Joe Emery
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This is was the first time I’ve given meditation instruction over zoom and I noticed that it was a little harder to pick up on the other person’s energy when we’re not in the same room. I’ve led in-person meditation groups many times, but zoom has a different texture and feeling to it. I did my best to trust the instructions and practice because I didn’t feel like I had a great sense of my parter’s energy during the sit.
I enjoy giving instruction and meditating with other people, so in that sense I was happy about the whole experience. I have been trying to pay more attention to the details of posture as Susan outlines them, because I think I have been a little lax about my posture and how I instruct others in posture. Not sure if I really hit all the details about posture. Regardless, I didn’t feel nervous or uncertain about any aspects of instruction.
Hi Mike,
I can’t help but feel a similar appreciation for what you expressed toward the teachers and practitioners that came before you. I also have to echo the sense of awe and surprise: Why me? Why am I so fortunate to get to practice and study with these people? Sometimes I tell people my greatest superpower is pure, dumb luck. But I suppose the Buddhist answer to all of this is ‘Karma.’ I’m curious if you feel a sense of any Karmic history or pattern that led you here?
I feel like I have of a family lineage, a spiritual lineage and communal lineage. The family lineage is where my ancestors – Danes and Italians – immigrated to the U.S. and came together in my parents. I often embody the warmth and welcoming of my Italian family (a very “Ratna” energy in Buddhist terms). I also feel the drive, intensity, the desire to explore and push myself that I associate with my Danish ancestry.
In terms of a spiritual lineage, I have an undeniable connection to Tibetan Buddhism. This started when I was twelve, when I had this long-running, inexplicable fascination with Tibet and His Holiness the Dalai Lama. It pushed me to find my current teachers, Anam Thubten, Susan, and Janet Gilmore. I draw a great deal of confidence from their lineage, because I can trace the predecessors to my teachers – Machig Lapdron, Longchepa, Jigme Lingpa, Paltrul Rinpoche, Yeshe Tsogyal and Padmasambhava. I have read their teachings and studied the myths surrounding them. I feel certain that by doing my best to follow their teachings, my path, my practice and my relationships will be genuine.
My communal lineage is the Austin music scene. I trace it back to Willy Nelson, but it includes people like Blaze Foley and Lucinda Williams. I was raised by musicians, I spent my whole life seeing my father and many adopted ‘aunts’ and ‘uncles’ play gigs. They are and always were my community. They are quirky, awesome humans who have encouraged me and loved me all of my life. In many ways, they are the foundation that allowed me to practice and study Buddhism without ever questioning whether I should be chasing a more conventional career. I would not be here without them.
For me, eternalism comes out when I start speculating or daydreaming about the future. Despite my time spent studying and observing impermanence, there is some part of me that is still trying to create an eternal, permanent goldilocks zone for myself. I must still be holding out hope that if I meditate enough, I will reach some eternal state of bliss and compassion called enlightenment and then I’ll be DONE. In this sense, I think eternalism was part of what drove me to Buddhism and to practice.
My experience of nihilism shows up when my eternalist hopes are regularly dashed. During such times, my internal (and occasionally external) dialogue starts to sound something like a Rust Cohle monologue from the show True Detective: “We are all just sacks of meat, furiously trying to consume as much nutrition as possible and fulfill a biological imperative to reproduce, while making up meaning where there is none.” Here’s a confession: this statement still seems true to me any time I’m feeling the least bit grumpy.
I suppose I’m in love with the Middle Way because at the very least, it is something ELSE besides these two extremes.
Hi Sandie, the thing that really shines through to me from your essay is that despite this practice being ancient and despite the technique always being the same, if we practice with diligence our experience is “new and fresh every time.” I suppose holding the container does actually open things up and create the magic.
Mary! I love your point about consistency in the technique. When I was first learning meditation, I had guides who were very consistent in their instructions and I’m still grateful for the foundation they laid for my practice!
This is by no means a complete answer, but the first two tools that came to mind in supporting discovery were 1) Curiosity and 2) Boundaries.
The boundaries create the container for magic that Susan has described. Setting aside time for practice, defining the practice, defining our role as a meditation teacher – this is the very container for discovery. Without boundaries, we end up with issues like codependence, enmeshment, and transference. Instead of supporting a person’s process of discovery, they may feel dependent on us to have insights and epiphanies. This is just one example, but a lack of boundaries can end up being a mess in a whoooooole bunch of ways.
Curiosity leads to depth and expansion of discovery. If we lack curiosity, we have a finite outer limit of what can and cannot be discovered. To quote Vimalakirti: do not impose the narrow path upon those who aspire to the great path. Curiosity from a facilitator allows discoveries to unfold naturally and be deeply explored, instead of narrowly defining where a practice will lead.
Hi Yall,
My name is Joe Emery, I’m a graduate of Naropa University and a former hospital chaplain. I’ve been studying and practicing Buddhism since I was 24 – about 12 years. I am a student of Anam Thubten Rinpoche in the Nyingma tradition (and a mentee of Susan’s). I currently lead a few meditation groups in prisons and I’m really excited for this chance to reflect and refresh about what it means to be a meditation teacher!