Clif Cannon
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I do feel prepared to teach meditation – while I have been offering meditation instruction in my coaching work with caregivers, cancer survivors, teams and executives for years, I am always practicing/learning/teaching. While I may gain some mastery, the first step in knowing, is to recognize my own not knowing. So, I feel with this training and technique, I am more prepared with new tools, practices and techniques, to offer meditation instruction. Nothing is missing, and there is always more to learn in each experience.
Thank you, Toni. I love your awareness of the “both/and” – yes, ready to teach and open to learning and wisdom. Not knowing, is the first step – I have been told, to learning. Thank you for sharing.
Money is so fascinating – a collective belief (there’s no absolute value to currency, other than that we all agree that it IS something). And that construct leads to, or at least taps into deep emotions, greed, hate, and ignorance – of both Teacher and Student.
When money comes into play, the question of price and value come arises – price is what I pay, value is what I get. Value in the mind of the meditation teacher may be much different than that of a new student or practitioner. On one hand the meditation teacher may see their practice as connected through a long and rich tradition and spiritual journey. The new meditation student may see it as an uncomfortable period of (endless 20 minutes) and think “I’m PAYING for this?!” It can quickly become transactional rather than relational in the Teacher/Student relationship.
I am comfortable seeing that offering one’s mastery and expertise is worthy of compensation as a form (as mentioned before) of energy exchange. As a coach, I understand that what I bring may not be “value” in a transactional sense – I do this, you get that. The “value trap” is a trap we can fall into, and that seems like we might be able to fall into in meditation instruction. We provide intentional, true instruction and guidance, the value is what the Student “discovers.”
It seems a clear understanding and discernment – this is what I am offering as Teacher, what are you looking for as Student? Do these meet? The risk in charging is that we have a monetary interest in the Student remaining our Student so that they pay us. This creates a natural tension and possible point of conflict.
Clarity is kind, I agree. And one’s true heart must be clear of intentions and motivations when charging for practices on the spiritual path. Naropa took Milarepa’s gold dust – demanded all of it, and then threw it all on the floor.
Thank you, Rosie. The middle way resonates, and responds to circumstances as they arise – it seems like a stance (that can move and adapt) rather than a fixed rule “I do/don’t charge.” This makes a lot of sense combined with mind/heart.
Kat, thanks for sharing your thoughts and heart – I especially resonate with “allow money to be a friendly support that is part of all that good stuff arising.”
Hi Elizabeth. Thank you for sharing this – I have a similar chapter in my business career (I was a reluctant “sales” person (smile)) until I realized that it was THIS position, with THIS company, with THIS boss that I thought, oh this is something interesting and unique, and “oh, yeah. It happens to be a sales role.”
I love that you point to a mutual willingness and “offering” of that willingness by teach and student (teacher may be circumstances) to make a successful start and path together. So important. Thank you. 🙏
Hi. Thank you for sharing your experience – I love the part “I realize that what I loved the most about it were the relationships that I formed.” This really resonates. The intimacy we can develop in the relationships of a class or learning experience are contextualized or related to the journey we share. It enhances the “lessons.”
A favorite Indigenous American quote seems to point to this “we were together, I forget the rest.” It’s not that we “forget” the lessons or the point of the class or experience, but we realize that it is the “being together” that makes the journey and learning worthwhile. The intimacy (in-to-me-see) is the glue that makes the learning stick and offers the deeper lessons and practical application in our relationships.
Thank you. 🙏
One of my first optimal learning experiences didn’t feel like it at the time – it was an opportunity to run a fitness center in a famous ski resort town. The owner and I worked closely together, side-by-side, in turning around an aging facility and developing a strong local following, with relevant and responsive programming, and facilities (we installed the first rock-climbing wall in the valley). The containment of the magic was a shared focus and passion for the facility itself, the members, and the Colorado ski town vibe and life. We were in it – the practical aspects were the “practice” (I see now) of cleaning, steam room mechanics, sump pump and electrical repairs, hiring/firing staffing and relationships, and being ultimately fully immersed in the experience. The struggle was my own “ego-identity” about “if I am the manager, why AM I scrubbing the toilets!?” My relationship with my business-friend, and the warmth and collaboration we shared, transformed the daily, mundane, and chores into something more with meaning and purpose. It was a magical chapter of learning and has informed me since.
Less ideal? There have been a few (smile). Mostly the common themes have been a lack of establishing a container, lacking clarity AND connection in the outcomes of the “learning journey”. How can magic happen if there is no container, or often the case, the container is not an agreed upon or defined (explicit) container between teacher and learner/class? We achieve through relationship.
