Jodi Pirtle Bowers
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Please describe a situation where you had an ideal learning environment. Please describe a less-than-ideal environment from your personal experience.
Ideal Situation: My best learning experiences with respect to my spiritual practice have been on retreat and the time near after. I enjoy being immersed on retreat. The presence of a trustworthy teacher who I am inspired to work with creating a container for focused practice and learning accompanies my best memories. I love being able to set aside the time, to steep in the retreat, choosing to remain as close to the retreat mandala as I can while there, knowing that the rest of life is there for me when I return. I also love collaborative learning, when there are some group aspects to what we are doing and shared experiences with Sangha. I also need sufficient alone time on retreat and in a learning environment to absorb the material, insight from practice, to process, rest, and recharge. Comfortable accommodations, if at all possible I get my own room, delicious and healthy food, a beautiful environment, are also so helpful to me as this creates an ease of mind for me to be on retreat. Over time, I have learned that I need to take what I have learned with me when I go and apply it relatively soon post retreat in my own practice, and teaching others if this is yoga, to make-it-stick by developing my own personal experience of it in my day-to-day life. I just returned from a yoga retreat near Sayulita Mexico in February, so a retreat setting as an environment for learning is top of mind.
Less-than-ideal Situation: I have a less than ideal memory that comes to mind, occurring about 20 years ago. I was 27 and so motivated to attend this in-person retreat with my Geshe that I put the entire cost on my credit card in order to travel from SE Alaska to N Germany. He was offering the Highest Yoga Tantra Empowerment of Vajrayogini with detailed instructions on the practice of self-generation and a new edition of the accompanying text. This was my first HYT empowerment and I was so ready that I didn’t want to wait until he was closer to my location – not likely ever closer than England as he was getting older and no longer traveled far from his home in the UK. So, I was ready. Several NW Sangha mates and our ordained teacher were going, too. To keep it short, basically. . . the retreat location, selected by the local Sangha, was out on a beautiful lake in a wooded area, but the accommodations were like an institutional dormitory, concrete, cold, sleeping on metal cots, and with near zero bathroom or bathing privacy. The food was all the same color, beige, and almost completely composed of starch and dairy. My sleep was off, my digestion was off. With respect to supporting learning, the environment was totally off. Still, I was so happy to be there receiving this direct teaching from my Geshe, in many respects nothing else really mattered. There is more that I won’t get into here and now, other than saying that it was the last time that I spent time with my NW Sangha teacher before she disrobed and left the tradition to be in a relationship with one of her students. So, this example of a less than ideal learning environment comes to mind with humor, tenderness, and also sorrow. Although it’s been years, the latter aspect took me years to process. I met one of my closest friends to this day in that Sangha. I love the photograph that we took together in our young at tender 20s near that lake in Germany, smiling in the sunshine with all the potential of the teachings we had just received on our hearts and much of life still ahead of us.
Remaining connected but separate is an important part of the teaching mandala. Many become either too remote or too “friendly”. Have you had such experiences as a student? A teacher? Please share an anecdote or two.
I deeply empathized with Susan’s experience shared in On Being a Teacher. When a tragic family event occurred, in conjunction with a retreat that she was leading, she decided to stay and hold the container of the retreat for her students. I am amazed and humbled by her personal account of that particular experience, and other experiences she shared of being “connected but separate” on retreat and as a Dharma teacher of pure intent. I am so glad that she shared this. On retreat and in classes, I have often thought about the experience of the teacher, not making it about them, holding space for the students, connected but separate, the most skilled can do this. I have not shared Susan’s experience akin to her example in the reading. However, I have been teaching yoga for 12 years, and I am familiar with creating and holding the container for my students to practice, form their own personal experience of the practice, getting out of the way as much as I can, and never intentionally making it about me, keeping separation between my personal life and our time together.
In my day-to-day job I lead a science program with several staff. We develop species distribution models, using data and math, to predict and map where many different kinds of animals are most-to-least likely live in the ocean in relationship with their environment that is changing all around them all the time. Our work is required by sustainable fisheries management law in the US and is practically applied to make decisions regarding sustainable ocean resource management. The model-based maps that cover all five large marine ecosystems off Alaska are also incredibly beautiful, they are our creations, our art. In leading this program and my team I think of myself as an orchestrator, the conductor, doing what I can to create conditions to help them do their work and feel successful based on the goals of our program and their own personal goals for work. I very much identify with Susan’s instruction of “caring by not taking care of”, it’s very much not about me and I also cannot take care of them. I am “blessed” with some amazing staff, who inspire me all the time. I am also at a more mature place on my own “leader journey”. When I was younger, earlier in my career, it was more about me and my personal goals, building and establishing the program, attracting the right people to come work with me, and advancing our program goals and IMPACT. Now, I am mostly concerned with supporting my staff, and keeping the program going together, as a team, and a lot of that is me getting out of the way and creating conditions for our team to be successful, and celebrating together along the way, giving the spotlight to them when at all possible.
