Glenn Thode
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Dear Rosie,
Thanks for reflecting in such a commpact manner, going to the core of being prepared. A lot of practice leads to mastery. This is a very beautiful example for me to reflect upon.
Dear Stina,
Many thinks for listing the fundamentals you intend to apply, which are extremely helpful. May many students seeking guidance find their way to you, so you can guide them based on these principles.This question is a key question for me as a participant to this course. I’ve read the essays of some of my fellow participants and many resonate. And to start with the answer to the question; I do feel confident enough to offer the instruction to another person 1 on 1.
The breakouts and the 1 on 1 with Susan have really given met both a mirror to see my own doing and a ground with traction to move upon. This helped me to see where more precision was needed (a bit too loose) and where too much precision was adhered to (a bit too tight) and how to move towards a more useful balance. Finding the middle way, so to speak. I’ve also learned that this is a moving practice, sort of like a dance when one is in a 1 on 1 situation.
To me, I now feel the technique is becoming familiar within my being. The meditation practice and increasing the meditation time during the duration of the course helped me familiarize, become one with and gain confidence with different aspects of the practice. This helps in addressing question I had and students may have also when starting and maintaining a meditation practice. I’ve grown to trust in the wisdom of both the simplicity of the technique and the experience of applying this in daily life. The magic has grown on me and enveloped my own meditation practice, with thanks to the instructions, the context and the practice together in our little course sangha. This I now understand as part of the magic of the container.
At the moment I feel confident enough to invoke this container of technique within a 1 on 1 context to guide myself as teacher and the other as student into a meditation session. I’ve learned to take responsibility as teacher and to not confuse the roles, not being too distant and also not too close, caring for but not taking care of, to honor all who have brought this technique to life, our teachers, so it can be shared with me and through me and apply all of this with integrity and the buddha at heart (bodhichitta?). And let’s not forget, playfulness within seriousness (authentic humor) and with an uplifted and uplifting attitude 😉 All of this, with an approach which is not too tight, not too loose. Pfew… when integrated into oneself, this flows, comes naturally and feels this way in a 1 on 1.
As may be noticed by my text… I have a tendency to be (over?) analytical. From the course up to now I’ve learned also to not enter into analysis of the meditation session with the student. Allow the session and what it brings to reveal itself to the student and be open to answer questions, maybe more in a way of offering safe space (container) for reflection and guidance instead of (definitive) answers.
I’m very thankful for Susan and everybody in the course for supporting our and my journey and development on this path.
As I am contemplating guiding (teaching?) meditation and I’ve grown up in a situation in which we did not have the means to pay for so many developmental opportunities, this subject is a particular challenging for me. I believe ‘being in a pickle’ is a term which can be used. After reading many of the essays, I’ve started to get some basics to form a philosophy on how to deal with this. Central proposition within this philosophy must be the value of meditation. And then the different principles come into play. One which was mentioned last week was to honor your lineage and our teachers. I believe very strongly in some of the pointers given by Susan, like on how to draw lines like never ever mix romantic or erotic aspects into the value proposition and the relationship teacher – student. And then to recall how we live. We don’t have monastic lives, so how do we value what we bring in relationship to what we receive? As money has become the universal trading object, settling on this in our society seems not only fair but the clearest of choices. And I loved the emphasis by many of the shares about clarity in communication about money and price being a sort of kindness or love to others. I’ve never approached it like this coming from myself while I always appreciate it when others do. Thanks to the essays I can now embrace the clarity and kindness aspect. And I learned from the essays which touched on the relativity of different people / students having different financial positions and how to incorporate this into tiered pricing. Many thanks to all for sharing and I believe I now have sufficient clarity to continue working with this subject towards a result which will satisfy value, clarity, individual and social empathy, integrity, morality and spirituality. With these mixed together within the container of being part of a sangha, I may be at peace with this subject going forward.
