Joe Emery
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One of my favorite learning environments was a ‘theory of teaching’ course with a professor named Jason. He chose to demonstrate teaching styles and learning styles through actually arranging the room and teaching in the style we learned about each day. He lectured about lecturing, arranging himself at the front and the students in rows. He led a discussion on discussion, arranging us in a circle. He mixed visual, auditory and somatic learning constantly, but initially taught about all of them through their respective mediums. It was effective because we continually did the things we were learning about.
Many of my least favorite learning environments were sports teams with poor leadership. I recall one in particular where there was a distinct in-group and out-group, with so much inter-squad competition that we never bonded as a team. The leaders seemed to use criticism and aggression as their main form of motivation and it seemed to make a lot of us (and many of our opponents) miserable. I think I actually regressed as an athlete during the year I was playing on that team.
Hi Sandie, thank you for this comment. Your words are a reminder not to undervalue ourselves or allow ourselves to be exploited. I love the sentiment ‘clear is kind.’
Hi Mike, I like your comment that there is an exchange of value and energy in instructing meditation. I have always felt like I wanted my therapist to be compensated because they are taking part in a powerful energetic exchange. This point makes me more likely to seek compensation or donations for leading groups. I also lead meditation groups with inmates – a context where I volunteer. I suppose my only payment is the knowledge that some of them may benefit from my work.
Hi Jake, thank you for this response! I’m grateful to you for pointing this out. I guess you’re right in the sense that discipline doesn’t have to display in a formulaic manner. I think I was somewhat unconsciously thinking of the paramita of discipline the same way I think about western notions of discipline, which is rigid and structured. I suppose it doesn’t matter so much how discipline manifests, so as long as we return to our practice and stick with it.
Hi Liana, I really appreciate your comment about having doubts and feeling squirrely about the unknown. I feel that every time I’m about to do something outside my comfort zone and sometimes the feeling is strong enough to keep me from going through with things. The nice thing for me about this practice is the confidence I have in my teachers and my lineage and the trust that if they think I’m ready, then they’re probably right.
Hi Melanie, I really appreciate the response to a question that is “beyond our ability to answer.” It’s a great reminder that we don’t have to know everything and we don’t have to be perfect.
The short answer to this question is yes. The long answer is that I don’t have any plans to give 1 on 1 instruction or serve as an MI at the moment. I have led meditation in a number of group contexts and I plan on continuing that work. Being an MI for just one other person actually sounds pretty intense, but I trust my training and trust the practice, so I think I would adjust and adapt to that setting once I started. One of my favorite things is noticing how speedy and/or scattered we can be before practicing meditation and then observing how settled we are afterwards. I am totally drawn to this phenomena – it keeps me coming back to this practice and to my sanghas.
I don’t feel like there should be a hard and fast rule about the relationship between money and teachings meditation. I’ve known Buddhist monks who had cell phones and cars – those things didn’t diminish their monastic training or wisdom. It was funny to see people’s reaction to someone in monk’s robes getting out of a car at a restaurant. This sort of thing can certainly be taken too far in cases like Osho, who owned 30 Rolls Royces or something like that.
For any setting where I am leading my own meditation group, I want it to be free or donation-based (at least for the time being). This is more an instinctual feeling I have about my own relationship to the dharma and to money. I genuinely feel that there is no monetary value that could possibly be placed on meditation or the dharma, so I am reluctant to assign a dollar amount to them.
I volunteer and lead groups with prison inmates – they have no resources to give. I have been paid for this type of work before (I was a hospital chaplain) and I was content to be paid by the institution, but I was never in a situation where it would have been appropriate to charge money to patients or staff for my work. I have some ideas for paying myself going forward, including establishing a non-profit but I’ll have to see how it shakes out.
I have not seen any uniform norms in American Buddhism for how teachers support themselves; it seems to vary quite a bit.
Hi Erin – I appreciate your comment about ‘taking care of your own well being outside of the student-teacher relationship.’ I have worked as a chaplain and devoted myself completely to the job, but in doing so neglected my own well-being. Hoping that I’ve really learned from that experience!
Hi Mike, I really agree with an element of your comment. It seems like by instinct or good fortune I have tended to gravitate toward teachers who are really healthily boundaried – they are not distant, but also not inappropriately close.
I had a meditation instructor in 2015 when I first started to really dive into my practice that I ultimately had to cut off because he kept wanting to spend time with me outside of the bounds of our MI relationship. He was knowledgeable when it came to the practice and gave quality instruction. Over time, he started doing me favors that I didn’t ask for and making vaguely inappropriate comments which eventually led to him asking me to go to dinner a few times. It wasn’t anything traumatizing, but it was uncomfortable and certainly left me second guessing the legitimacy of that particular branch of the lineage. In that sense, this MI’s interest in closeness did damage my perception of the teachings for a time.
Erin!
I really appreciate your comment about the relationship between unchecked generosity and discipline. I have had to learn (painfully) that it takes discipline to hold my boundaries and that my natural propensity for service can really burn me out. Thanks for your description of that relationship!
The paramita I feel most connected to is diligence. Despite my spiritual clumsiness, my inconsistency and the obstacles I encounter, I never quit. Once I decided to begin this path, I have done everything I could to devote myself to it. Gradually, seemingly disparate parts of my life have started to merge with the path. I have had stretches where I don’t practice with any regularity, but I always come back to the practice and the middle way.
I often feel disconnected to the paramita of discipline. I have an aversion to routine and regularity that has undoubtedly been an obstacle to my practice. I don’t sit at the same time every day. Without a class or a sangha, my meditation starts to slack. I genuinely don’t feel like I have the discipline to follow this path on my own. Because of this, I have really appreciated Susan emphasizing Sangha as the most important of the three jewels. I currently participate in three (3!) sanghas and I really believe that they are the steadying force on my path.
This is was the first time I’ve given meditation instruction over zoom and I noticed that it was a little harder to pick up on the other person’s energy when we’re not in the same room. I’ve led in-person meditation groups many times, but zoom has a different texture and feeling to it. I did my best to trust the instructions and practice because I didn’t feel like I had a great sense of my parter’s energy during the sit.
I enjoy giving instruction and meditating with other people, so in that sense I was happy about the whole experience. I have been trying to pay more attention to the details of posture as Susan outlines them, because I think I have been a little lax about my posture and how I instruct others in posture. Not sure if I really hit all the details about posture. Regardless, I didn’t feel nervous or uncertain about any aspects of instruction.
Hi Mike,
I can’t help but feel a similar appreciation for what you expressed toward the teachers and practitioners that came before you. I also have to echo the sense of awe and surprise: Why me? Why am I so fortunate to get to practice and study with these people? Sometimes I tell people my greatest superpower is pure, dumb luck. But I suppose the Buddhist answer to all of this is ‘Karma.’ I’m curious if you feel a sense of any Karmic history or pattern that led you here?