Mike McCabe
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Nearly all of the Buddhist teaching that I have received was drawn from Tibetan Buddhism, so that is my lineage. More specifically, many of my teachers trace their lineages back through Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche.
This understanding of my lineage has helped me practice more diligently, more consistently, and with effort and discipline, because I feel a sense of responsibility to respect the gift of the dharma that I have received “for no good reason” as far as I can tell. Tracing my lineage back through this path is a source of humility, wonder and awe. How is it that I am so fortunate to find myself here? I have no idea.
I draw on my lineage to maintain my shrine too. Chants that I recite as part of my meditation practice come from this same Nyingma lineage. I try to remember to thank all the teachers and practitioners who have come before me, doing so much heavy lifting and writing for my benefit.
I spent the first 20 or so years of my life following Catholic doctrine. It was both a cultural and spiritual requirement for me. My immediate family was very firm on this. I had two uncles who were priests and two aunts who were nuns, so Catholicism permeated our family like incense. For the most part I was okay with this, although as I moved through my teenage years I became more resentful of the guilt imposed by dogma that seemed more and more rigid. After high school I decided to take a break and stopped being observant.
I didn’t shift toward nihilism at this (or any other) point. I continued to hold onto an eternalistic understanding of spirituality. Although I got married in a Catholic service, and both of my children were baptized Catholic, I was just a lapsed Catholic and continued to identify as such until sometime in 2018 when I read several Thich Nhat Hanh books.
These TNH books sparked my curiosity and I began to read other books about Buddhism. In 2021 I was given Susan Piver’s “Start Here Now” book as required reading for my yoga teacher training class, and began my (mostly) daily meditation practice. I took the Refuge Vow in 2023.
I never flirted with nihilism, perhaps because I had been so thoroughly imprinted with eternalism as a younger man. The idea that there were no spiritual phenomena beyond my limited conceptions has always felt narrow, limiting and self-centered. And the eternalistic approach felt more and more like a human construct intended to impose order and hierarchy.
Through my meditation practice and trying to stay open, my own awareness and experiences have reinforced the idea that this middle part is the “right” one.
Hi Susan. Good reminder that silence can create a space for discovery. As teachers we don’t need to fill every empty space with words. We can allow for ideas and thoughts to arise without a running commentary. Thanks!
Hi Stina. I like your reminder about asking questions to support discovery. I have noticed that when a meditation practitioner asks a teacher a question, a skillful teacher will often turn the question back to the practitioner, asking the practitioner, “What do you think?” This encourages the practitioner to embark on a mini-discovery journey, to see for themselves what their own experience might tell them.
For me, discovery seems to happen more when I drop my expectations. With fewer expectations, or desired outcomes, there can be an opening or a creation of more space for things to arise AND more space for me to notice that something has arisen. If I have expectations for something to happen or for some particular outcome, my focus is there and I often miss things because my attention is elsewhere. Of course, this is also much easier said than done. 🙂
I also find that trying to maintain a “beginner’s mind” (acknowleging that I don’t actually know everything) and cultivating a sense of curiosity opens me up to discovery. I think this is also because it enhances my awareness and allows for the space for things to emerge.
I have found that with practice I have been able to pull this off a little more frequently, although some days I certainly am more open than others. Having a sense of humor helps me reduce or avoid the self-criticism that tries to budge in when I inevitably revert to well-developed habits that impede awareness and discovery.
Hello everyone! My name is Mike McCabe and I’m delighted to join you in this program of exploration and discovery. During our first meeting yesterday I could feel the energy of our group, and I look forward to working with you as we all move forward together. I am a retired economist and I live in the Washington DC area. I’ve been meditating for a few years now, and I’m curious to see what emerges in my practice from this training. Wonderful to meet you all! Be well.
PS: email is mikemccabe32@gmail.com