Betsy Loeb
Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Dear Dominic, Your essay reflects so much your integration of the teachings and the value of sitting meditation. I can feel your emotions through your words “I felt my emotions without a filter, very raw, I could experience what was going on inside of me and just be with it.” You’ve experienced your losses (especially your mom) deeply and continue to connect with the impermanence without grasping in an unhealthy manner. Congratulations to you! May you continue to appreciate how far you’ve come. Betsy
I do think that meditation has helped me with difficult emotions.
When I’m meditating I feel much more in touch with “me”. If I’m relaxed and not hurried I will remember to notice how I’m feeling before I start my practice. And, while practicing I see how my mind thoughts come and go as do my feelings. Again, at the end of my practice, if I remember to check-in with my feelings, they usually have shifted a bit. They may seem to still be difficult, but at least I can feel that there’s been a shift. These experiences give me the trust to remember when having difficult emotions, these too will ride the wave of change.Dear Helene,
Glad you shared that last part! and your essay was so filled with teachings. And, driving seems to be a universal concern. It seems daily that someone talks about the difficulties in the speeds and recklessness by many drivers. I can only hope that more people will become aware of our own tendencies and help to make driving safer.Dear Kate, It sounds like you are reading a very interesting book especially with these times of growing tension leading up to our elections in the USA.
Doug is so fortunate to have you as a friend, as someone he can be genuine with his feelings. I appreciate how you left your own needs (of hunger) to be with him. And, to relate with him on your common experience of reading the book with the reminder: “As the future unfolds, we can act from the best parts of ourselves.”
I appreciate that quote. It is so universal as a reminder to all of us regardless of circumstances. It’s a gentle reminder that we can only act with who we are in the moment and be kind to ourselves and have the intention to “act from the best parts of ourselves”.
With great appreciation to you for sharing your wisdom with all of us, Betsy
Thanks, Karen, for your insights and they are so well-written! As Kate mentioned, your relating to ego as Brussel sprouts gave me deeper meaning (& laughter) to Chogyam Trungpa’s definition. And, what wisdom that you caught yourself wanting to “convert” the Philippine woman to your point of view. I find that especially true for myself with others during this intense lead up to our elections in the USA.
How can I reconcile “letting go of self as a path to happiness”?
I think that the “self” or “ego” as “holding onto one’s existence” as described by Chogyman Trumpa Rinpoche in this article helps me to see how claustophobic my life could be. I know that when helping others to feel happy, I, too, feel happy. And, I don’t mean it in a transactional way.Is it possible? I think it is. I think through practicing meditation, becoming familiar with my own mind, my old habits and practicing the paramitas, this can arise naturally.
An example: I feel this naturally with being with my grandsons. I think it comes spontaneously for many reasons: I was an early childhood educator and know how important positive experiences are for the well-being of a child’s development. I also feel daily the upheaval in our world where I see the aggression that arises from a “me first” attitude and a scarcity mentality. I think my study of Buddhism has provided me the framework to understand how supporting one another can change the world.
Is it always easy? No. In fact, just yesterday I was at a new carwash. After the young man showed me my car to see if everything was alright, I noticed a twenty dollar bill in my cup holder. I asked him where this came from? He said it was caught within the seat cushion. I was so surprised and impressed with his action. I, however, tipped him with a $10 bill when shortly after I realized that I should have tipped him with that $20 for his honesty and good work. I felt terrible. I could see that I had a scarcity mentality and lacked generosity. Had I given him the $20 I imagine he would have been happy and I would have, too!! Not the same, but I have contacted the business to let them know about their good & honest worker.
Dear David, What beautiful words that you expressed in your essay. Yes, “almost everyone can relate to”. And, you seem to have strengthened who you are, have become more compassionate to others and may I dare say, more compassionate to yourself. Such valuable lessons. I wish you continued discovery, strength and love on your journey.
Dear Helene, What beautiful words that you gave to your painful experience. It strikes me on so many levels. The most of which resonates for me is your courage to adopt. My father was adopted at age 5 years old. We have few records and none tell the story of why he was in an orphanage. He was born in 1909 so records weren’t so well kept. The orphanage burned down and that resulted in loss of records. I often wonder what it must have been like for all involved. But, what I’m delighted about is he was always with smiles, love and jokes!! I miss my dad so much; he was a very loving father.
My reflection on a painful experience: I feel like a broken record. My experience was my divorce from a 20 year relationship at the age of 45 years old with 2 young children. At that point and for a good 10 years I felt like I had bottomed out…groundlessness was ever present. As I told my therapist: “But, I’ve had a boyfriend since first grade!” “I don’t know how to love myself!”
How is it now that it’s in the past? Now that it’s 30 years ago!! I still feel a loss. But, I think it’s a story I tell myself. “That my world would be just perfect if I was in a loving relationship.”
I found meditation and Buddhist teachings about 15 years ago. This has helped me to realize my connectedness with others who feel “alone”. I had been so dependent upon my husband back then, I didn’t know who I was. Through the years I’ve grown in confidence, in independence and in joy of so many new experiences. I guess you could say that I’ve become “a more truthful version of who you already are.”
My journey is far from over, and I am still on the path on discovering my truth.
Susan, thank you so much for this contemplation.I couldn’t figure out how to edit my response to essay. But the “Land of Udeana” as I wrote I believe the correct spelling is “Uddiyana”.
My lineage and who I request blessings from? Fortunately for me I’ve previously heard Susan’s teaching on how to keep my practice spiritual. I ask blessings from a few teachers from Buddhist tradition (Pema, Susan), my therapist (Carol), a spiritual friend (Anne). When I say their names, I touch my right shoulder. Others are my personal, family lineage (my daughters, grandsons, my siblings) and those who are deceased (my parents, grandparents and my ancestors) and my long-time personal friend (Ellyn). I then touch my left shoulder.
I also evoke blessings through a “chant” that Susan offered: “Hum, in the Northwest land of Udeana (sp?) on a blooming lotus flower…” and “Grant your blessings so that my mind may be one with the Dharma…”. These don’t specify a particular person, but for me evoke the spiritual leaders of the Tibetan Buddhist lineage going back to the Buddha.
I also feel flexible that if I find that I want to add to my lineage for blessings such as my Jewish heritage, or elderly divorced women living alone, or grandmothers or those searching for Peace and sanity that I may do that as well!!
Betsy Loeb
Participant
Dear Ann, Thank you for your response with connection. And, you brought laughter to me with your words, “soul mate…want to change him all the time.” Fabulous!! May you see in him the love that continues to hold true for both of you.Dear Susie, Thank you for your response to my aging! I really appreciate your words: Gratitude = Buoyancy. I will keep that as a lovely mantra. My parents were quite a bit older than me, my dad 43 yrs older, my mom, 40 yrs older. I remember growing up always being aware of that, especially because some of my friends had grandparents who were their peers. So I didn’t want them to die when I still was too young. Unfortunately my dad died when I was in my early 30’s…too young for me; and my mom, in my late 40’s … still too young for me. I don’t know now what it means to have elderly parents to care/love for, but I wish you the courage, the love, the compassion to be there for them and for you.
