Elizabeth Watts
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Thanks for your thoughtful reply, Colin. Many of your questions resonate with me as well. I love that you are ready to begin anyway….Best of luck!
That sounds like a very good comparison, Rosie. Looking back and remembering how you felt at the beginning of that venture is a great way to remind yourself that you will most likely one day be an experienced meditation instructor as well!
I do feel prepared to offer instruction to another person if asked. The weekly practice sessions have helped me feel comfortable giving the instructions, and Susan’s advice and experiences have helped me feel more at ease with the idea of sharing this with other folks. I have been receiving the instructions for so many years that it kind of feels like an extension of all those times when I share them with another. I find myself speaking from a place that feels beyond my own words, and I guess that is part of the transmission piece. It feels good to be able to pass that on.
The one thing that may be missing is my understanding of how teaching meditation will be implemented in my life, though I do feel this will come with time. I have been trying to let go of the idea of any certain outcome to this course, and just be in the moment and enjoy the weekly assignments and classes. Without any goal in mind, I can allow what is meant to be to unfold. I have only just begun to accept this idea. It takes some of the pressure off of having to know how I will use this training.
Money is a sensitive issue for many people. It has always been up to me to make my own way, and I have been fortunate to be in a career that has offered me stability in that regard. However, as a self-employed woman in a high profile field, I have felt like I have to justify my position and earnings. This year, things are shifting with my work, and I thought what better time than now to delve into other interests that might offer me fulfillment and income streams in the future. Enter meditation teacher training. I do not have any set plans to set up shop as a meditation instructor, but who knows what the future holds.
I have always believed that if I work hard and follow my heart the next step will unfold. So far that has worked for me, and in this uncertain world, it has been a practice. I have not really thought about the structure of income in this future possibility, but I definitely think that we should be compensated for sharing our knowledge and energy. I agree with what folks said in class last week that an energetic exchange is important to avoid imbalances.
However, I also believe that the Dharma is a gift, and so many people can’t afford to take classes and retreats. It would be important to me to have some kind of a sliding scale or pro bono aspect to any model I might create, but being clear about fees and expectations would be paramount to avoid confusion or resentment.
Thanks for your thoughtful essay, Susan. You put this sensitive issue in a very positive and straightforward way. We do need to be able to earn a living, and if we are giving a service, it is good and right to be able to charge for it. I like your take on the ethics of it too.
I agree, Erin that it is too often an expectation that things like meditation instruction should be given without compensation. I’m not sure what this stems from, but I agree that we all should be compensated for our offerings. It is confusing to try to figure out how much is appropriate, and I would prefer to know in advance what is expected of me in such situations.
Hi Jo,
I appreciate your descriptive language as to how a learning environment can be comfortable and open vs sterile and closed. Sounds like you would create a beautiful environment as a teacher!Hi Erin,
I completely relate with your thoughts on learning environments. I also found out that I am probably predominantly social drive, as I find the learning environments enhanced by the relationships with students and teachers. I had a similar experience in my upper level undergrad at a small university. Those seminars with 10 or so people were very impactful on my life. I also find disconnection difficult in the learning environment. Thanks for sharing!I agree with many of the comments that an ideal learning environment is based on a sense of some physical comfort and safety. The teacher must set the container in which the students can explore their own thoughts and absorb the facts and principles being taught. However, there must be a sense of willingness on the part of the students to go beyond what they already know and meet the teacher in that vulnerable space of learning something new.
There have been many times that I stretched myself out of my comfort zone, when the excitement of the subject matter or teacher helped me to really learn and grow. I remember my first real job after college. I was assistant to a dynamic sales manager of a garden statuary company. My job was to help keep the office organized and book his travel schedule. I liked the environment of the office, the other salespeople, who were all young adults like me, and the work. However I was not at all interested in becoming a salesperson myself. My boss had other ideas. Slowly but surely, he introduced ideas and strategies of being a successful salesperson. He was never too demanding, but kept suggesting I take part in trade shows and calling on clients. I began to see that I could possibly stretch myself and do the more well-paying job. Funny enough, sales has been a large part of my entire career, and I owe him a lot of thanks for my success.
On the other side, I have been in several very uncomfortable learning environments. Often if I’m bored by the subject matter or not engaging with the teacher I check out and sometimes even drop out. I have started a few online programs and failed to finish due to the austerity of that teaching environment. Without feedback from fellow students or the teacher, it’s easy to lose interest. However, involvement with others and feedback from the teacher helps keep the excitement going through the learning process.
