Dawa
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Essay Q week 1: Reflect on what it means to support discovery. What are the primary tools?
I think the primary tools are non-judgement and a beginner’s mind. Containment is certainly also useful.
In the field I practice in now, I operate from the maxim “Meet people where they are.” and I offer primarily listening. What trips me up most often is a desire to help…to have answers…and to want something for the other person. The judgement comes in when what I feel myself wanting for them is “better” than where they are where I find them. I use the meditative approach of labelling here…and I call this HELPING. I will often stay quiet or pose a possibility …as a question. Allowing the other (Student?, client?) to generate things for themselves (OR NOT) is important. Essentially I take the belief we are all recovering co-dependants… and from this approach, the ceasing of wanting to better/correct/fix/help…is when I practice containment myself, professionally. If we can take the approach that everyone knows best for themselves, we are all on an individual journey, and someone else’s journey is none of our business… as antithetical to Teaching as this may sound… I think this is where we can really support the most organic of discovery. I think the very best Sherpas point & carry the bags — aka give direction and lighten the load.Oh Jersey! What a sharing this was for you…thanks! The monkey mind can really take us for a ride huh? I think I can be a very efficient planner sometimes during a sit… less a great meditator! Entire holidays are planned, conversations had (what witty comebacks!), etc…For me too, this reminder (and veritable “get out of jail free” card) of treating this ‘wander’ as ‘thinking’ and waking up again…as a win every time… is so sweet.
Hey Andrew. I see what you are saying here. I read confidence as you have explained it in fact. I have witnessed a real judgement of self…almost a little shame (lack of worthiness one can ‘do this right’) in some of my clients as a Counsellor, and it always takes a lot of energy for me to contain the cheerleader in me… I almost want to lend my own confidence for the other. Then, it’s safety |& compassion (and yes, egoless-ness!) that have me come back to wanting for the client what they want… rather than what I want for them. What an emotional merry-go-round this can be.