Amy Burke
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I was very moved by the sharing and conversation that occurred on Wednesday’s meditation meeting and since then have been thinking about curiosity, warriorship, bravery, vulnerability etc. It’s a lot. Not in a bad way. It’s just a lot – being human, being open to heartbreak. And how meditation practice is THE WHOLE THING. I am not articulating myself clearly because it’s all swirling around. Also not in a bad way. Somehow Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche’s words about meditation being about becoming friends with ourselves is also hanging around. Now I will go clean that carpet that has needed cleaning all year.
The other day I heard Crystal say something about paying attention to how one begins and ends their practice. It is no surprise to me that I rush through my practice. Not always. But I am rush-y by nature and this does often extend into sitting.
I light a candle at the beginning which has helped me to slow down a bit. You know, I don’t always get fire on the first strike of the match. Gotta be patient with that. And I try to offer the smoke from the extinguished match. To something, that it may somehow be of help. (Still trying to figure out if I should be offering to something, let’s say, more specific.)
I say hello to the people on my shrine. When I remember. Sometimes I say hello to the objects too but forget that most days.
These days I am doing the practice as suggested to all of us. Prior to this I was doing a different practice and I didn’t say the Heart Sutra. I had introduced the Four Reminders but didn’t actually contemplate them. I dig the instructions (paraphrasing) to – just see, just feel, just notice, – in relation to them. I really appreciate the chanting, the contemplating, the sitting. Simple and profound.
Usually I jump up at the end of my time on the mat but have tried to slow it down. Once I heard Susan say that a teacher on retreat spoke to them about letting the Jñānasattvas (wisdom beings?) settle before moving on. I loved this. Just give it a second, dude. And not just in practice but in all moments.
I have been more aware these past few days of ritual in many moments throughout my day. Everything seems to have a beginning, middle and end. I’d like to remember this more often.
Hi all! My name is Amy Burke and I am a Canadian currently living in Spain. I have worked in education my entire life and now find myself at a crossroads as I look for other ways to show up in the world. I have practiced meditation on and off for many years.
At the moment, these lyrics from Paul Simon’s Graceland keep running through my mind.
There is a girl in New York City
Who calls herself the human trampoline
And sometimes when I’m falling, flying
Or tumbling in turmoil I say
“Whoa, so this is what she means”With regards to my practice these days, I too feel like I’m falling, flying or tumbling in turmoil. But the next lyric says something about bouncing into Graceland. That would be nice. Bouncing into Grace Land.
Oh and for some reason, I can’t stop watching sports on TV.
I’m really looking forward to spending these 30 days with all of you. (Also a bit trepidatious.)