Hi Colin – Your recounting of a less than ideal math class with an unsupportive teacher brought me back to my own experience of high school math class. It is such a tragedy when young, bright, people are forced to spend time “learning” from a unsupportive and unkind teacher, in particular for subjects that are challenging and also so interesting. It took some time for me after high school to get my enjoyment and confidence in the subject back. For me this happened with my upper division undergraduate and graduate level classes when I could see how the math that we were learning would be practically applied to population statistics and species distribution models, which is what I do now and love. The practical, hands-on learning in an environment created that confidence again, despite being paired with some less than ideal teachers from time to time. I have discovered about myself that I can absorb subject matter in a classroom setting, but I need to get out and apply it for the matter to stick and for the lightbulbs of learning to come on for me. Thank you for allowing me to prattle on here. – Jodi
Vy, I connect with your perspective of taking a long view with respect to Patience. Learning can take time. . .not expecting immediate results. Thank you also for your tender share on your experience with respect to Generosity. – Jodi
Cheryl, thank you for your reflection on Generosity. I also think of Generosity when you speak up in class to share your questions and experiences. Thank you. – Jodi
Part 1 – I have gone back and forth about adding this part of my reflection to my public essay. I want to be part of a Sangha without fear and honesty is an important part of that. Here goes. I really struggled with the reading assignment and, as such, I put off completing this essay. I am not interested in reading CT’s advice on practicing the Paramitas, or anything, really. The first line of text follows that “Paramita practice is based on human decency”. If I adopted a mind that the author is expounding on the practice from an intellectual understanding based on many years of study, rather than someone honestly demonstrating a good example of walking and talking the Bodhisattva’s way of life, it was a tiny bit easier to place his words on my mental continuum for the purpose of completing the assignment. I acknowledge that no one was forcing me to read it. It was assigned and I chose to read it. I am also not intending to create a schism in the group. I have been studying and practicing secular (Tibetan) Buddhism in the west for 25 years, although not in the Shambala tradition. Being asked to read this particular text by CT to support my learning on the topic of the Paramitas was an obstacle for me. What helped me complete the essay was going back and listening to the recording of Susan’s lesson on the Paramitas to our MTT and noticing what came up for me then. I am here to study and practice with Susan and this Sangha. Lineage is deeply personal and also complicated and complex in modern times in the west – or always and everywhere. I encourage Susan to consider the Paramitas, all six, as a topic for one of her future books. If, as Susan shared, there are not books on the Paramitas but they appear elsewhere and here and there, please write one. It will be impactful, and help many people on their path. Let’s clear the slate. Take what was helpful from the past and move forward while continuing to share pure Dharma. Thank you.
Part 2 – Now for my (second) reflection on the Paramitas. At this time I am feeling connected with exertion. I loved this teaching on the Paramitas from Susan and with our Sangha. Receiving clear instructions, live, from a teacher who I connect with and as part of a Sangha, is so amazing and also hard to describe the experience in words. One of those experiences is energy. Not to overly gush; since finding Susan and the OHP I have felt reconnected with my practice and energized. I was part of a Sangha and studying to be a teacher in that tradition around 20 years ago. Then I moved away to attend a PhD program. I fully intended to keep going, continuing my Buddhist studies and completing some very meaningful retreats. But I was living in a location without a local Sangha or teacher or modern ways of connecting that we have now. I was alone, and over time became disconnected. It was so difficult to continue on my own, receiving recordings in the mail on CDs with occasional in-person events, before the time of virtual, live teachings and Sangha gatherings. My heart connection to my Geshe did not fade, but when he passed away at the age of 91 in 2022, I started looking around for other teachers and Sangha formats. In studying the Paramitas for this week’s homework, I went back and read my Geshe’s teachings on the “six Perfections” in his Guide to the Bodhisattva Vow. I found many similarities, but also some refreshing differences between his words and Susan’s that helped some concepts stick in a new way. Hearing those again in a new way from Susan was powerful and motivating. I am not sure if Susan and the OHP will be my forever home, but they are definitely part of my path right now and I am excited about where this meditation teacher training with the OHP will take me. Thank you.
