Sue Perry
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ME: Meditation brings so many benefits, I want to increase the amount of time I meditate each day but I can so rarely make it happen, I must be resisting the effort. I don’t want to stay in the shallows, I want to go deeper into the lake.
SHORTY (the part of me that has been resisting): You wouldn’t need longer sessions if you were more disciplined during the sits you’re already doing.
ME: Maybe. I do let myself look around a lot. But I’m wondering if we’re also afraid to go deeper.
SHORTY: What’s to be afraid of? Is that an ego thing?
ME: Remember that time at the 1 week retreat, that scary image we had of being suspended backwards over a void? Could that be the same fear? (Whatever that fear was?)
SHORTY: Okay fear does seem to be involved here. But I’m not tapping any explanations. Any of us who are actually feeling those fears, can you join the conversation?… … [crickets] …
SHORTY: You think I’m hiding my fears, don’t you?
ME (shrugs) I think we’ve gone as far was we’re going to get with this right now.Granddaughter is graduating from elementary school.
She is so nervous about being late.
(The school is far, through L.A. traffic.)
Her parents are heroes:
her complicated hairdo, the toddlers who don’t wanna,
it all gets handled with ease and grace.
We’re out the door with so many minutes to spare!
As we settle into the freeway crush,
her father my son realizes.
He forgot the required tickets.
We have to turn around.
Now we’ll be late. Maybe, unbearably late.
I’m riding shotgun and I’m feeling
just how much he wanted to do this right.
Just how wrong her day has gone.
Yet more hurts I can’t protect them from.