One of my most challenging learning environments was at Upaya Zen Center in their chaplaincy program. There was a firm structure – assignments, calendar, program, mentors, reading lists, etc. But there was an absence of relationship from the Teachers. Now, part of that might be Zen (smile). But the “warm hand to warm hand” transmission (often cited) was missing for me. That was incongruent and ultimately, not sustainable for me. There was also a clear hierarchy, which was said to not exist, but clearly did. So, there was a “gaslighty” feel to it. Where the container is not established, or overly established as to one side (teacher or student), where these is no meeting of hearts and minds, then learning cannot happen. What is the shared journey? There is a need to “keep it light and tight” as a colleague-collaborator has named it.
Thank you Virginia, for sharing your story – not too loose, not too tight. What a great reminder. Trusting yourself and the client to meet what arises invites so much possibility, unseen before you join together.
Jersey, thank you for doing this Good Work. As a gay man, I am grateful and reminded repeatedly, that there are so many more untold stories at the intersection of AIDS and Life. 🙏
I love “my money’s on you….” what a skillful, beautiful gift, a loving “boundaried response” that returns the empowerment, support and choice, gently and firmly right back to your client. Beautiful.
My beloved Stepdad, Tom, who was a physician and charming man, used to say “I know a ‘good line’ when I steal one.” (smile) I guess I do too. 🙏 You’re teaching me. Thank you.
I like this topic a lot, as it seems a skill that we are challenged, again and again, to answer for ourselves in our lives, relationships, and work (however one might define each of these). As an executive leadership and team coach, I encounter this regularly – how do I remain open, available, warm and engaged, while also keeping the clients’ outcome front and center? How do I bring myself fully (authenticity), and not lose myself (merge) or separate myself (disconnect) with my client? How do we do Good Work together?
I believe being wholly present and authentic is not only possible, but is necessary to be effective (here, in meditation instruction, but applicable in other arenas of our lives) and that it is through our relationship intelligence and awareness we can embody this. All 8 billion of us humans, Brené Brown offers, are seeking two things: connection and belonging. There are at least 80 billion ways of what connection and belonging might look like, and we don’t and couldn’t possibly know them all, or even necessarily know them for the person right in front of us. But, through our own sense of connection and belonging, to ourselves, to our practice, to the Buddha, the Dharma, and Sangha, and through connection with the person in front of us, we are able to be our natural, authentic, warm selves as teachers for others. Through our own sense of connection and belonging, we are able to “take our seat” and from that seat hold our own Basic Goodness, warmth and radiance, and to be available to the other, while not losing our seat.
I’ve had many experiences, “experiments” and teachers from my clients, and peer-coaches who have helped me develop this sense (smile). As a new coach 15 years ago, I met with a new client, and after following intake and credentialed guidelines, we had a very good coaching session. He was coachable, engaged, and we agreed to set up our next appointment. He would reach out to schedule a session. A day went by, and I didn’t hear from him. Then a couple of days, still no word. By day three I was checking the obituaries, and googling him online: had he had a car accident, had he died, did he actually hate the session and was calling my supervising coach, what catastrophe MUST have taken place that he had not called? Somehow, I had become too wrapped up in my own importance, and possible impact, with my client. I had lost sight of who the client was and whose “story” and life we were working with. In that sense, I had lost the thread. I caught myself (Day 4?) and realized I had absolutely no idea what might be going on in his life and why or why not he had not called to schedule our next session. I had lost my seat. I remember this story years later, and chuckle to myself, but not without remembering the lesson. As a coach, or meditation teacher I must be present in my role, and that being warm, skillful and available meant that we DID do Good Work together. We both felt and appreciated it. But, in losing my seat, and being unskillful (trying to take care of him) I risked losing my effectiveness. Whether he called back or not was wholly within his “role” and timing as client, not mine. There was no accident. No catastrophe. He was busy, or traveling, or with traveling with his kids. He called back the following week.
Thank you Elizabeth, for sharing your journey. I am a “child of, and a product of divorce(s)” – and there could be a whole class “Paramitas & Divorce” (smile). Divorce is an incredible practice area, and I hear from what you have shared, that you are in your practices in the real-life-circumstance of coming together and falling apart of relationship (Pema Chödron, When Things Fall Apart). Whether chosen or not, it is courageous to meet it with a (shambhala) warrior’s spirit. I hear that in you. (if you’d like to connect to discuss, please reach out).
Colin, thank you for your reflection and your insights. A powerful journey of awareness. I found myself thinking of the compassion you have for your “wanting,” and how that now informs your generosity – for having deeply known wanting, you might now also know (with compassion – to suffer with) the place of the Other, and know how deeply impactful your generosity might be.