How could I possibly learn to clean up? There was no dust, dirt, or mess. All the things were in their places, yet all I saw were scowling faces. I was the only kid in charge of two adult parents who were following a manual written in invisible ink. What was I to think? My job was to fix the unseen messes – the fact that dad had an ulcer was my fault because I upset mom which made her drink too much. The fact that mom drank too much was my fault because I upset dad which upset his ulcer which upset mom and made her drink. Unfortunately for the planet, the grown-ups I was managing helped design and implement the military industrial complex in the United States. By second grade, I had learned multiple derogatory terms for people who weren’t white, and needed to be killed. By third grade I knew ICBM stood for intercontinental ballistic missile. By 12, thanks to my Grandpa Wes, I knew I was destined to be a different kind of clean up woman. Now at 76, I’m reviewing my merit badge journey and reading a new instruction manual – also written in invisible ink – but this one comes with crystals and a decoding ring. Cleaning up after myself isn’t just about dirt, but perhaps moving the dirt around a bit will lead to new and better acronyms – like ICBM might mean I CAN BE MAGIC.