Karen Daughtry
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Rena, I love how you say your “practice is held and guided first and foremost by love,” and that is a perfect articulation of what I aspire to. Thank you for expressing this.
Tracey, I love the image of the constellations of stars – thank you for that! It helps me to imagine my own cosmos of ancestors, inspire-ers and fellow travelers
Jenn, I appreciate your mention of “something larger in the universe” and the connection going back thousands of years as well as your close family connections. The cultural appropriation issue is on my mind a lot, as well, when it comes to utilizing practices that are not part of my heritage. Thank you for your clear and helpful observations.
Reflecting on the question of lineage, there were many, many teachers (formal and informal) that helped to shape the person I’m becoming, but most of them sort of melt into the background in the context of the experiences that they facilitated. It was the “experience of the experience” that was important, it wasn’t necessarily the name or personality of whoever was facilitating the experience.
The ones that I can name that had a lasting influence (good or bad) are from a variety of fields: energy work, dance, art, school, family – however I don’t detect a thread that holds them together (unless the thread is me). There isn’t one lineage that I can point to, except my ancestors and family, from whom I feel rather disenfranchised. Alternatively, I could say that I have an “Energy Work” lineage, plus a “Healthcare profession” lineage, as well as an “Art” lineage and a humble “Subsistence Employment” lineage. Then there are the feminist writers, the spiritual writers, the writers on health and psychology, the historians, novelists, poets and playwrights. Is there such a thing as a literary lineage?
The question is: Do these lineages support my personal meditation practice, and if so, how? That’s a very hard question for me, because I feel that I have my own kind of “conduit” to the Divine, and it wasn’t bestowed upon me by anyone in human form. This is not to discount the great influences that I have both endured and been blessed with. I say “endured,” because it seems to me that the painful experiences have imparted the most information to me throughout my human life.
Going through the thought process to arrive at the answers through writing this essay (I love when that happens), I can conclude that the healing energy modalities that I’ve studied have been the most inspiring and important to my meditation practice, because meditation has been part of my life for so many years due to my esoteric studies. Healing Touch, Reiki, and other modalities provided support and context for the Truth (with a capital “T”) that I intuited but was missing from my upbringing and education. I came into energy studies as a way to be of service – and I’m still learning.
Love, love, love – dear Kate, you are eloquent in your expression, and I feel the power of your words. Deep bow.
Dear Helene – deep condolences on the loss of your dear sister. How transformational that you can take that loss and redefine it as a door to the spiritual. I’m ruminating on your sky metaphor – so evocative – thank you.
Hi, Donna – I’m sorry you had to go through those difficult and confusing experiences, especially when you were just a child! I agree when you say that suffering is really part of the human condition, and in that, we are not alone. I think that realization can lead us to compassion, because we have an inkling of how other people must be suffering. I wish you blessings of peace.
Suffering originates from craving: the Second of the 4 Noble Truths
Eckhart Tolle has said, “Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it – all else is madness.” This quote has a lot in common with the Serenity Prayer, which says, “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Similarly, in the Lion’s Gate essay, Tulku Thondup Rinpoche stated: “In tantric, or Vajrayana, Buddhism the followers do not avoid or subdue emotional afflictions or negative energies and situations. Instead the emphasis is on accepting and transforming them as the fuel of the wisdom energy.”
These three quotes are referring to the same concept expressed in the Second Noble Truth, which tells us that the cause of suffering comes from our own craving. The external circumstances may be painful, but suffering is multiplied when we create a story about it that springs from our grasping at what we think should be the case, instead of accepting what is objectively before us.
The wisdom of accepting what actually *is* occurring in the present reality is increased by Tulku Thondup Rinpoche’s notion of transforming the negative into medicine that is of assistance to us. As an example, my first marriage was to a man who had many personal issues, and his drinking led him to join AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). During the years that he was going to AA meetings, I was going to Al-Anon, and it was there that I first learned about the concept of detachment and accepting what is. The Serenity Prayer is often recited in AA and Al-Anon meetings.It is akin to madness to not accept what is literally going on around you, but so often our impulse is to do exactly that. We have the urge to bend circumstances to our own preferences, and to have our own way, and even to try to change other people, which is a particularly excruciating exercise in futility. When I have tried these things in the past, what seemed to be behind those impulses was the need for my ego to control, and for my ego to be superior, and for me to get my own way. It was also my ego becoming judgmental of the other person, resulting in me trying to force things to be “better.”
Tolle’s words, “Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it” pretty much sum up my divorce. In my case, my ex-husband actually kicked me out, because he had been cultivating new paramours that were, like him, involved in AA. To try to stay would have been madness, although leaving was difficult and the cost was high. To express the second of the Four Noble Truths (“Suffering originates from craving”) in my own words, I am reminded of my own craving at that time: wanting things to stay the same, to stay in my old apartment and town (craving for the familiar), wanting the security of material things, and wanting my own way (cravings for my desires).
