How do we fight aggression without aggression?

Hello, Open Heart Project. This email is text-only, as you can see. I’ve been feeling more and more drawn to writing from a personal perspective about Buddhist teachings that help, inspire, confuse, or delight me. Some do all of the above. There will certainly be more videos! More meditations! But for the meantime, here are some thoughts about how to work with the very difficult energies of this time. 

This was also posted on my new substack newsletter, Buddhism Beyond Belief. I like substack so far! It’s fun! A whole world! I mean, you never know what it will become, but so it seems now. Also, it’s free and I’ve been posting my podcast episodes there. I also have a new podcast. WHO KNEW. I hope you enjoy these new ways of staying in touch.

In my last post, I mentioned two teachings from my Buddhist training that were helping me during this time of vast injustice, insane gaslighting, and sick power grabs. Since I only mentioned one of them (because I wrote more than expected and didn’t want to overstay my welcome), I’m going to pick up the thread here with suggestion number 2.

Note: neither help me feel better about what is going on (impossible!!) but they have supported me to remain connected to my inner strength, you, and this world where I so long to be of benefit.

The first, the Four Reminders (or Four Thoughts that Turn the Mind to the Dharma), help by showing me (in their own crazy way) how to fan the flames of appreciation/awe, respect, thoughtfulness, and inspiration when such things can seem so far off. You can read more about them here.

Note 2: zero of the four reminders are about bypassing, transcending, or seeing challenges as opportunities or any other such BS. You could say they are about doing the opposite: leaning deeply in, staying here, and the willingness to feel as a path to skillful action. As I’ve been trained, these are hallmarks of a good (though not easy) spiritual journey, one that is as fierce as it is gentle.

Now onto the second thing, an aspect of Buddhist cosmology called The Six Realms of samsara.

There are those who say these are actual places where you could end up in a future life or visit in dreams or, well, probably other ways, but I don’t know what they are. In all cases, each realm holds a different kind of samsaric suffering and while some sound better than others (because they are), you will continue to wander through them (“samsara” means wander) until you break the wheel of death and rebirth, aka become enlightened. (How?! Another post, perhaps. First I have to figure it out. You may have to wait awhile.)

You could also look at the realms as six psychological or spiritual landscapes, each with its own possibilities and perils. When you read the descriptions below, you’ll see what I mean.

Whether or not these places are “real,” we visit them regularly. Sometimes I visit each in a single day.

THE GOD REALM

The god realm is a place where everything goes perfectly without obstacles and whatever you wish for, you immediately have. You can fly. You’re psychic. You’re gorgeous. That may sound great but there is a downside: a long, long lifespan culminating in an extended and painful death with very little hope of enlightenment. You’re going to have to come back and try again. There is not enough suffering to compel one to practice and study the dharma so one is still bound to the cycles of samsara. There is no opportunity to learn how to care for others because everyone is just dandy. True wisdom and compassion are simply not needed.

In each realm the Buddha takes a different form, always trying to do something helpful. In the god realm, all the Buddha can do is hang out and play a musical instrument. There is almost no point in trying to teach because there is no interest.

If you’ve ever had a day (or a moment) in your life when everything fell into place effortlessly, this can give some idea of what it feels like to enter the god realm. Celebrity and influencer culture is really good at pretending to depict the god realm and suggesting outfits, face creams, day planners, gut biome solutions, and financial strategies to help you get there.

It seems that some people really do live there! At least by outward appearances. They’re rich, beautiful, accomplished, beloved. There actually are such people.

THE JEALOUS GOD REALM

This realm is inhabited by beings who are also quite powerful and well-resourced but whatever they have is NOT ENOUGH. They are angry at being only jealous gods, not full gods and are obsessed with more power, more wealth, and more influence, all of which they already have in endless supply. Still, they do not believe that they have their fair share and so wage war to get what the other jealous gods have. The warfare never ends because there is never a moment deemed a win. There is always another battle to wage.

Here too there is almost no likelihood of becoming liberated from samsara because all the focus is on filling one’s own coffers in order to conquer and own samsara instead.

Hmmm. Can we think of any people who fit this description?! More on that below.

THE HUMAN REALM

This is where we, you and I, actually reside. This is the lucky realm, y’all. It is the only one with a workable ratio of suffering:ease. Although we certainly experience devastation and rage and extraordinary loss here in the human realm, we also have what is necessary to study the dharma; the basics: a place to live, food to eat, and some sense of support. We are not fighting every single day for survival, although some days (weeks, months, years) it may feel and be that way. Still, we have the right ratio, or at least experience times where this is true. Too much pain, and we can’t focus on our journey. Too much ease, and we feel no inspiration to do so. Out of all the realms, it is this combination that gives us the best chance to pass through the door of complete liberation—and thus be able to help others to do so as well.

In this realm, the Buddha appeared as a fellow human and gave teachings directly.

