Kate Wolfe-Jenson

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  • in reply to: Week Two Essay #79094
    Kate Wolfe-Jenson
    Participant

    (sorry, this got put in the wrong place and it I don’t know how to shift it) Thanks, Dominic. I agree that it’s hard to write about ONE Noble truth because they are so intertwined. My condolences on the loss of your mum. I can hear, in your essay, how huge that was for you. Not wanting to feel what we feel makes it so much more powerful! You are right: she lives on through you and your memories. I am glad you have found a measure of peace.

    in reply to: Week Two Essay #78944
    Kate Wolfe-Jenson
    Participant

    Karen, thank you for being brave and vulnerable telling us about your divorce. It sounds like a painful time, but it sounds like you have gained wisdom from it. That is part of Tulku Thondup Rinpoche’s “medicine,” I think. We are all searching for safety, love, and belonging. We want to hang on to whatever we find and not let go, even if it is madness.
    Yes, the second Noble truth is both “terrible and wonderful.” It sets us on the path and our own minds give us content with which to work. We are like the miller’s daughter in Rumpelstiltskin, sitting down at our spinning wheels to change straw into gold.

    in reply to: Week Two Essay #78919
    Kate Wolfe-Jenson
    Participant

    Our dominant culture would like us to believe that if we have a beautiful, healthy body and the right personality, then we will have lots of friends, a great career, a lovely place to live, and therefore we will be happy. If we are not happy and/or don’t have one of those “right” things, the solution is only a few purchases away. So, lost in confusion, we strive to get the right stuff and be the right people. It’s The American Dream.

    I certainly bought into the dream as a young adult. That’s why it was so devastating to be diagnosed with multiple sclerosis when I was 20. At that time, MS was incurable and untreatable. (Now there are “disease modifying” medications that may save people from the worst of it.) Having a chronic – and in my case gradually paralyzing – illness was the “first arrow” of suffering. Every time I had a physical flareup, I felt grief, anger and fear. I thought since I couldn’t be healthy, there was no way I could be happy. Trapped in thoughts and emotions I didn’t want, I got depressed. My response to illness was the “second arrow” of suffering.

    Into this madness, the first two Noble truths of the Buddha cut like vinegar through oil. Life is suffering (or deeply unsatisfying and our grasping after perfection is what causes it.

    I get to let go of the idea that I should have a different body. I can take Pema Chodron’s advice: “don’t believe everything you think.” That relieves some of my embarrassment about what I cannot do and fear about what may happen next. She also says “feel the feelings and drop the story.” I feel and honor my sadness and fear, but I don’t need to get caught up in monkey-mind explanations of why they are there or judgments about whether I should feel them.

    Meditation gives me practice in self-compassion. Every time I realize I’m thinking and gently escort my awareness back to the breath, I practice being kind to myself.

    The Noble Truths tell me that I don’t have to take part in this world of lusting after success and the “perfect life.” What a relief! Instead, I can stay anchored to this moment and celebrate everything as practice.

    in reply to: Week One Essay #78696
    Kate Wolfe-Jenson
    Participant

    Helene, thanks for pointing out the difference between a more childish “submission to authority” and a more mature devotion. Reading your response, I got a glimpse of a different teacher-student relations than I have known. Having someone transmit discipline, authenticity, and joy would be magnetic! Your phrases of “the infinity of silence,” “nature and its preservation and beauty,” and “my heart sings” struck a deep chord within me. Thank you for your words!

    in reply to: Week One Essay #78688
    Kate Wolfe-Jenson
    Participant

    Jenn, thanks for playing with lama as metaphor. Representative of the dharma, the inner teacher, this very moment… Your thinking adds richness.

    in reply to: Week One Essay #78663
    Kate Wolfe-Jenson
    Participant

    Just for fun, I looked up the definition of devotion. Profound dedication… Ernest attachment.
    Dudjom Rinpoche lived and worked in the cradle of Tibetan Buddhism. In exile, they worked hard to rebuild and maintain that system and those traditions. In them, students dedicated themselves to a lama. I can imagine that being attached to such a teacher would affect one’s practice. It might feel like “pouring water into water.” Spending time with someone so skilled might “rub off” on me without effort.
    In the West in current times, we simultaneously have more and less access to great teachers and lamas. Because of the Internet, I can watch videos, read articles, and order books from many different Dharma holders. How fortunate! They don’t know me, however. I am reading general advice instead of someone knowing me and my gifts and challenges.
    This means I get to steer my own Dharma ship. It’s up to me how and how much to practice, what to study, and to whom I listen.
    I am dedicated to the dharma – continuing to practice (on and off “the cushion.”) Practice is the “how.” I am attached to learning more and bringing that understanding to my daily life. My life is the “where.” Right here. Right now. Aware and awake in this moment.

    in reply to: Please introduce yourself: #78609
    Kate Wolfe-Jenson
    Participant

    Hello. I’m Kate. I live in Minneapolis. I have been a member of the OHP from the beginning. (How long Susan, 12 years?) I took refuge vows with Susan in 2016. Taking this class is already deepening my practice, as I am giving myself more complete inner instruction each time I sit. I’m looking forward to learning more and getting to know all of you. (PS – the flower is one of my watercolor paintings.)

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