Suzie Amelia Kline
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I’m grateful we are exploring how to incorporate lineage into our practice, and that it is wide-ranging—it can be anything that is mysterious, that we can’t fully understand and that is greater than just ourselves. Susan’s explanation of lineage sounds a lot like the notion of God that I pray to and ask blessing of, both on and off the cushion. Although I have struggled to name that connection, I’ve “secretly” referred to it as God.
Since I’ve been inconsistent in my inclusion of God, it feels wonderful to have some structure about how to ask for blessings. Recently, I’ve waited until the end of my practice to do so. It’s seemed that I needed to get quiet before knowing what to ask for. I am currently trying this new approach, and don’t have enough experience to say how it’s going yet.
I’ve worried that my practice, has been inconsistent with Shamatha, since I believe in God. But now I feel affirmed and free to include other lineages that I am strongly connected to.
My grandparents were remarkable in their own ways. I received my creative drive, my sense of personal power and confidence from them. I know I can continue to receive their teachings and guidance daily, if I remain open to them.
Perhaps this seems a bit unconventional, but my therapist, who I’ve worked with for some time, brings his teachers’ work into our meetings. He has often reminded me that the work he does simply comes through him, a continual line of wisdom, deep spirituality, and giving. These are qualities I’m committed to bringing forward into my life, and feel comfortable leaning into my therapist/teacher and his lineage. This will be a new element of my Shamatha practice that I’m eager to employ.
Years ago, I had a solo art show that I had to create a body of work for. I had a practice that enabled me to make paintings and collages spontaneously and with confidence. I credit much of my success to a Native American ritual where I invoked the four cardinal directions and asked the Spirit to support me. Occasionally, I will still light sage, but much of the practice has fallen away. I now see my Native American practice as a lineage that I am a part of and also an aspect of God.
I know there are other lineages I can name for myself. I feel a profound sense of connection with artists, writers, other spiritual directors and their teachers, all of whom have supported me. I feel woven into the natural world, which is another lineage I call upon regularly. And I am grateful for being able to name these various lineages where I can draw strength from daily.
I am commiting this to memory: Every time I realize I’m thinking and gently escort my awareness back to the breath, I practice being kind to myself. It is a reminder that compassion is as close as the breath. I am deeply moved by your capacity to allow yourself to be transformed through the Noble Truths, and our practice. And I aspire to this: celebrate everything as practice. I thirst to hear more about how this may show up in your life.
Betsy, thank you for your honest sharing. I am currently visiting my 90 year old parents and so many feelings, issues, and concerns arise for me. What I learn from watching them is not dissimilar from what you describe: keep going amidst the suffering of ageing. It is inspiring to hear ways you move forward in your life, despite inevitable concerns and lonliness. You recognize the goodness in your life. Gratitude = Buoyancy. I struggle with my ageing body and not being able to remember names as quickly before. The former is especially formidable! 🙏🏻
MTT Essay 2
Suffering. It’s almost too painful to deeply contemplate the first Noble Truth. Its presence is so prevalent throughout my days, and my power over it, at times, seems limited.
The first Noble Truth acknowledges all the manner of suffering we experience. Life is suffering, as Susan, said. She also used “dissatisfaction” as a synonym. This definition works for me as it feels more malleable, like something I can more readily acknowledge.
Most significantly, in the article we read for this week, our task is to learn to tolerate and accept suffering and not be overwhelmed by it.
Easier said than done.
In my own life, accepting life “on life’s terms” has been an area of great reflection and attention. I notice my tendency to resist people, places, thing or situations that I don’t want, or that I wish were different. First there’s am internal “no”, then (emotional) fists are at the ready. Anger inevitably arises. In my 12 step recovery of over a decade, I frequently return to a passage that explores the concept of acceptance, understanding that it is the basis of living a peaceful life. The serenity prayer which begins with “(God) grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, ” is said at every recovery meeting I’ve ever attended.
A brief look at my morning yesterday illustrates the ease with which I enter into a moment of suffering.
