Allison Potter
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I think I may know who you are talking about! I do think it is challenging to be friends with your teachers and boundaries get very blurry.
You are a beautiful writer; I loved your descriptions I felt as if I was there. You should write more if you feel called to!
I agree with you so much on the trust piece. Thank you for sharing. It is important to create a space of safety.
I had a similar feeling when I first got my yoga teacher training certification. I thought I had to be the perfectly practiced yogi in order to be of value as a teacher. I have come to find out that is not the case. I hope you may come to find that out here as well.
When I did my sit with Susan I had a deep sense of calmness. I felt ready to lead someone who, at times, intimidates me. Not due to her demeanor, just due to how much I respect and value the teachings of her heart. To me, that was the ultimate test to see if I would feel ready to teach 1:1.
I have grown more into acceptance that it does not need to be “perfect” to be valuable. That I do have an inner knowing that I can tap into. That I can be comfortable in the silence.
I may not have been a vocal participant during our classes, but I got so much value out of being present during the vulnerability of others. Which is hard for me. But I did it, and it helped me be open and able to listen to the vulnerability in potential students.
This is a difficult one for me to answer because my idea of an ideal learning environment has changed. I used to think I needed quiet, stillness. Now I think that I learn the most in situations that make me uncomfortable. For example, this class has many moments where I feel uncomfortable. The discomfort is in the intimacy of listening to people’s shares. Being envious that people are able to express themselves to freely without fear of judgement, or with the fear but pushing through it anyway.
I think what I have learned most from this class is that everything is impermanent. My preferences included.For this form of practice, I think I would do it more so for donation-based payments only. However, that being said, it is not my career that I need for my livelihood. I wish I could teach yoga and meditation and make ends meet rather than work in a corporate based environment. I have friends who teach as their main career and are stressed out all of the time with no reliable income or benefits. I know there are ways to make it happen, but I am not sure I have the “spiritual hustle” in me. I do like what OHP does having scholarships available to those in need.
One of my earliest experiences was as a ballet student. My teachers tended to be quite remote. I am deeply grateful for the discipline and work ethic I developed during that time; however, there were also elements of trauma in that environment. When I was training, it was often considered acceptable for teachers to operate in ways that bordered on abusive—emotionally and sometimes physically. There was very little relational warmth or emotional attunement. While the structure created technical excellence, the lack of connection left its mark. Ballet culture has evolved over time, and many teachers today embody more balance, but during my formative years, distance was the norm.
Now, as a student of yoga, I have experienced the opposite extreme as well. I once had to step away from a yoga studio where the teachers became more like friends. The boundaries blurred, and the dynamic slowly became toxic and no longer healing or beneficial for me. The over-familiarity diminished the container of safety that a teacher-student relationship requires. At the same time, I have also studied with teachers who are more reserved and boundaried. Interestingly, I tend to be drawn to them—perhaps because that dynamic feels familiar from my ballet upbringing.
Recently, during our practice teaching, I felt this tension arise within myself. My practice student was visibly emotional at the beginning of the session. A part of me wanted to rescue, to process feelings, to offer comfort beyond the scope of the practice. I felt genuinely conflicted. Ultimately, I reminded myself that we were there to share meditation teachings. It was not my role to fix or rescue. Holding compassionate presence while maintaining appropriate boundaries felt like walking a fine line—but it also felt like the work.
Through these experiences, both as a student and as a teacher, I am beginning to understand that remaining connected yet separate is not about emotional distance. It is about clarity of role, steadiness of presence, and trust in the container of the practice itself.
I loved your essay, Elizabeth. This line will stick with me, “I have learned that a hand-out is not always the same as helping someone.”
Great way to connect different paramitas.Thank you for sharing your insights, Ana. Every time I think I have the patience thing down, I go babysit my niece and nephew :).
The paramitas I feel the most connected to are also the same that I feel disconnected from.
Generosity for example, I feel connected to in the way that I do see actions I take as being generous. But it can also be a disconnect when I use generosity as a way to try to seek validation– consciously or sub-consciously. I can take a step back and have the awareness to see some of my actions as that. I can be a self-diagnosed people pleaser and can recognize this behavior as being “unhealthy” and not used in a bodhisattva manner (if that makes sense).The other paramitas I see a conflicting connection to is that of Discipline/Effort. Growing up a ballerina, discipline was and is still a part of who I am– coming naturally in my later years due to my studies. It can take a turn into disconnect when it becomes obsessive and perfectionistic.
I can also feel disconnected from patience in many areas of my life but have found when I am disciplined in my practice of yoga or meditation that it comes easier.