Thanks Dawa, for sharing your insights. So many of the markers which influenced me and my views on putting a money value on what I do, I seem to share with you. Except the gender, as I did not grow up as a girl. But that perspective was and is very visible in the social nudges I saw my mom receive, who was a single mother for most of my childhood growing into an adult. I also saw this with my sisters and the social questions regarding our two daughters. Very insightful and thanks for sharing your path on innovating how then to interact with the actual amount being relative in terms of numbers but still probably the same in relation to what someone can carry. I’ve learned so much I will embrace and carry with me.
Hi Colin,
How nice it is to read about your learning from your dad and how recognizable the challenges faced with your math class and the teacher. Thanks for sharing and helping in recognizing these parts in my own experiences.
Cheryl, thanks for your share! I’ve so much identified with your ‘declutter’ experience and how much this has taught myself also that I’m not a ‘spreadsheet’ your time and your interests and your ‘values’ type of person. And now, I’ve become curious how you do ‘professional’ stuff… more in the way of teachings of your mom? I’ve really enjoyed reading about those… and realizing how just reading this is also a beautiful learning experience for me.
Dear Kat,
A wonderful share of how our mindscape is in a way the container for the learning environment. Thanks for shining your light on this factor I often overlook. I’m feeling some FOMO about the Grateful Dead live events… and imagining and wondering how you carry that magic and clarity from those experiences into daily life. I’m feeling inspired by this.Dear Rosie,
Your experience helps me to be aware of how fortunate I’ve been in my teaching environments, since I never had such deprivation as you described imposed. You mention that such may be wonderful for some, just not for you… I sense I resonate with that. Thanks!My first ideal learning environment experience was when I entered my PhD track at the University of Groningen. I was assistent to a professor, who was the one who wrote the research project I was contracted to work on. When I arrived at the department, I was surprised that there was almost no support for foreign researchers at the University. I had travelled with my young family, a 2 week old daughter, from Aruba to live in The Netherlands in Groningen. I was just shown the room I could sit in, was given access to the library and a computer and was told they had not expected me to already show up. But when I expressed how I needed guidance to get to know my way around the research infrastructure of the University, promptly another young researcher who was 1 year in his PhD track, was assigned as my sponsor to guide me in every way.
As I was conducting the research, there was a notion that if I applied a different research approach to the research subject then was proposed by my promotor, I may gain a more detailed and nuanced insight about the issues I was researching. I was conducting research about investigative powers by police and prosecutorial authorities in criminal cases in the different countries within the Kingdom of The Netherlands as a member state to the European Convention on Human Rights. My promotor was surprised I may think I could have an approach which may yield more insights than his approach but was very open. He said that if I wrote an article with my approach and get ik published and could convince him the added value of the results following this different approach, he would allow to determine this direction of the research. I wrote an article which got published and the professor allowed me to conduct the research according to my own approach. This was the first time experiencing a learning environment where there was true interaction where all involved were learning from the process of learning. This was very uplifting to my self-confidence also. Then I discovered that the whole department was functioning in a rather open manner which was geared towards the support of learning from each other.
Another example that stuck with me during this time was a series of meetings we had at the department to solve an international criminal justice issue. The UN had requested a professor of our department to help solve the question of a fair trial to the Lockerbie bombing (PanAm flight 103) suspects. I was invited to a think tank session about how to solve this issue. That meeting had an impressive list of criminal law professors at the table, legal minds with the highest regard and authority. I sat in awe in the meeting, listening to the options and perspectives debated to solve the challenge on how to offer these suspects the best guarantee for a fair trial according to Scotch and International criminal law. After the meeting my promotor came to my office and asked me to join him in his office for a talk. After we sat down he asked why I was quite in that meeting. I told him I was in the presence of great professors, me being just a beginning PhD candidate, just being happy to have been able to attend. I did not think I should have had the audacity to speak and offer my thoughts. He looked at me and said: this attitude borders to false humility. I was shocked. He told me that the fact I was invited to this think tank session was because they see, appreciate and value what my mind has to offer and by remaining silent I am witholding my fresh thoughts to be included in the collective wisdom of that meeting. After this, I did always listen with more care to notice where my contribution may add to the contribution of all others involved This was to me an example of how an ‘ideal’ learning environment for a collective may be created.
