Susan Picascia
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Hi Liana and Melanie, I, too, am aware of “hyper-awareness” and appreciate Melanie labeling this experience. Labeling this behavior gives me insight into the feeling of “anxiety.” Thank you.
Yes, Melanie. Reframe anxiety into excitement and we can enjoy ourselves. I am all for that! Thank you
I felt anxiety and shyness and a lack of confidence entering this experiential opportunity. So, as the antidote to these feelings, I thought about the big picture.
This opportunity is the first in a developmental process that will build over time to strengthen my meditation abilities, to deepen an embodied practice, and to develop a personal style of teaching within a clear container. I took a student/learning view. What helped was to move out of a competitive mind (so many in our group are knowledgeable), out of perfect or even good enough (the evaluative mind) and move into learning mind. My focus then became streamlined to simply: follow Susan’s instructions. Body, breath, mind. Start with the feet. Lean, instructional, be the way. Then I wrote it all down and practiced a few times reading it out loud. And, with Melanie as my partner, it was easy to feel safe and to relax. Thank you, Melanie, for your warmth and openness. The “beginners mind” really helped me enjoy the opportunity.Hi Mike,
The respect you have for your lineage/teachings/teachers (past and present) shows thru in what you write here. It sounds like you chant alone at your own place? The guitar (which looks beautiful), I’m assuming means your musical. It has never occurred to me to chant on my own. I have only chanted in Sangha….I will try it!Thanks also for your sincerity here.
My study of Buddhism began at San Francisco Zen Center Green Gulch Farm with the teachers who were students of Suzuki Roshi – the founder. The lineage for me is as much a place as it is the teachers. Green Gulch Farm in Marin county Northern California has the land of a spiritual place and I was as much drawn to the land as the teachers: Linda Cutts, Norman Fisher, Edward Espe Brown, Mel Weitsman, Reb Anderson…..sitting with these teachers in the beautiful Zendo in high formal zen ritual moves me still. I have had many retreats on this beautiful land in which I found comfort and growth and the feeling of “home.” Being a student of Buddhism gave me a path for living a good life. It has not disappointed. Out of a need to have a more local Sangha (I live in Los Angeles), I now study Tibetan Buddhism, Kagyu lineage, Vajrayana tradition with Sylvia Bercovici as the teacher. And now this study with Susan as Teacher. Both these teachers bring Buddhism to everyday life. This lineage is new to me and foreign. I am learning so much! My cultural lineage is very much tied to “La Familia” of Italian American culture and the Catholic faith. The food is good if cooked with heart and pleasure. The deep connection here is the maternal lineage of Matilda Bertolone my grandmother. So much learned from this teacher-including the methodical,focused attention of making ravioli from scratch or singing and dancing with a tambourine having fun. On my shrine are the symbols of all the meaningful evocative objects of love in my life. And, now having the opportunity to read the responses from all of you about your lives, I see even more how to appreciate love and lineage…..
Thank you, Liana, for reminding me of my maternal grandmother as lineage. I dedicate merit to her and ask for blessings regularly and hope I follow her foot steps. However, I had not thought of her specifically as my lineage. But, of course, it is clear she is! “My hearts lineage” – beautiful.
Hi Rosie,
Yes! I recognize all the lineage teachers you mention in the Jewish/Buddhist tradition because I started studying with the San Francisco Zen Center with Linda Cutts, Edward Espe Brown, and Norman Fisher as lineage teachers over time. As you refer to the lineage, I felt at home with your history. Very fun!
Hi Kimberly,
Beautiful description of your journey. I am moved by how over time your spaciousness and deepening of a spiritual life unfolded. I identify with this movement-especially “a practice, a technique and much more to learn.” What a comfort Buddhism is……
I grew up Italian Catholic (the East coast version transplanted to CA). The eternalist view of belief in God, Father Almighty, original sin (bad pretty much no matter what you do) and peace in heaven when you die or torture in hell after death or a long stay in purgatory all shaped me. I could never identify with a GOD in heaven running the show. However, I did experience the grace of the Virgin Mary and the companionship of a God. Mostly, what eternalism provided for me was company in the world and a place I could ask for help, in a lonely childhood. In my early teens, I discovered Existentialism through reading Sartre, Camus, Nietzsche. The idea of nothingness and the despair of that idea opened the door to the study of Buddhism. And, here I am continuing to study Buddhism and continuing to deepen my understanding of this very question we are answering in the prompt. It’s hard for me to explain or put into words how my understanding of the hopefulness in Buddhism became known to me. I did see despair in the beginning learning stages. The only words would be borrowed by teachers but here is the best I can do on my own: we really can’t imagine life after death because this transformation takes place on planes unknown (unless one has had an “awe” experience that reveals…..and, Yet,I have sat enough with old age, illness, death to know the mystery and magic of it all makes me open and curious and confident we are all one in universal energy.
Dear Vy,
I respect your journey to “more comfortable with uncertainty, mystery, magic.” I waver in that comfort and can be scarred by the unknowns ahead. Of course, I am not afraid of “good” unknowns-just the “bad” unknowns!! LOLDear Melanie,
I resonate with This draw toward Buddhism you discovered by the “through-thread.” The philosophy aspects of Buddhism provide a home for those of us who do not want to practice a “religion,” yet, want guiding principles for living a good life or better life. I am moved by your lack of despair and trust in the path. Thank you
Hi Natalie, I like all you have said, especially remembering to remember to trust the inherent wisdom in all of us. I would add for myself, mind, heart and gut (inherent) wisdom work in union at my best.
Hi Vy, simple straightforward map you have outlined. I like it!!
Supporting discovery engages a stance of being curious (not acting curious) even in silence. The mindfulness of being present to the reality right there in front of us-not past or future. Not easy to do. The tools I have practiced developing over many years with study and good teachers and am still developing include: open hearted/open minded (no judgments along with “we don’t know mindset” and not adding to the story; flexibility; immersion into direct experience; adaptation; adjustment. And, of course, doing my best to practice the myriad of ways Buddhism provides a map on discovering our own mind. As we know, a Lifelong journey. Not boring! At a recent retreat at Vajravida in Crestone, CO, the teacher used the simple/powerful words “no doubt.” Return to the breath with “no doubt.” This container has opened me up.
Hello everyone!
I am excited to join the Meditation Teacher Training with all of you and our Teacher Susan.
My name is Susan Picascia
Email : susanpicascia@icloud.com
Mobile: 818-268-2281