This is an interesting topic. I have not had what I would describe as an official teacher on the Buddhist path, beyond my teachers through reading and studying the dharma. As a young practitioner, I often longed for a person to fill this role. The closest I came to it was a senior teacher in my local sangha who offered to be a meditation instructor. That person was a kind of friend to begin with, so it was confusing to me how to relate in the role of student. I don’t know what her perspective was, but I found it to be uncomfortable in the following ways:
Too remote: After the initial invitation to be the student, I did not know how I was supposed to connect. There didn’t seem to be guidelines as to how often we would get together to talk about my practice, and I felt silly initiating this contact. I also felt judged whenever I mentioned my discomfort and blocks with the practice.
Too close: We had lunch a few times, which were most likely just friend lunches in her mind. But to me, the relationship was a strange mixture of friend/teacher, which I didn’t know how to navigate. In those meetings she shared personal anecdotes about her early experiences with her senior teacher. These stories crossed a line for me, and contained what seemed to me to be bad behavior and not the kind of example I would like to follow. To be honest they really turned me off to the idea of having a teacher at all.
So I guess the moral of the story is to have clear boundaries with potential students of my own. This is as important for the student as for the teacher. I wouldn’t offer a lot of personal anecdotes, unless they directly relate and seem helpful the student. I probably wouldn’t offer to teach meditation to a friend or family member. I would endeavor to create a strong container so the student feels cared about but not invited into a deeper friendship, which can cause confusion. I would also try to be aware of how telling them about my own experiences could negatively affect them, and try to set that aside so they could have their own experiences free of my baggage.
Thank you for sharing your stories, Kat. They beautifully illustrate these 2 extremes. I am sorry for your loss on both accounts, as these are tricky, emotional circumstances many of us face. I have not had the kind of close experiences with teachers that you describe, though I have often wished for them. I wonder if I am keeping myself remote in order to avoid these kind of losses. I think you have been very brave to continue to open yourself to teachers and opportunities in spite of it all.
Thanks so much for your thoughts on this, Niki. I appreciate your vulnerability around your challenges with the more focused Paramitas. It sounds like you give and do a lot and that many of your doubts are perhaps habitual patterns of thinking that could be outmoded. How beautiful that you are working with your mind and seeing how you are applying theses challenging principles!
Hi Allison, I can relate to your observations that you feel both connected and disconnected from the Paramitas, and perhaps we see this in somewhat the same way. I believe it is all about how we look at each of these transcendent qualities, and how they manifest in different areas of our lives. It is that addition of Prajna/Wisdom that makes these qualities more than just ordinary generosity, patience, etc. In following that higher directive, we can see them as part of our spiritual practice, and not just more on the “to-do list.”
I find Generosity the most complex for me, because I grew up in a poverty-mentality family, and that sense of not having or being enough has followed me into adulthood. I have identified a habit in myself of striving to be what others want me to be, and I feel like that is connected to a sense of personal poverty. I strive to be aware of those feeling when they arise and work with being genuine instead of people-pleasing.
In my adult life I have been very fortunate to have found a good career that gives me a sense of financial stability and abundance. I have worked hard to create a stable financial environment for my family. It seems to come easily to me, and I have many resources. However, I still find myself struggling with the idea of abundance, and fear of it all going away in the future is always at hand.
I truly enjoy being able to give money to charitable organizations, people and causes. I have found myself in a position, time and again, where I am able to help family members, and I usually respond with an open hand. However, that kind of generosity has to be tempered by wisdom. I have learned that a hand-out is not always the same as helping someone.
Discipline is the one that comes the most easily to me. I am a creative person who likes structure. This leads me to be highly productive most of the time. I love to have a schedule for my day, which includes yoga, meditation, self care, caring for my family and rest/recreation. I have struggled with discipline when it comes to my meditation practice, but if I incorporate it into my daily schedule, I find that I am more likely to do it regularly. When my schedule gets off, that’s when I falter with the daily meditation discipline. I also work with my mind throughout the day, and that helps me to stay grounded in my practice.
Hi Rosie, Thanks for sharing your uncertainty about the meditation instruction last week. I can certainly relate to realizing I left things out as well. I agree that practice will make it easier. My partner and I did take a moment to give each other feedback, so maybe you can add that in next time. It was really helpful.
