Jake Yarris
Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
I had some surprises when confronting the five buddha families. I believe Susan and I share the same enneagram type, 4, and further, 4 (self preservation), and understanding some of the characteristics of this type would leave me to expect to find myself drawn to Padma and secondarily Karma, as I think Susan used as an example in class. But that in reality, that is not what drew me…
Again, I really like the explanation of the enneagram and of the buddha families as that everyone can experience and embody each energy, fluctuating and flowing, and though they may represent “home bases” for some, learning about these energies as a whole gives us an interesting array of tools to interact with and understand the world and each other. Expecting myself to be drawn to Padma, I instead felt a very strong pull to Ratna. This made me curious because it seemed that few others in the class were drawn to Ratna… perhaps being turned off by appearances of being “messy” or “materialistic”, seemingly anti-buddhist concepts, familiar with negative emotions associated with our heavily consumerist and materialist society. But I immediately resonated with the aspect of Ratna recognizing the incredible richness in everything that surrounds us, in every mundane moment. A large part of my spiritual journey (winding, bringing me eventually here to Tibetan buddhism) has been an exploration of the two connected feelings of a) the profound interconnectivity (emptiness) of phenomena, reality, beings, etc and b) the incredible richness to be found within each waking moment. The falsity of looking for “richness” in some other place, or some other time, or some other material circumstance, and the truth of the incredible richness in each moment, so rich that we cannot absorb, comprehend, or even realize it all. I feel Ratna in the summer afternoons sent sitting in my small backyard (messy, old, used) next to a crumbling treehouse, the coos of chickens, nearby highway sounds, ripening blueberries, a mishmash of grass and concrete and paved stones in a haphazard wall. I immediately felt Ratna during class, sitting next to my bedside table (which is my guitar amplifier) surrounded by candles and a tangle of guitar cords and stacked up books and clothes I should put away and my meditation cushion and tossed around pillows and my mala beads and plants and art notebooks and posters and paintings and pictures on the walls.
So I feel a sense of pride with this discovery of the Ratna family: the family of messy gardens in the afternoon, of an artist’s insanely cluttered studio, of a notebook filled with doodles and drawings and quick-written poems and taped-in plant parts and to-do lists and score tallies from card games.I have been practicing the heart sutra before almost every meditation, after making offerings and requesting blessings, and considering my recitation of the sutra to be one of my offerings. I recite in an even rhythm, and something I learned from practicing with a group rather than alone is that when I need to breathe in, I continue reading even as the correct sounds are not made, and pick up after the in-breath. This, to me, grants a little bit of a better flow, and a sense that once in motion, the sutra is continuing on its own even as I physically have to take breaths.
The sutra seems to add a sense of clarity, “calmness”, and profoundness, and knowledge, always feeling like something I approached, and it passed by me, and left me with something in my pocket, and the feeling like something profound and true rippled by… After my morning meditations I make breakfast and go to work. At work, when I am doing some tasks, I try to recite parts of the sutra, as much as I can remember from my mind, in the effort of getting to memorize it.The paramita I have been resonating with recently is “exertion”. I have been having a lot of experiences with the buddhist nature of exertion and it was invigorating to (re)learn the paramitas and remember that exertion is a transcendent action. It has been very prescient to me in recent years the concept of realizing an energy within yourself, and realizing a capacity to keep on giving especially. That you actually do have so much to give. At times voices of your mind might tell you negative things: that you are “too tired” for something, that you can’t afford to help another, that you need to give up on a project or an effort. Of course, it is important to protect and support yourself above all else. But often you actually do find in your heart an almost boundless exertion, an ability to give to others or to continue on. And if it is present in your heart, you may be astounded how far your body and mind can go. Whether, for me, that be in an intense physical effort, helping others at work, or simply small kindness actions when you already feel tired or low yourself.
I am reminded of a quote from a show I have watched with close friends: “Set your heart ablaze!” If I breathe for a moment and look within, during a difficult effort, I may find that in fact my heart is ablaze, and has been the whole time. That each of us may in fact possess a tremendous inner strength, inner pool of energy and compassion, for that has indeed been our nature all along.To be honest, at this time I don’t really have a “large concern” in my life. However, I think that based on my internal patterns of personality and conflicts, the main “large concern” that I feel may arise has to do with being concerned for what I will decide to do with my future: will I find a path that is fulfilling? Will I be making enough good in the world? Will I be “successful” or will I be “wasting my time”? At times I feel conflicting forces of wanting to be traditionally successful and stable while also contending with the intensely creative and imaginative forces that are inherent within me. With the desire to give my creativity as much of my time as possible, despite a perceived lack of material gain or “success” from that time usage.
I think the truths can be very helpful in this regard. You could take many angles. You could say that grasping to some concept of “success” is not actually real, and causing suffering. You could say that grasping to my identity as being “creative (wasting time)” or “smart and successful (avoiding what calls me)” are both ideas that can cause me suffering by the grasping of them. You could say that indulging in these mental conflicts and fueling their spiral is also a vector of pulling me away from reality, causing suffering. You can look at the eightfold path, and see that actually, if I am dedicated to these goals, the “right” path will arise organically. If I am following positive karma in my actions and decisions, then benefit will arise as a result. It is possible to both 1) invest in my own creativity and 2) work to make money to support myself WITH right view, action, intention, concentration.
And in terms of worrying how I spend my time: right livelihood outlines a pretty simple definition. Making money or acquiring “success” is nowhere within those eight folds. To work with our mind, to plant seeds of compassion and benefit, all one step at a time: the teachings say, if these are our goals, the diminishment of suffering will simply arise as a result of our work.I find it so interesting and synchronous that our first essay prompt is about our lineage, as I have recently found myself deeply reflecting on the mentors on my life who have been so impactful in my growth and learning–those special members of our growth who attract us and add a few bricks from their path to ours. Recently, I had the opportunity to see my guitar mentor of basically my entire childhood play music in a small home concert after not seeing her for five years. The reconnection gave me so much raw joy and I remembered how much I aspire to be a person and artist like her, while still becoming my own self. Slowly laying my own path with bricks I’ve made, found, or been given by people like her along the way.
I love the realization that we all are here because of others, because of a lineage. Another mentor of mine used to end many lessons by saying “you are here because somebody loved you”. What a beautiful sentiment. To remind ourselves as much as possible, that we are all here because actually a lot of people have loved us, in each their own way, for truly to teach is to love, to encourage and guide is to love.Hello, my name is Jake. I’m 22 years old, I grew up in Portland OR and currently live in Goleta California.
I have always been a seeker. At 15 I first experienced a consistent meditation practice and it was difficult but very impactful. I have been inspired by many different paths and voices along the way and often found the most resonant truths to be more shared than individual. Through meeting and taking classes with Susan I started into Tibetan Buddhism, and felt that many things just made sense: that these were teachings I had heard in my heart and mind since being a child and now, here they were externalized.
I took refuge in 2023.
I am so grateful for the strength and selflessness offered by our teacher Susan Piver, I know she has helped so many. Happy to share these teachings and experiences with you all!
Also, I am a four! for those who have enjoyed some study of the enneagram.
