Jake Yarris
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Mary, I agree with your conclusion. You are already a good human, so there’s no worries. And you can wait if that feels right, but also we will always have room to grow, so that’s no reason to not start. The same goes with knowing the answers–there will always be answers we don’t know. In some way your sense of reflection in this matter is encouraging to us all because it shows your care to the practice. Good luck!
MaryBeth, I think there is as much worth in your simple “yes” as a response filled with reflections or justifications. I believe in you and I believe we can trust ourselves. In this practice and tradition of a sense that through experience, we cultivate the ability to make compassionate decisions simply and without overthinking. They are the right decisions because they come from us, and we are inherently good, and each contain buddhanature. Cheers to where this will unfold and blossom in your life!
Yes. I have found that I do feel prepared to offer 1:1 instruction. Before this class, it wasn’t really something in my field of experience. But throughout I have discovered and/or realized a simple sense of confidence. I am confident in the technique. I am confident that I can teach it based on my experience, and the thought that I can’t see any reason why I wouldn’t be able to teach it. Not that I have any grandiose ambition or pretend to any great wisdom, but simply that I feel confident in the technique and my ability, now, to teach others. If any wisdom comes to me or others in some way as a result or process, then that is a blessing. I understand my youth, but I also already have a sense that we cannot predict or judge competence or wisdom or truths or anything based on someone’s age, so there is no reason to discount myself here.
I think I find myself in the realistic view, understanding the consumerist and capitalist forces that structure our western or U.S. society, and that as meditation teachers in this society we operate within or at least according to the influence of that structure. Do I agree with this structure? Not necessarily. Do I believe it has increasingly damaging effects and deserves some level of change? Yes. But still it is undeniably at work.
I really like what Colin said during class, which was to some degree of: the dharma is sacred and not for sale, yes. However, we as teachers are offering a service, a space, a guidance, a transfer. We can and probably should charge for this work that we do. And I do not believe that exchange tarnishes the dharma. I think the dharma is strong enough to handle it. Like any tradition or phenomena, it may experience change. The Buddhist tradition would not look the same in the West, in fact it looks different in every region, but I do not believe that diminishes its essential value and beneficial qualities. To some degree even every individual is a reflection of what dharma, meditation, and wisdom can be, and so the light of the dharma is constantly being reflected through new prisms.
Lauren, thank you for sharing your experiences. I love how you closed with the sentiment of connecting with others based on this understanding of different lenses and experiences. Reading through these essays, I see so many different “ideal” scenarios with beautiful lessons each. Perhaps there are some throughlines: mainly, an environment of safety and trust, and treating others like the humans they are, and meeting them wherever they are. But again, our understanding of these different ideals, these different desires, histories, passions and pains, that we all contain, leads us to empathy and compassion. If we understand that someone may be different in possibly monumental ways, we can listen rather than putting our mark on them. We can offer something in the aim of meeting them as a middle. That staggering realization that we may never, never truly know the other person, and yet in some ways we are inseparable and one. The concluding words you offer make me reflect too on our role and responsibilities as meditation teachers, hell, on our role to be humans.
Virginia, thank you for sharing. I resonated with how you pointed out the importance of the spirit of honest collaboration in learning. And a sense of humility, that we can always learn from others, no matter their difference in station such as age, experience, etc. That perspective leaves us with doors open rather than closed.
Luckily, I am a pretty flexible learner, and can succeed in a variety of learning environments. However I would like to describe two specific environments that were ideal, or close to ideal, for me.
The first was when I was on field study for a semester in Namibia. The parameters of the learning environment were: we were a small team of 12 students, 3 TAs, and a leading professor, either working all together or split into 3 teams. The small group became tight knit, both based on the fact that it was small and that we spent all day together for weeks. There was a lot of outdoors and experiential learning–we discussed a paper on a species or ecological dynamic and then we went into the field to see it. There was a lot of physical activity and motion. We always had notebooks on us and a small collection of other essential things–water, compass, watch, sun protection, binoculars. Despite certain difficulties that did arise during this program, I thrived in this environment. To summarize, a type-knit, deeply connected small group, based in experiential learning, supplemented by ‘book learning’, and framed with physical activity and motion. I think the ‘container’ in this instance was the physical journey and the limited 12 students, each of which I will never forget.
The second learning environment I will describe was on retreat with Susan at a center called Kripalu in Massachusetts. The parameters were – a group of about 30 people who spent a lot of time together. Wonderful, healthy, and fulfilling food was provided by the center (which was decidedly NOT a strength of my Namibia field study). There were learning sessions framed by the practice of meditation. There was a discussion element for feedback and self expression. Additionally, there was free time in which to reflect, write or read, and explore the facility and exercise, as well as participate in yoga classes. To summarize: a medium group size (still spending lots of connective time together), the practice of meditation, time for personal reflection, framed by a healthy diet and regular exercise. I think the containers here were the particular physical space of the center and the regular practice of meditation (and, for me, I would say yoga as well).
I feel that I succeed in an environment of balance. Balance of the mind, body, and heart. As well as being led by the experience of creating knowledge or wisdom, taking precedent over the study or reception of knowledge or wisdom.
