Cheryl Finley
Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Hi, Mary Beth. Your words “Whenever I feel safe, have trust, and where vulnerability does not bring judgment, that is ideal for learning.” You describe in a nutshell, the way I feel also. Yes! (Thank you for the book recommendation.) — And, how precious that you had that with your late husband, Terry; and that you learned so much from him in a loving, caring, environment of acceptance. My condolences to you, on the passing of your husband.
And bravo to you for making-good… for you and the students, in a less than ideal learning/teaching environment. And, bringing acceptance to the unexpected. What an admirable environment (intention) and gift to bring to that situation. Thank you so much for sharing your rich experiences, insight and wisdom. 🙂
Hi Melanie. 🙂 Your description of retreats with Susan, at her home make me feel like I was right there. Your every word painted a felt-sense experience. And, including the details of what Susan taught on Saturday, allowed me to be re-minded, and learn again of the details and their importance. — Regarding, the less-than-ideal learning environment. Wow. Glad you survived, and learned a lot, despite not very much joy. 🙂
Hi Colin. Oh, what treasures you’ve shared. The depth and breadth of what your dad taught you through hands-on experiences of such a variety, from the metal, wood and plants, and the biology of the forest (wow!); and which tools to use. I can see that all that he taught you equipped you with essential ways of problem solving, and ways of thinking & processing that became unique to you. Your appreciation of that shines through radiantly in your “I would sum it up..” paragraph, as well as your entire essay. It’s all so very rich!
I agree, re: this training as an ideal learning environment for me too. An established, sensitive teacher, a container of safety, pacing of learning & assignments, opportunity to share, to be heard in class as well as to share here. All good.
Your less-than-ideal learning environment presented many layers of challenges. I’m so glad you got through it, and that all of the multi-faceted learning from your dad were a solid foundation for that. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. 🙂
Hi Mary Beth. Ohh… I’m so glad that you were right in the kitchen too; and glad that you appreciated the context. That makes me smile, and I’m glad and blessed that you were delighted! Thank you 🙂
Hi Melanie 🙂 Thank you so much for your response. I cannot tell you how wonderful it feels to hear your response, as it allows me to experience what I shared, in a unique way that I cannot yet describe. Maybe, it’s because through your feeling and appreciation of it, I’m able to pan-back, and feel and see it from a witness point of view. And, I agree, re: the sweet, tenderness of feeling our parents’ presence through our eyes and hands in something that they’ve taught us. My heart is warm and glad that you know that experience as well. Thank you so much for sharing. 🙂 :>
Hi Colin. Thank you! I am delighted that you enjoyed the my sharing, and the beautiful way you described my experience, and my parents’ love of life…and teaching. I’m so glad that it has pointed you toward sharing of your own family learning environment. And. how uncanny that both of our dads share the enjoyment of the same, and similar interests! That makes me smile. Thank you, Colin, for your open heart. I look forward to reading your sharing, via your essay. 😊🌻
Hi Rosie. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I’m glad you had such a “good vibes” experience and enviroment with your MBSR course. With your vipassana experience, I’m thankful you were finally able to get away, and return to a space & place of feeling safe. And despite it all, your heart was, apparently, still open..that you could return to meditation and our training here. So glad to be here with you, and our co-participants.❤️✨️
- Ideal Learning Environment:
Hands on…being taught by my mother the foundations & principles of old-school, home-cooking & baking (i.e. stove, no microwave; no dump & mix process); good old pots & pans & the reasons behind the process. My mother’s teaching was simple, practical in the how & why, as well as it related to daily living, such as measuring (as one example).
I can hear her now, teaching me that 2/3-cup was just a little more than 1/2-cup. This came in handy when we didn’t have an official 1 cup measure with markings, but we had a cup we used that = 1 cup, but with no markings (hope this makes sense) ; so.. it was easy to see 1/2-cup, and if recipe called for 2/3-cup, it was easy to see that adding a little more would be 2/3-cup (but not quite 3/4-cup).
This type of came in handy whether we were talking about measuring for baking, cutting a a sheet cake; (or on another note, her teaching that a yard (36 inches) of fabric was “basically”.. the measure from the tip of the shoulder to the edge of the fingers (of a teenager or adult), when a measuring tape was not available.
