Pam Nicholls
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Dear Sue, Anna, Tracy and Betsy,
Just a quick note to say that your writings are lovely, inspiring, helpful! Thank you.
I’ll report back on what actions I get it together to take, in the midst of all of the aimless wandering.
Hearing the field of flowers sing! What joy!
Sending love to each of you –Anna, thank you for writing your story here, and for modeling your real-life under-pressure turn toward the teachings. Inspiring.
I wonder if you or the situation somehow magnetized the contributions of the mechanic, your friend, and whatsapp. Hm.
So glad you’re okay!I can be very resistant to what is happening, and can contribute to hard times because I’m not willing to be with what is. This happened a few days ago, for example. Over the course of an hour or more, while I was doing some gardening, my beloved dog frantically ate grass. I realized that she was likely to vomit, so took her for a long walk waiting for that to happen. While walking I was so mad! I didn’t want to have to deal with this inconvenience. I had things I wanted to do! She musn’t vomit inside, because I’m a guest in the home of some friends and don’t want to harm their rugs! Sure enough, as soon as we walked inside, she vomited copiously. I was so mad while cleaning up! Grrr you are a bad dog! Later she keeled over on the floor, was unable to stand or use her legs, and couldn’t focus her eyes because they kept flipping back and forth. We ended up spending 5 or 6 hours at the emergency vet. Turns out that the frantic need to eat grass and then to vomit like crazy was a sign of nausea that later exploded into vertigo (“old dog idiopathic vestibular disease”). I couldn’t have prevented what turned out to be a very frightening night. But if I had been willing to observe and be with what was happening, I could have enriched the situation early on, offering comfort and compassion both to Maisy and myself. Aww darn it.
Each of these essays is wonderful. Thank you, writers.
I’m inspired to learn more about the Buddha families, understanding that this might help me see more clearly, and better understand my responses.
Sue Ellen’s description of viewing her beloved Alaskan site describes how I feel when I’m by the Bay – an experience I longed for each day when I moved away for a few years. And Fern Canyon . . . I visited a Fern Canyon in Prairie Creek Redwoods State Park – in 1978 – and can still feel the experience of its excessive -!- beauty. And Japan! Gotta go.Hi Sue Ellen, Your insights are moving; thank you.
When you repeated “the mantra that calms all suffering” were you using the words “OÎ GATE GATE PÅRAGATE PÅRASAÎGATE BODHI SVÅHÅ”? [Pardon the odd cut-and-paste.] How wonderful that you found relief!
I will try this when a period of not being able to stop fretting arises. So many opportunities . . .I read the Heart Sutra a few times, both along with the recording of Susan reading it in class and on my own.
The vibrations of this sustained drone are a physical pleasure. I’ve been droning since I was little — deep toning for long durations. There’s something powerful about the vibrations, for sure.
I read the Heart Sutra in the company of aged oaks and redwoods.
After the first couple of times, it struck me: These are the words of trees, spoken to the rooted ones and their companions! Not spoken to humans!
As if the Sutra were describing the high state of plants, fungi, moss, and other life forms.
Having this thought was very pleasurable.
I realize that’s who I most wish to hear from.
I like the Heart Sutra, the so-many beautiful words (Shariputra! Avalokiteshvara! etc.) and the description of everyone’s excitement. I don’t know whether it will become part of my path. I have found other mantras to be powerful along the way, getting me through various hard times. Those have been short, repeatable (108 times . . . ), and fathomable.Thanke, Anna, this is clarifying, and inspiring.
Do you think that “Bodichitta” is equivalent to “the point of Buddhist teachings”? Or is it one part of the teachings?
I’m thinking that the point of practicing, studying, and being in Sangha is to see ourselves as we are and make peace with it, and to extend compassion to self and others — as you say here.
What an honorable goal.
This is Relative — in relation to self and others, yes? Not Absolute, where boundaries dissolve.
Writing in the most excellent company of a Steller’s Jay and an Oregon Junco.What is the difference between Relative and Ultimate Bodhicitta?
Bodhichitta seems to be about cultivating or being with love and compassion, toward ourselves and others.
Relative Bodhicitta is more everyday/”real life.” How to behave in order to be of significant service to others — alleviating suffering, our own and others’. To cultivate Relative Bodhicitta we can observe the Six Paramitas — challenging, beautiful teachings. I understand that Lovingkindness practices have this purpose too.
Ultimate Bodhicitta seems like getting beyond duality. To move toward Ultimate Bodhicitta, we can turn to an inexplicable text, The Heart Sutra.
More on all this, coming our way.I’ve been having vivid thoughts and feelings arising from reading Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche’s words about the Paramita of Generosity.
Of late, Trump and Musk arise as figures who lack generosity, and if they were to do the work of cultivating generosity all would benefit. These people, and others involved, may have never picked up after themselves, much less acted as caregiver for a child, disabled loved one, elder, beloved dog or cat, any being approaching death and dying.
Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche’s words about mothers remind me of this. There seems to be an assumption that we the readers/listeners haven’t served as mothers ourselves, or other types of caregivers. Hello. I wonder whether Generosity is Paramita #1 because the speaker and the assumed audience are unfamiliar with caregiving, and may have to work at addressing the reality of other beings whose needs . . . matter.
While I can do much better, I don’t think Generosity is my point of growth. Patience seems more like it. Not so much to deal with aggression in myself and others. More, to closely observe and tolerate my ping-ponging between “I want this to change!” and “I hope this never changes!”
Oh to be able to sing with John Lennon – “I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round, I really love to watch them roll. No longer riding on the merry-go-round — I just had to let it go.”Tracy, thank you for telling us about your suffering, and your surprising experience of peace arising from staying with your feelings of terror. It appears that the 90 seconds that an emotion lasts — so we’re told — will need to be stayed-with, over and over and over again.
Yes, like Sue Ellen said, we’re all walking this valley. Your stories will help me in this very elusive, counter-intuitive effort to stay put, stop with the stories, feel it . . . Just merge.May we please discuss this in class?
From this week’s reading, The Buddha’s Noble First Teaching, by Tulku Thondup Rinpoche“In tantric, or Vajrayana, Buddhism the followers do not avoid or subdue emotional afflictions or negative energies and situations. Instead the emphasis is on accepting and transforming them as the fuel of the wisdom energy. These followers are like those who skillfully transform the poisonous tree into medicinal substances, which they use for good health and energy.”
How is this transformation accomplished? Through not resisting the emotional afflictions or negative energies and situations? Through acceptance does the transformation happen by itself, or are there skills needed to make this happen?
Susan taught us that the first item on the Eightfold Path, Right View, is the big one.
Right View is seeing the true nature of existence. Right Intention is consonant with right view, and the others on the list of Eight arise organically from these two. Those are the words, yes?
I don’t quite get this Right View business, and I’m going to wrestle with it a bit here. Thanks for your patience.
Is Right View remembering the 4 Reminders – that our lives are precious and extremely hard to find; whatever is born is impermanent and will die; Karma is real; the 3 realms of Samsara, past present, future, are an ocean of suffering.
Or, is Right View the first 3 Noble Truths: Life is unsatisfying; the cause of suffering is grasping; the cessation of suffering is accomplished by not grasping.
Accept that everything is impermanent. Change happens; no surprise.
There are some elements in there about all phenomena being interdependent. We all, all shape each other.
I notice in and around me (thank you Sangha) the growing Intention to be aware of all these things. There are opportunities to practice all day long.
Is this Right View? How might I and we better understand it?I am talking with my teacher and friend Gary Shepherd. He was a manifestation of love. We worked together at the Shanti Project in San Francisco. Gary died in 2012.
P: Gary I miss you. And in some ways you’re right here with me.
G: Yes. And your love is with me. And laughter! High spirits.
P: You offer me the example of keeping your heart open, and then more open, in times of pain and suffering. You taught others to do this — in service to people with terminal illness, and explicitly in service to themselves.
To what end, Gary, keeping the heart open and feeling the anguish and terror?G: Strong question. We see people closing their hearts, battening down the hatches, all around. Twas ever thus. So much pain, and fear of pain, aversion to pain.
To what end sit with the anguish and terror? For love. For laughter! And the capacity to be of service.
It all matters. Your life matters. When you laugh with the bookstore workers. When you listen to your friend’s confusion. When you stand and say “NO” to the fossil fuel companies.P: One way you were of service was the many years you provided emotional support to people through their illness and dying. The AIDS crisis, in San Francisco, in the ‘80s and ‘90s. That was a horror. You were a great teacher in the midst of it.
G: In many ways it was. We had enemies in addition to the virus. People who were willing for us to die, even thought we deserved these deaths. But we loved each other. We loved ourselves. Our hearts broke. Great love was generated. And we changed the world.
And didn’t we have a good time, too.
Those lives, and deaths, have meaning and consequence.P: Gary, your life vividly mattered. Does my life matter? Right now, does sitting silently matter?
G: Oh your life definitely matters, and always has. That’s not going to change as you age. Much is yet to come.
I want you to know that I wasn’t scared when I was in the hospital, when I was dying. Unexpectedly. And I wasn’t scared. I can’t promise this for you, but I encourage you to be open and present for it all.P: Gary. I have heard this, and it comforts my broken heart.
G: I feel your love. Let your light shine Pammie. No “hiding that light under a bushel.” I’m here loving you.
Hi Rachel, What a great description of the process of figuring out what will belong in your shrine. Unsettled, with potential. And already feeling a difference, or multiple differences. There is wisdom afoot. Powerful!
“Sitting down with a bit more dignity and purpose.” That feels significant. Like, it matters. We keep getting the message that our sitting matters. Even if it’s the same old noisy mind. Thanks for the idea of adding a candle to your work desk, in addition to the shrine in your home meditation area. Sending a message of support to your self (and appreciation for those in your lineage?). Thanks Tracy