Djuna Penn
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I’ve had my doubts about whether I was ready to offer meditation instruction. I expected that this training was going to involve learning exact steps and detailed dharma. I think that might have been easier for me to learn (and totally in my comfort zone).
The role of MI is complex and nuanced in a way I didn’t expect. But the focus on simplicity and the precision of the technique, and the importance of a clear container have helped me feel more grounded in the role. At the same time, the view shows how to hold ourselves and others in such a spacious and gentle way, I find myself willing to cautiously step into the open-heartedness of it all.
Reflecting on what I’ve learned, I do feel prepared and ready to offer 1×1 instruction, with mindful preparation of course, including meditating before-hand. Maybe even a small group after some practice with 1x1s.
The sacredness of stepping into the lineage of countless teachers and practitioners, doing my best to transmit their teachings, will always keep me feeling a bit vulnerable, which seems right.
Caitlin, I so appreciate your authentic response. And because you’re ready to say ‘not right now’, I think when/if you get to ‘ok, I’m ready’ will likewise be authentic. I’ve been questioning my own readiness as well.
Nathalie, I love your description of what you hope to offer, because it lays out your aspirations behind teaching. My aspirations for teaching are a touchstone I come back to throughout this training, especially when I feel self-doubt.
I was really inspired by Susan saying she almost always feels a bit of fear or uncertainty. And that she takes that as an indication that what she’s about to do is important. I think in a way, that nervousness will help me stay more present while teaching.
Hi Ana, I’m really struck by the idea of precise but not narrow, and it occurs to me that Susan’s direction to keep the instructions simple is another reflection on that idea of precise. When in doubt, simplify!
Erin, I share your reticence around more in-depth questions around the dharma. I like the idea of directing people to other teachers and communities. That gives me the idea to put together a few good ones to have in the back of my mind. Susan’s book Start Here Now (I think that’s the title) is a good one for beginner meditators. It will be a bit of a challenge to ‘forget’ what I’ve read and learned about Buddhism and get into what the person asking needs. But that’s one of the roles of the meditation teacher, so with practice I hope I’ll get better at that.
Dawa, I really value your openness about how your Bikram yoga experience harmed you so deeply. Making that experience part of becoming a great helper and a fierce humanist takes grit and courage. Great example of finding gold in the dark sister.
Oh my gosh Stina, the feeling of not understanding something that everyone else seems to be getting is hard. But I think I’d be pretty discouraged to not be able to find a way to catch up (which I think is part of the instructor’s role to help learners with). It’s a nightmare scenario, and I’m sorry you went through that.
Nathalie, I really like the idea of offering meditation as part of a collective of teachers, or other wellness practitioners. We have a wonderful yoga studio nearby and I’ve been thinking about approaching to see if they’d be interested in me offering a class to their members.
Your perspective on fair compensation as a way of honouring the lineage has got me thinking: in what ways can I honour the lineage of scholars, monastics, teachers, and lay people who all worked to preserve and pass along the dharma? The answer that just came to me as I write this is doing my best to live the teachings every day.
I struggle with charging the going rate for my work as a leadership coach, unless it’s part of a corporate program.
It feels very personal to ask another person directly to pay me for my services. I haven’t looked very deeply into this for myself -definitely some unexplored territory for me.
Several friends have asked me to offer a class since our training here started in January. And I’d be comfortable having a class at home for them for a food donation, maybe.
Otherwise, I’ve thought about a few teaching set-ups. But none of them feel like the right fit yet.
At this point, I think my hesitation has more to do with being ‘out’ about my Buddhist practice than anything else, even though we’re not learning to teach the dharma.
Hi Virginia, I share your feelings about valuing other peoples services and time than my own. I don’t know how this will translate into me leading any meditation classes. I think it really depends on what I end up offering people in the way of meditation classes. I have the luxury of time on my hands too, and I like to help others who don’t.
For me, the best learning environment is a combination of social learning and a relatable, student- centred instructor. That can be hard to find, but luckily it’s exactly what I get at my Tai Ji Quan
school right now. I go to a small class, and a lot of us started out as total beginners about two years ago. We joke around, and at the same time try to help each other, keeping it a bit light while we’re working pretty hard.Our instructor Eduardo uses a strengths-based approach, which is great for me because I don’t do at all well with harsh or punitive environments. He notices even the tiniest bits of effort or progress and always seems actually pleased by them. He’ll often invite questions and asks us where we want to focus during the class. Despite 20 years of intense training, he talks openly about still being a student, the mistakes he’s made, and what he’s working on now. I think his honesty and humbleness makes him so relatable and for me is encouraging, because it shows that he gets how hard everyone is working because he has to work that hard too.
I either get fearful or resentful with instructors who are controlling or use their role to pump themselves up at the expense of students’ learning. At this moment I can remember a couple of
bosses who acted that way, but I think I’ve blocked out any specific memories of teachers or instructors who did.There is so much to this topic for me. I grew up with a single mother who was quite unskilled in giving love and nurturing, and who relied on shame and anger to control her kids. Staying remote and introverted has always been my way of protecting myself, even when I also desperately wanted to connect with others. Through therapy and recovery, I’ve discovered the terrifying joy of being vulnerable and authentically me, and the friendship and closeness I always needed.
As a new leadership coach, I wasn’t prepared for how much I would care about some of my clients, or for how much pain I felt about their suffering. And sometimes it was tough to keep healthy boundaries around self-disclosure and carrying those feelings into my personal life.
I see now that my training, personal values, code of ethics, and engagement agreements all help build a container for working with clients. And the practice of holding my seat in the student-teacher role also helps keep the container stable.
But I think I’ll always be learning more about how to ‘step in and step back’, because life is messy and unpredictable.
Lauren, I’ve been turning over the idea of containers and how to establish them throughout the course. Your example of values, mission and commitment as a way to create a container really helps me to see a way to do that. And I just realized a time when I did do that intuitively, I just never thought of it that way when I look back on the memory.