How to Open Your Heart
May 13, 2011 | 7 CommentsWhat is meant by a “contemplative view?” Rather than probing your thoughts and feelings for a storyline (i.e., what does this mean about me, my past, you, our relationship?), you simply see your thoughts and feelings. Observe them. Take them in. Allow them to be as they are without seeking to manipulate them at all. You’ll see some stuff you like and some stuff you may not, including your habitual patterns and the anger, depression, or doubt that are locked up within them.
However, with a contemplative view (rather than—or in addition to—a psychological view) of these patterns, you see that rather than being emblematic of your failings, they are indications of your genius. Just below anger is crystalline clarity; just below depression is sadness, which is gentle, tender, and entirely workable; and just below doubt is a profound kind of questioning intelligence.
In this way, you cultivate one very, very important quality, without which, no matter how well-reasoned, most efforts to find happiness fall apart.
That quality is gentleness.
Toward yourself.
I’m sure you have felt gentleness time and again for those you love or admire: your child, lover, a hero of music or politics, even your pet. You think of this creature and your heart melts. You feel how deeply you wish for their ease, and not because they “deserve” it. There actually is no reason at all for this feeling, beyond love. Your heart is simply open.
When have you ever felt this toward yourself? It is very, very important that you look at yourself in just this way. Please, starting today: soften toward this precious and irreplaceable being: YOU. All you have to do is notice her. She is like no other and has gifts to give that cannot be sourced elsewhere.
From here, you are able to feel this way for everyone, not just those you already love. In this way, by opening your heart, first to yourself and then to all beings, you can change the world.
categorized in: dharma, open heart project
7 Comments
It’s hard to open your hard to LOVE after you’ve been hurt one too many times..
readyPLR
It is, for sure. I’m no expert, but just offer this thought in case it’s useful. Part of being gentle with yourself lies in not forcing yourself to open prematurely. Your own pace is your own pace–don’t beat yourself up for not moving faster. It has taken me a long, long time to be able to open, and it’s not on a permanent setting. Recognize that at any given moment you are doing the best you can. Whether or not you are ever able to open to others, may you experience peace within yourself and love for yourself.
“You yourself, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve you love and affection.”
Buddha
What a wonderfully succinct bit of insight! Thank you for being a very clear pointer to the moon, so to speak.
plz i would like to keep up and posted as a member of a network that i was brought to here has made me proud, i just need to get peace,read,and fully spiritually take it all inn-as it sounds like my water that ive been druthed for so long. thanx God-bless+
Susan, thank you for this writing. It just feels both scary and true, which are important signposts for me. For Ellen, it is hard for sure but for me it feels like it makes my heart soft and pliable, rather than brittle and prone to shattering. The challenging thing is that for me often the softness is a result of a tears marinade. I am just learning to bring gentleness and curiosity to my inner chambers.