My mom knew how to make things relatable, and teach the nuances of cooking, baking, sewing, caring for plants & flowers…as well as the thoughtfulness, compassion & her generous heart, because she loved it… and she loved sharing what she knew, and made. My dad was the same way with his woodworking, carpentry, inventiveness, and gardening. This created an ideal learning environment!
- Less Than Ideal:
Decades ago, working with a specific professional organizer a few times to try & get myself organized, to declutter, the aim to get into a daily rhythm at home, after the work day and handle all responsibilities in an orderly, peaceful way; to not be daunted by it all.
We organized papers & put things into like-categories, filed things away, made an index of where things were; and she left me with a spreadsheet i.e schedule, each 15-minute block filled-in with a task. I was in a greater & different kind of anxiety after she left, than before she came. As she explained my assignment, it created constriction in my throat and heart and felt like there was something wrong with me that I couldn’t do it….
At the time, neither of us didn’t know, what we didn’t know. I have since learned & garnered much self-understanding, and I keep that in mind, foremost, before getting on board with anything from hobbies, social gatherings, to classes & other means of learning.
… It wasn’t until years later through my ever-evolving spiritual journey and passion for it, that I became aware that it was not my nature to do things that way; as well as other areas of living, too. I became more aware of what was my nature and began to honor that!❤️✨️
Hi Jersey. I see that I mistakenly typed my response to Susan, here.. lol (I think I did.)- So now, my response to you: Thank you so very much for your response. I too, smile & benefit from your presence, open heart & sharing in class. — How lovely for you to reflect.. & give back to me in clear, concise, nugget form.. what you received from my share.
I appreciate you doing that You’ve helped me see that clearly, too; I will note it in my journal too.😊 It’s another example of giving & receiving, being one. Thank you. ❤️✨️
Hi, Susan… Thank you.. and from my view, because I “let go” and trusted… The Universe, Spirit, the Dharma (?)… handled it; abd I am grateful! Thank you, Susan. for sharing your celebration & heart..❤️✨️
Hi, Lauren. I appreciate your sharing and the framing of ‘values, mission and commitment’ as the container(s) to establish and preserve the appropriate balance between being connected & caring, while remaining compassionately close-but-ajar.
I also recognize the value of intention as container, as well. I appreciate that your sharing has given me much richness for further contemplation, discovery, and integration. 😊✨️I’ve not experienced this in a formal classroom environment, yet in reltionship with people close to me, i.e. my son and a dear friend (since age 15)..an ongoing partnerrship and invitation of teaching/learning. Life-class, so to speak.
I’m thinking of the experience of preparing to sell my then-home in IL for the move to GA, all within four months (although seed-ideas were planted years prior) my heart’s aim was to arrive in GA, by end of October, which I arrived 10/23.
Anecdote & Insights:
What, at an unmindful glance, could’ve been received as not caring, or indifference (all of which are my skewed mental & emotional outlook at the time); and even though I had an inner response from that point of view, intuitively, I knew their response was from a place of trust, knowing I was spuritually grounded and that the answers, the insight I needed would be revealed within me, within my heart. That’s not to say it was easy to handle in the moment, however……That, in turn, caused me to reflect on that more deeply,engage in spiritual practice (meditation, contemplation, prayer, writing, communing it nature and being in like-minded community (sangha).. to remember, experince stabilize what my heart & soul already knew.
…Even in their at their initial, seeming-remote response, I received their verbal support, encouragement, encouraging songs & videos; as well as in-person support, love & thoughtfulness. It was a lesson in strengthening myself to rest in knowing that regardless of how it looked and looks at times, I had my part, my actions to take, and also Right Thinking which seemed to open the gate in ny mind to see and experience the “just right” dynamic if not too close, not too far.
This is still going on within me. Navigating, working with my mind via meditation and other spiritual practice, so “being with” comes from a state of mindfulness-awareness, sooner.❤️✨️
Hi, Dejuna…
The paramita of generosity resonates for me too, and I appreciate that you highlight “generosity of listening”; practicing with the intention of allowing others to feel heard and supported.. could/would be helpful, I think. This aspect of it felt a bit like loving-kindness &/or compassion, for me… as well. I too, am familiar with the “just like me” practice. Thank you for sharing it here, I see how it fits and could benefit both, as well. 🙂