Caitlin Winter

[Caitlin Winter]

I am a little bit behind in our course as I’ve had a friend experience very difficult times.

In this response I will explore that briefly and give a trigger warning for suicide and self harm.

The difficulty I have been facing recently has been like no other I’ve faced and has really put the first noble truth on a huge platform: life is suffering. My friend has been extremely suffering to the point that I had to make calls to police and ambulance to respond to an attempt on their life. The trauma of this suffering has rippled out towards all of their friends and family and been a severely stressful experience for all involved.
The extent of her suffering made me question my choice to try and fall pregnant – do I really want to bring a life into a world where there is indeed so much suffering, no matter the external or internal conditions, there will be immense suffering.

And yet, if you choose to not have suffering , you choose not to have life – where by choice during your life or for me right now choosing whether or not to create life. Life and suffering are indeed two sides of the same coin. And if I can choose the right action, to help my friend in their time of greatest need, calling in supports, reuniting them with family, providing them housing and a social calendar – I am choosing life to coexist with suffering rather than allow life to be extinguished all together. So for my own personal quest about whether a new life should happen in the expectant fate of suffering, this situation makes me realise I choose life coexisting with suffering rather than no life at all.

Right actions have been the most important thing for me to do in the immediate after care as they have been critical to my friend’s survival. The right actions have had to be firm, kind, tough, gentle. They have had to be rooted in the right view – seeing clearly what is needed moment to moment.

Life is suffering. But suffering gives a new life.

[Caitlin Winter]

I felt your description of chosen lineage ring deeply true for me. I grew up in theatre groups as well. They were fleeting as you described but the essence of connectedness was still very strong for that brief moment.

[Caitlin Winter]

I have not entirely created a meditation space as I’ve moved houses just before starting this course and am adjusting to getting two cats tl live together and also live with a step son for the first time, so I’ve had to be flexible with when and where I do my meditation.
However my partner almost intuitively has set up little shrines all around the house with beautiful trinkets, stones and statues we’ve both collected over the years. He is not a meditator but has a reverence for creating little peaceful spaces of beauty like cascading fairy lights and candles. That’s helped me feel like my meditation space is all throughout my new home.

My lineage feels like the people I most connect with. They are artists, the queer community, the First Nations community, activists, the empaths and compassionates and sincere, genuine, deep and light people. I dont have a religious lineage and my biological lineage is fraught and fragmented. But as I find out more about my biological family tree i find there are peoole I am related to who are in the groups I mentioned above, queer, activist, teachers and artists.

i think Susan Piver is a part of my lineage as the way she communicates and examples she uses always connects, makes sense and has allowed me to broaden my mine and open my heart.

[Caitlin Winter]

Yuma (hello) everyone
My name is Caitlin and I live in Canberra, Australia! I have just moved house so coming to the content a bit slowly.

Yuma is hello in the Ngunnawal language, the Aboriginal people who are the traditional custodians of the land of the Australian Capital Territory.

I might not be able to connect with you directly due to the time zone difference but hope to contribute online 🙂

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