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Sadness and Heartbreak

November 7, 2007   |   1 Comment

I posted an essay some weeks (months?) back called, “Once I Had a Broken Heart.” I’ve received a tremendous amount of feedback, mostly from people who are struggling with this extraordinarily painful situation. The pain of a relationship ending is so real and cuts so deep, but we think we should just snap out of it after awhile. It’s not... READ MORE

Stories I've Been Told

November 6, 2007   |   Leave a reply

When my husband and I began dating, we had tremendous hunger to know who the other was. Daytime was an irritating obstacle to be gotten through until we could hold each other at night, when we would make love, certainly, but mainly we looked at each other. Listened. Smelled. Tasted. Touched. He was a stranger, but I knew him. And... READ MORE

A Viewpoint on Heartbreak

November 6, 2007   |   1 Comment

I was talking to my friend Michael Carroll today. We started discussing the nature of heartbreak. Here’s what he said. Check this riff: The defining aspect of our nature is vulnerability. Vulnerability is the precondition for compassion. The foundation of vulnerability is uncertainty. The seed of the open mind is tenderness…this is what allows us to fall in love, cherish... READ MORE

once i had a broken heart. it was awful.

September 15, 2007   |   35 Comments

This is my story. What’s yours? Buddhism gives a unique perspective on relating to a broken heart. Of course, there are broken hearts and then there are broken hearts. No matter how much losing other relationships may have made you cry, there are some endings that transcend everything you’ve ever known about pain. If you’ve had such a heartbreak, you... READ MORE

new article: "getting serious"

August 24, 2007   |   2 Comments

I wrote an article entitled, “Getting Serious” for the September issue of Body & Soul magazine. It’s about things to consider when you’re thinking about getting serious about a relationship.

compromise, shmompromise

June 22, 2007   |   3 Comments

“Relationships take compromise.” Is there any piece of relationship advice more ubiquitous than this? Personally, the first time I heard it, I hoped it wasn’t true. It sounded like a grim reality, one where I’d have to sacrifice what I wanted and find some way to do what the other person wanted even though it was stupid. And plus I’d... READ MORE

UK glamour mag called

June 6, 2007   |   1 Comment

what questions can you ask yourself to see if you’re ready for marriage? could i devise a short quiz for readers to test their readiness? i love things like this. a chance to try to say something i believe to be helpful, in women’s magazine-speak. without being a liar or a fool. challenge to self: try to point out the... READ MORE

"Out of Fear" (Shambhala Sun 2007)

June 3, 2007   |   Leave a reply

When I began practicing Buddhism in 1995, I hoped it would help me cope with depression, make me more loving, and, mainly, decrease the level of fear that seemed to always accompany me—fear of financial ruin, war, my own unlovability, or who could be calling me on the phone. And it really helped with these things; I calmed down a... READ MORE