Toni Gatlin
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I’m also in a “listening” role and agree that the temptation to “help” is so very real. Releasing that (I love your labeling technique here!) and instead quietly supporting agency and self-discovery is the goal.
The use of the word discovery implies that the end result might be a surprise: discovery, by definition, means to make visible something that was previously unknown to us. It’s important to have curiosity and humility, and to hold outcomes loosely.
Seeking discovery with a curious, open-hearted approach allows for the following of unexpected paths. We don’t know exactly where a trail might lead or what we’ll meet along the way, but curiosity keeps us open to exploring and finding out.
In a similar vein, discovery requires adopting a posture of humility. Arrogance does not foster an atmosphere conducive to being challenged or create a willingness to wrestle with an unexpected result; rather, it (thinks that it) knows best, has anticipated all outcomes, and is incapable of being surprised. Discovery grounded in humility allows the searcher to live in reality, staying with what is rather than clinging to a preconceived expectation.
The twin tools of curiosity and humility would also serve leaders well. As a meditation teacher–a path-walker myself who is a companion for someone else on their own path– I must continually recognize both that I’m not in charge and that I can’t possibly know everything about another person and their journey. My role is to support their self-discernment and foster the quality of agency as they travel a path that might be very different from my own. Staying open and curious about differing understandings and experiences can allow me to partake in and grow from the discoveries of another.