I’ve also experienced many ideal learning environment situations growing up. I had the blessing that my parents and grand parents were always willing to seek for answers to my questions. They went to great lengths, according to them buying encyclopedia series to have these meters of books in the house to answer my questions before I could read to offering me to read once I could. My grand parents bought my subscriptions for National Geographic for me until I was beyond my teenage years and also always supported my learning in all the ways possible. In this sense, I was being supported in my learning as the questions were arising.
Less-then-ideal learning environments were many. Particularly in formal schooling. Me and my fellow schoolmates were being schooled in programs and schooling tracks geared towards what industry or society demanded, not what may have us flourish best. When I was in primary and secondary school, there was hardly any ‘wiggle’ room in our educational system to ‘tailor make’ the tracks. This has changed much since then, but the experience our children have show that the flourishing of the mind of the person is still not a priority. The ‘system output’ is. Also, once I was working and getting leadership roles I noticed that the guidance and learning environment there is als less-then-ideal. I’ve experienced environments where there is no room for mistakes and a culture of immediate retribution for anything resembling a mistake. This is particularly the case in high profile positions, but I notice it permeating in almost ‘layers’ of organizations. This creates an environment where learning by mistakes is not only not primary, but creating the illusion of impeccability is best rewarded. I’ve experienced first hand how leaders suppress learning by mistakes by not being willing to acknowledge mistakes happen. The consequences usually are very harmful for those in the field of the effects of the mistakes. My personal experience with this go back mostly to the position I held as Governor of Bonaire. I’ve addressed many times to government officials and civil servants on ways to address poverty, but the unwillingness to learn from mistakes in determining a minimum level of income and cost support for those under that level have kept a large portion of the population under poverty levels.
These less-than-ideal learning environments seem to keep all involved hostage and frozen in a less than ideal reality. When this can be transformed into a more open and more interactive learning environment where the reality can be examined without the need to pretend to be perfect, the hostage situation can be overcome and new learning could be achieved. I’ve experienced this when I was asked many years after starting to address this issue to preside on a committee to determine the level of income and cost which can identify the line between poverty and dignified participation in society. Openly observing and discussing reality instead of pretentions, seems to help in the learning environment, may be an indication from my experience.
Dear Stina,
Your share has struck a familiar string, as I was also a university administrator, the president of the University of Aruba, when COVID hit. We had sooo many questions overflowing us and students and teachers getting in all kinds of serious troubles because of this. At the same time, our own daughters were studying abroad and were getting isolated in those foreign societies which were not well equipped to handle foreign students in a crisis situation. This situation confronted me and my wife, who is also a teacher, with challenges great and previously unknown. We tried to get our children to come home, but all flights to the island were cancelled and all physical contact with other countries were stopped. Meanwhile, we had to find ways to support teachers and students in a way to keep the study / learning process to proceed, as we did not know how long all of the quarantine and shelter in place policies were going to last.As such, both personal as professional aspects of relationships start to affect each other making it harder to keep the boundaries stable. They start to blur, as you describe in your essay. From the perspectives I’ve had to experience myself, I find reading your essay very helpful as they are enriching to mine.
Dear Anita,
I like the metaphor of family within a particular container, here the ‘medical’ one. For me this somehow helps with imagining how to determine behavioral qualities, directionalities and boundaries. Many thanks!Dear Lauren,
Thanks for focusing on the container itself and some of the building blocks to establish that. Others have shared about that and I join them in gratitude for highlighting that aspect. What also stuck with me, is your reflection on how lucky you have been. It made me realize again how lucky I have also been to have an abundance of great teachers on my path through life. I may not cherish those great examples enough but thanks to your essay I’m right there in thankfulness with them.Dear Kat,
Your experiences are both powerful examples of the variability of teacher – student relationship distance and the importance there of. I’ve learned so much simply by reading these and letting the words sink into my own consciousness. It is as if I’ve gained an important insight about the complexity of how this distance factor works through your experience. Thank you very much for sharing.