Allison – Thank you for (in my words) sharing your experience of lineage and keeping the practice sacred. Your reflection was resonant with how meaningful it feels to pause, make an offering, request, and dedicate, when there is so much pull in life to move along to the next busy thing. – Jodi
Cheryl – I love that you called in the sacredness of family recipes as “lineage”. Thank you for that beautiful, personal story. – Jodi
Insights on what it felt like to offer instruction –
To my surprise, over Zoom, one of my experiences offering and receiving instruction was one of connection in our little Sangha of two. I was aware of my instruction partner’s presence, I felt their presence, which was more than I expected. And, although we were not gazing at each other in this practice I was aware of the movements of their body breathing in the space, not sound, their presence, and it was so nice to feel Sangha connection that way as we practiced sharing the instructions as they are meant to be shared. This left me feeling hopeful that if one day I provide instruction one-to-one over live video that the connection and experience has the potential to be meaningful.
I provide meditation instruction to groups of people in-person during weekly yoga classes. Teaching meditation over Zoom is new to me. Teaching this technique is also new to me. Given that the practice sessions were a surprise, I did not have time to prepare. I was okay with that and connected to providing the basics of the technique as instructed, covering mindfulness of body, breath, and mind. I look forward to continuing to practice and improve on sharing this technique for the benefit of others, whether in-person or over video or a recorded session.
That’s all for now. Thank you. – Jodi
Hi Cliff – Your reflection on needing to take your seat before providing instruction resonates with me. On the Zoom call with my partner, I was taking my seat as I was beginning to provide instruction. Whereas, in a room in-person, I am there early to transition from what I was doing before teaching to teaching, which I view is kind to myself and the students. I imagine that outside of this class setting that I will have time to take that step when instructing students. Your reflection encouraged me to think about this. Thank you, Jodi
Hi Joe – I can relate to your experience of Zoom versus in-person groups. This was my first time providing meditation instruction over Zoom to one person. I was surprised and happy to find that for me the experience was still one of connection and meaning.
Some personal reflections on Lineage –
On my shrine is a photo of my Geshe and primary teacher of that lineage of Buddhism.
On my shrine are images of Buddha Tara and Vajrayogini and the Dharma Protector.
On my shrine are photos of my Dad holding me when I was a baby with my uncle, his twin, a photo of me and my sister as small children, and a photo of a very dear friend when we were in our 20s at a Buddhist Meditation “Festival” 20 years ago.Lineage in Buddhist circles can also get so political. Yuck. Let’s just focus on the pure Dharma from pure teachers please and move on from that.
Lineage to me is the lineage of my spiritual path, those teachers who I have a heart connection with and those deities whose qualities I admire. And, Lineage to me is also family, ancestors, benevolent guides, and allies. I have family images on my shrine also as a form of requesting blessings to protect and guide us on our paths.
That’s all for now. Thank you. – Jodi
Kristin – I appreciate your personal experience and reflections of nihilism as a scientist and your deeply personal reflection of this essay topic in general. – Jodi
Let’s first lay some groundwork. Nihilism is a belief that life is meaningless. Existentially, because nihilism denies knowledge, and even more extreme that nothing exists, this view can lead to feelings of apathy, or can be used as a vehicle for apathy. Personally, this view is a waste of precious human life. It is completely devoid of magic. It is also so confused about the nature of existence (i.e., not nothingness, rather, interdependent, interconnected, dependent on causes and conditions, and constantly changing, spacious and full of endless possibility – magic).
Eternalism, and I understand we are applying it here theistically, is a view that God is the eternal ordering principle that sets the Cosmic Plan and gives everything a specific meaning. I did not grow up in an overly religious family. This view, while inviting magic only derives that magic from “God”, and invites the removal of agency from one’s life (lives). Rather, the path of relying on a Spiritual Guide provides agency, applies wisdom, asks to investigate and then decide if you are “buying it”, and also comes with so much magic.
I am in love with the magic of life all around me. This is why I am a scientist. Science is a methodological process to investigate the world around us; a process of discovery. Through science I have never found nothingness or lack of meaning, but rather an expansive experience of greater magic and meaning in life. This is the opposite experience of nihilism.
We used an example in class of applying scientific investigation of the body’s response to meditation as an example of nihilism. However, the scientific investigation of the body’s response to meditation is not in itself nihilistic. Rather, the conclusion that one could choose to make as a result of that scientific investigation that e.g., there is no deeper meaning to meditation other than the body’s reaction, reduced to mere electro-chemical reactions in cells, is a nihilistic conclusion. I offer this observation with the intention of clearing some confusion around the process of science, as our discussion, or at least the chat discussion seemed to reveal some different views of what science is and is not (science is not nihilism, but nihilism can be applied through science depending on one’s view).
That’s all for now. Thank you. – Jodi