THE ANIMAL REALM

There is a beautiful, long-haired, grown-up stray black cat who lives in my neighborhood and often visits my backyard, possibly because I leave food and water for them (not sure of preferred pronouns). I adore this cat. I long to pet this cat. I can tell that this cat wants to be loved but has no idea how that even happens. He gives me long looks and rubs against the door frame but runs off when I get too close. I desperately wish he could come into the human realm where there would be so many snacks, so much petting, and a choice of cozy places to sleep safely. (It makes me cry each time I feel that I just cannot accomplish this.) When he eats the food I put out, he takes a bite, looks frantically around, takes another bite or two, looks frantically around, etc, etc, repeat, repeat. Of course. In this world, vigilance is the mechanism of survival.

The animal realm is a place of fear and incessant watchfulness. Good days are when you can just space out and stare into space. So there is only being afraid and not being afraid. With so few options, there is no vision or capacity to understand the what, where, why, how of reality.

I have no doubt that we all know what this realm feels like. I think I was there several times this morning.

THE HUNGRY GHOST REALM

This realm is said to be inhabited by beings with teeny-tiny mouths, narrow necks, and enormous bellies which can never, ever be filled because the means of entry are just not up to the job. There is perpetual hunger and dissatisfaction. If you’ve ever felt that no matter how much you eat, how much love you receive, how many likes your posts get, or how much money you earn, you will never be satiated, then you know what it feels like to be a hungry ghost.

THE HELL REALM

This is the place of only suffering, nothing else. We taste the hell realm (or realms, because this cosmology depicts a variety of hells) when our hearts are shattered, great disasters occur, or we cannot escape our own rage.

NOW WHAT?

Okay, what does this all have to do with the rage and anxiety so many of us feel in the face of the Trumpist takeover? Why is it so hard to gain any sense of traction in the fight against hatred, stupidity, patriarchy-related entitlement, short-sightedness, self-righteousness, maniacal institution smashing, and obvious cruelty? I mean, it seems clear that these are the forces at work.

The realms do not necessarily explain how to quell our fear and outrage (both of which are quite well-placed) but they do offer some insight into the forces at work and what we might do to counterbalance. Note 3: It’s a dharma marathon, not a dharma sprint.

It seems we are witnessing a battle of jealous gods. The only thing that matters is so-called “winning.” Every idea, every day, every moment is a battle, a win or a loss, simply another chance to wage war through weapons of domination, aggression, and destruction. Each jealous god will insist on your fealty.

My friends. Let us not fall for choosing sides between them. They do not care about you or me. Instead, let us choose ourselves and each other. (Cue a jealous god who will tell you how naive and stupid this is. It is not.)

Note 4: The red flag that we’ve fallen into the delusion of the jealous gods’ offered choices should be when we feel that we know something that others do not; that our side is the right one and everyone else is wrong, or that we are simply victims without recourse; and, of course, in any circumstance where murder and mayhem seem justifiable. Please do not enter this realm.

We cannot fight jealous gods with human realm weapons. Such weapons include legislation, marches, activism, academia, common sense, relationship skills, superior verbal prowess, and logic. These may be extremely valuable, but they don’t play in the jealous god realm.

So now what? How do we refrain from entering? How do we relate to the vast sorrows? Through mindfulness-awareness. Through clear-seeing. Turning within and feeling into the extraordinary heartbreak that arises from acknowledging the human condition. Through choosing wakefulness again and again by becoming as consistent as possible in our meditation practice. This opening to ourselves and others helps us remain human and, right now, to remain human—open hearted, clear headed, grief stricken, music loving, loving-loving, powerful, laughing, sobbing, dreaming; committed to this world and each other—is of tremendous importance.

This is a view no jealous god would ever espouse and when we are tempted to pick up their weapons (propaganda, warfare, rage, cornering influence), we can be dissuaded and thus stay focused on deeper values. They cannot.

Household by household, neighborhood by neighborhood, conversation by conversation, we can strengthen the human realm. We can work with our hearts and minds, not at the expense of the suffering that is being caused right now but to hold ourselves steady to fight the good fight with power and discernment, to be of benefit, and to share our sanity with others.

You may guess what I’m going to say next because it’s basically my favorite thing to say: don’t take my word for this. Or anything. Think about it yourself and see what you discover. The teachings only come to life when you bring them into your unique inner world and weigh them against your actual experience. You must draw your own conclusions.

During more conventional times, I would say that simply having a steady (or steady-ish) meditation practice is enough. It will rouse the more common results of meditation: stress-reduction, becoming more patient, less easily triggered, nicer, and so on. These are great things. But these are not conventional times and more is needed–more magic, more auspicious coincidence, more depth, more mystery, more life force, and less conventionality: the esoteric fruits of a deepening practice.

It is not just about sitting on the cushion for 5 or 10 or 45 minutes and then going into your life. Please do sit for 5 or 10 or 45 minutes; it will enrich your life. But also begin to dismantle any barriers between what you do on the cushion and what you do everywhere else. Bring the mind of meditation with you. We are seeking to discover all the ways in which our homes, relationships, jobs, money, and art are practice; everything from the way we keep house to the way we express our love to each other. In this way, we focus, not only on defeating enemies but on strengthening allies.

Living this way is called the path of the householder. My intention with these writings and the Open Heart Project altogether is to explore this path further with you as I discover it myself.

Love you, Susan

PS Please consider joining the Open Heart Project sangha to keep the conversation going.

categorized in: meditation