-I check the weather. We will have heavy rain this week. My first reaction is that my freshly coifed dog will look end up looking like a wet rat. And then oh no! My flight to Florida will be delayed! Here, just the potential of encountering unwanted situations causes suffering.
-Next, I realize I have to pre-treat the laundry. I resist what I don’t want. I mentally struggle and finally do the job. Fortunately, I was able to apply calm energy to the job once I started it!
-Knowing that the podiatrist appointment is a full day away, I begin to resist beginning my day with a doctor’s appointment, rather than undertaking my normal routine. And worrying about whether I should actually see the doctor was another form of suffering.
Clearly, I am in the correct place by making a deep dive into a process—this MTT training–that can help me continue to acknowledge the pain I cause myself by non-acceptance of the challenging feelings that arise when I resist what is. My hope is that bringing greater awareness to my feelings, along with intention to accept and not judge them through our practices along with a willingness to challenge them, will lead me to greater peace. And when I struggle, it is helpful to remember this quote by Pema Chodron: “The first Noble Truth of the Buddha is that when we feel suffering, it doesn’t mean something is wrong. What a relief.” This quote reminds me that my suffering is not unique nor is it a problem to be solved. Suffering is universal, and simply a part of life that we learn to accommodate.
Helene, the “infinity of silence”. Draws me toward the practice with wonder and awe! And devotion as a singing heart!
Ginny, I hear you saying that among other beautiful people and experiences in your life, you are devoted to our current MTT path and to staying open to your learning with curiosity. I appreciate your comments and experience about “throwing all (your) energy behind a single teacher. Wise discernment, and I appreciate that you explicitly stated this.
Gwen, thank you for your openness, your willingness to be vulnerable. It hurts to hear about your early insults by your childhood religious experiences, corrupt clergy, and more. You are courageous to open your heart to the possibility of greater paths of devotion in your life. How beautiful that you have a community of support to relieve trauma. Your devotion to your group, and their devotion to you is truly palpable.
Some years ago, I developed a mission statement: to serve the God of Love, Peace, and Compassion through creative acts and devotion. I see God as ultimate teacher, to whom I am unequivocally devoted. The dictionary meaning of devotion includes the words love and loyalty. God is at the center of my devotional life; the God of my understanding also appears in humans and places, events, and activities.
I have a meditation teacher. She brought me to the path of Shamatha and I am devoted to her–that is I love her and am loyal to our relationship. I am also devoted to my OHP circle. I both love and am devoted to the group. The same can be said for my life partner, my family, dearest friends, my unique spiritual path, which includes my work, my personal healing, my art and other creative expression. Devotion seems to be reserved for the most intimate aspects of my life. And an essential part of my devotional practice is to expand the locus of my devotion.
I am devoted to dance, to my walks in the woods near my home. When I consider these, along with activities like my morning meditation and lighting candles on Friday nights, I begin to approach what it means to cultivate devotion. It is about identifying what is meaningful and staying with it, a commitment over time. Devotion is something we can grow. The more I do it, the more meaningful the object of my devotion becomes. Devotion is a practice that is a behavior, an attitude, and a thought,
For me, devotion is possible even when it feels difficult to love or to want to be loyal. After an argument with a friend, it can be hard to feel love, or a desire to be loyal, but it is devotion, perhaps a kind of faith and trust that can keep me connected. I will hang in there and work through the challenge. Sometimes I want to run from difficulty, but my devotion keeps me from running.
And it is my desire to live in devotion to something bigger, greater than me. I return to how I began: I devote myself to God as service. Perhaps finding myself here again, remembering my mission will remind me to not give up or give in when I feel discouraged. I will embrace life’s challenges, and expand my capacity to accept, and then transcend them.
Hi from Bethesda, Maryland. I’m thrilled to be here and looking forward to expanding my practice, deepening my understanding of Buddhism and teaching others our practice. I’m a spiritual director who works with individuals with diverse beliefs. My OHP circle has inspired me greatly. I write and am an artist. I live with the lovely Miles, and our devoted bichon frise, Jet.