As the Second Noble Truth tells us, the cause of suffering comes from craving, which really comes from my own inner thoughts, which is terrible and wonderful to realize. It’s terrible because I’m doing it to myself, sometimes without my conscious awareness, and it’s wonderful because if my eyes are open to that fact, that means I can become aware, change my approach, and theoretically put reduce my own suffering. As Tulku Thondup Rinpoche indicated, we can even transform the negative energies into the medicine of wisdom, which blessedly happened in the middle portion of my life as a result of my difficult divorce.
– Karen Daughtry
I WANT to be spiritual but sometimes I’m just not (personally) – it’s good to have some perspective or a sense of humor about it – after, all it’s just being human! thanks for your thoughtful response, Jana
Helene, I too had a wonderfully inspirational dance teacher for many years. She taught adult ballet, and she was from France. Those of us in her class were the dancers that didn’t have lessons in childhood and never aspired to the stage, just dancing for the physical movement (exercise) and the camaraderie of the class. Our teacher was such an amazing example in our lives, and a nurturing mother figure to me. She died at the age of 94 several years ago. I agree that the discipline and commitment of dance augments and extends our spiritual path.
How do we develop devotion? The Play of Thought essay states in the last paragraph: “…our mind becomes ‘one’ with the mind of the Lama…there is no difference between our mind and that of the Lama. His is not better, ours is not impure. Such differences do not exist.” To erase the distinction of “better” and “impure” eradicates the hierarchical ranking according to merit – All are equal, or at least equally essential for existence – the yin and yang, light and dark. If the Lama is the guru or authority, and our mind is no different than theirs, then we are the Lama, we are our own guru. That is sovereignty, and it’s a lot to understand. What is in our authority? What is our locus of control? To answer this, it helps to notice where our resources of attention and money and time are devoted.
I want to say I’m devoted to Love, Service, and Justice. However, when I stop to ask myself: Where do I spend my money? How do I spend my time? … then maybe it’s not Love, Service, and Justice – maybe I’m really devoted to politics (!), or the internet (!!), or perhaps I’m devoted to food!!!
Is it still devotion if it is mundane rather than spiritual? Sometimes the mundane is equivalent to the spiritual. Ten years ago (or so) I was devoted to my dying mother’s care, and the days and nights revolved around her physical needs. Last year I devoted time and money on a nutrition program that helped me to lose weight, a mundane aim that has enormous health repercussions. For years I worked in an office, in addition to teaching art on the weekends, and I was devoted to my mundane work to the point where I felt burnt out. I therefore quit the office job and intended to devote more attention to teaching and making art, but it wasn’t that simple.
My personal artmaking was somewhat blocked (which I’m still working around) and the teaching part began to get onerous, in terms of mundane preparation. I was anxious and perfectionistic about preparing for classes and the anxiety was producing physical aberrations – I routinely felt nauseous before teaching class and a whole host of other aches and pains developed, including a frozen shoulder. The minute that I decided to go on sabbatical from the school (March of 2024), that shoulder was FINE. It took less than a split second for the pain to vanish, and I was amazed, because it had been quite painful and immobile for about 4 months. I’ve been blocked and stymied in teaching art and artmaking so thoroughly, that although I wish I were devoted to art, I cannot truthfully say that I am.
What am I really devoted to? After close consideration, I conclude that I am devoted to Love. Love is of God, and to me the terms are interchangeable. Love and kindness determine my actions and words, and these are good things to live by. Love, with healthy boundaries!
I have to say that I am also devoted to learning. I read a lot and take a lot of courses, and have earned a variety of certifications and degrees in various subjects and modalities. I have a lot of curiosity, which is really kind of fun, because I’m never bored. In fact, sometimes I overwhelm myself incoming information, and that is something I’m trying to temper. I’m at an age where the objects of my attention and resources need to be more selective, because there simply isn’t enough Earthly time to learn everything about everything. In addition to learning, this seeker is open to Knowing.
– Karen DaughtryI’m Karen from Evanston, Illinois, USA. I am co-author and illustrator of the children’s book entitled My Helpful Healing Touch: A Guide for Empowering Children, published by the Healing Touch Program. I’m also an artist and calligraphy teacher, and I call my classes “Contemplative Calligraphy.” I have a background in energy work and have been meditating for many years. I’m taking this training now for a few reasons: 1. to enhance my art and calligraphy, helping the movement of the pen to truly become a moving meditation 2. to enhance my own equanimity and reduce my tendencies towards workaholism, anxiety, and other human foibles, and 3. to be better at conveying these concepts and tools for peacefulness to my art students and those around me.
I’m 69 years old and married to George for 23 years. It’s the second marriage for both of us, and I have a stepson who is 40 years old and lives in Chicago. Throughout the years I’ve had my own calligraphy business, practiced energy work (Reiki and Healing Touch), worked with seniors as a Community Health Educator, and held various office/administrative jobs. I’ve been an editor in the publishing field (trade magazines), a licensed EMT (Emergency Medical Technician), and am now an art teacher and working artist.