Tracy Serros
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I was a bit intimidated by the idea of creating a shrine, but I decided to just jump in with what I could find. And like several others in our Saturday morning group, I realized I’ve sort of made tiny shrines around my house just by how I decorate and things I’ve collected. So it wasn’t hard to find things I wanted to include, and I made a small shrine in the area where I meditate. I often meditate at work, and I’ve been thinking about adding a shrine to my desk area, but so far, I now have a candle. Even that makes me feel a bit more elevated in my practice. Along with asking for blessings, which is also new to me, I feel that I’m sitting down with a bit more dignity and purpose. But I’m not sure my actual meditation has changed at all. That part still feels the same, which is noisy lately. Interestingly, my mind has been feeling less noisy off the cushion, more spacious.
I am currently reading Chogyam Trungpa’s teachings on Hinayana, The Path of Individual Liberation. One thing that has really struck me in the reading so far is the idea of seeing things as they truly are, that the dharma of every thing is just what it is. (I’m paraphrasing, and hopefully not misconstruing things too terribly.) This idea has really been sticking with me lately beyond meditation, trying to see things just as they are and not attaching stories or reactivity. It’s also really heightened my awareness that I’m barely able to take in much of what’s happening or present at any given moment. I’m very unaware. I find the idea of seeing how the world really works fascinating. I have no idea how to do it.
I think I find Mahayana in sangha. Both in our Saturday meeting this morning and in other sanghas I’ve attended, there’s a sense of commonality of human experience and also a real felt sense of compassion and open heartedness that is amazing and transcendent. Also, Susan said in the reading, “On the absolute plane, love and compassion manifest as emptiness.” I find this simultaneously terrifying and liberating. It makes sense to me on some level I can’t articulate.
I have less of a sense of Vajrayana, but I am very intrigued. “To walk this path requires continual letting go of concepts, ideas, judgments, and thoughts and plunging yourself into a state of groundlessness and, somehow, stabilizing yourself there.” Yes! Groundlessness, the middle path. Neither here nor there, but not not here and not not there. (Again, paraphrasing, and perhaps badly.) This too, yes.
Hello, just seeing this – sorry for the late post. My name is Tracy Serros. I live in San Jose, CA, and I teach high school science. I’ve been receiving Susan’s weekly emails and dabbling in meditation for many years. I recently have felt called to commit more deeply to the practice and to learn more about Buddhist teachings, and this course kind of fell in my lap at the perfect time. I appreciate the opportunity to practice in community and to learn.