Any experience that was not a good learning experience, in my view of hindsight, boils down to people in the learning group not being engaged. Success of the learning environment and sangha depends on the intention, respect, and engagement of ALL members. Even one person not engaging or being disrespectful can harm the energy and success of the group. More than, let’s say three, and the whole thing is off the rails. Worst of all, if your teacher/leader/guide is not engaged, well we all know the pains of that experience I am sure.
Elizabeth, thank you for sharing. I really appreciate the way you outlined that distance can actually bring warmth through your examples/experiences. We think of distance as being cold, but I think it’s very meaningful the way you expressed that a certain respectful and healthy distance can bring a lot of warmth and safety to a relationship.
Elizabeth, thank you for sharing, this is such a wise reflection of your experiences. Clear boundaries seems like such an important foundation for this relationship. I am also interested in this idea of the desire for a meditation or wisdom teacher that can afflict us. It seems that when we discover a taste of some wisdom or practice that feels like it will change our life, we become stricken by that strong desire for more and more, and for someone to guide us. I have also felt this desire to learn more and have a teacher, but feeling caution for making an inappropriate action, or some feeling that you can’t seek out that kind of relationship and that it only comes to you. I suppose one encouragement could be that in the end, we are the one going on the path/journey, so in some sense there is no external way to accelerate the rate of change and personal growth.
I think in the past I have leaned toward being too separate rather than too connected. Each teacher that you have is an opportunity to develop an interesting and meaningful connection, while upholding necessary, healthy, and safe boundaries.
I think in my experience in undergrad, I could have connected with more teachers and it would have been to my benefit. Just building rapport, going to office hours, building a few more of those connections. Maybe at the time I didn’t understand the value that those relationships could have beyond just receiving a lecture from someone. Of course, there are a lot of other interesting and meaningful things that go on in undergrad that aren’t teachers and classes. Maybe classes are 50% or less of the impact that an undergrad experience has. But now I wish I had connected more deeply with some of those teachers.
Otherwise, I have had almost entirely very healthy, very meaningful experiences of mentor and teacher relationships. Teachers who I connected with, while keeping healthy boundaries. Some who became friends as well as teachers. In that I feel lucky.
I had one very bad boss. But that person’s qualities don’t really apply to this question I think.Clif, these are such beautiful reflections! I am inspired by your reckonings and dance with generosity. I also love the message of action, the encouragement that we are in fact capable of right action and sometimes, we just have to do it. And trust our motivation and intention to guide us. I appreciate you reflecting on the relationship between the paramitas and your enneagram position, I also found myself thinking of this in my response! Thank you for sharing
Hi Joe, thank you for sharing. I find it interesting that you both outline that you don’t quit, and that you come back to the practice, however you feel disconnected to discipline. I wonder at this, because to me, always coming back feels like true discipline, rather than structure or routine, which in my mind seem like tools to help us practice rather than goals in themselves. This would lead me to encourage you that you do display the heart of discipline. I wonder what you think of this? Best of luck in continuing your practice, and good work in leaning into sangha!
I think the paramita I immediately feel a strong connection to is generosity. Generosity seems to come easily to me. I find in myself a deep reservoir to give. This seems especially true in difficult circumstances, when others seem worn down, at the end of their reserve, and I find some strength or richness to help others. In my personal experience, I have always been able to find something to give to another, without some sense of sacrificing myself. I feel very grateful for this aspect I seem to possess. I do think there is a meaningful difference between compassionate generosity and the sacrifice or harm of oneself for another. In our culture (western/USA) we do seem to value this kind of sacrificial quality, however I don’t believe that is the goal or emblem of the paramita of generosity.
As Susan said, generosity actually comes from an inner sense of richness. No matter what you do possess, this sense of personal richness allows you to give and offer to others. So if I feel personal richness, I do not actually need to hurt myself to give to others. There is no transaction as such. I am not sacrificing myself, I am simply loving others.
This paramita of generosity reminds me in this way of my felt connection to the Ratna family, when I encountered the five buddha families. As an artist and human, I feel that ordinary moments are full of richness, and are meaningful. There is no where I need to go, no one else I need to be, to find beauty, meaning, and richness. The world possesses it always, and so I possess it.
This has an interesting interaction with my enneagram position as a 4, the position of deep, deep longing. It might seem contradictory that I can long desperately for deep, deep beauty and meaning, and yet find it within myself and the present world in richness. I’m not sure I can explain that contradiction but it’s true. And of course as a 4 I want to be special, so my discovery of personal richness just validates the fact that I was indeed born with seven sacred jewels of the heart and an ear for the lamentations of the universe, and my writings will change the world. 😉 haha
Though I have made great leaps in this, I think if there was one paramita I feel most disconnected from, it is discipline. I do feel that as my work in discipline has increased its presence in my life, I have benefitted greatly, as it complements other aspects of my personality.
Cheryl, it’s great to hear your reflections, and you did a great job instructing! Kind of you to say I was doing a ‘good job’, since I had no idea how mine came out, and I was thinking that you did a good job! I really liked how you outlined the principles of mindfulness of body and mindfulness of mind in your instruction and here in your reflection. This was a learning point that I will take from you! 🙂
Joe, it’s great to hear that you weren’t nervous or uncertain. I can relate to your reflections on posture– I had a recent experience just before this class with receiving a full instruction and realizing that my posture and attention to posture had become a little lax, and that posture cues were really helpful to my practice. Preparing the body opens the mind.