Naomi Brining

[Naomi Brining]

During a period of crisis in a long-term relationship, I went to therapy in hopes of working through some of the problems I thought would help resolve this crisis.
The issue of boundaries came in when, after every session with the therapist my partner would grill me about what we talked about. I would try to be vague, but they persisted.
Soon, I started making up topics and conversations on the way home to talk about to appease my partner and maintain my privacy.
Why not just stand my ground? Draw the proverbial line? The emotion of the situation certainly makes it less clear, less easy to explain.

That was me then and not the me now. I cringe even writing the words because of how it must sound.
I am better today about boundaries and “sticking up” for myself.
On occasion I can feel something that wants to shift in my body and mind and react in an old way, but I have learned too much about me to falter that much! And it has been this practice that has made the difference..

[Naomi Brining]

we did not plan for this day
we never do

we watch the days go by as if they will never
run out

Our life together begins with me as me and you
as you

Then we dance the dance of life, now me as you
and you a cloud

And at this crossroads of where you are
or are not

Is still the deepest yearning inside
my heart

[Naomi Brining]

Not Me: Read another book! Someone cited a book? Get that one too! Someone quoted a yogi in Sanskrit with line and verse? why don’t YOU know it?? Why doesn’t anything ever stick in your head? Do you even know what you’re trying to learn? To be?

Me: Stop reading and DO the thing already! Practice is where you learn. The path is different for everyone, and the Ego is making you doubtful. Be persistent, keep showing up. No one is asking me to perfect.

This was extremely hard to share.

[Naomi Brining]

So many rituals!
The ritual I have in the morning before work.
The ritual I have in the morning when I’m off.
The before bed ritual.
And then all the ones in between.

Imbedded in my life so deeply that it happens without me even noticing sometimes.

Unfortunately, I haven’t treated meditation this way. (that could maybe be a good thing?)
But what I mean is that I haven’t prioritized it enough for it to become rote.
Meditation becomes the thing that I allow to fall off when I’m lying to myself about how much time I don’t have.
I have made the intention to change this.
Beginning with changing one thought at a time and trying desperately to avoid self judgement.
Believing that even small steps count.

To add more magic to ANY of my rituals, but especially meditation, I will try and find AND celebrate each step forward and I will try to show myself compassion when I have not “shown up” as I had hoped or planned.

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