Ann Harmon

[Ann Harmon]

Somehow when I sit in meditation with different feelings, my meditation practice helps me get to the compassion and diffuses my anger. It’s as though that knot of anger in my chest melts away as I come back again and again to the present moment.

I get really angry at the election situation. I have friends who like the opposite candidate. The anger and disillusionment feels terrible. When I meditate, particularly a loving kindness meditation, the anger softens and because Im wishing them well, I remember that they are loving compassionate beings.
I hope this plug is okay.
Sam Harris has a podcast “Eight Things I’m doing To Stay Sane During Election Season” from August 9. Search for it on Apple Podcasts. Susan did a great interview with him also about the Enneagram.

[Ann Harmon]

Dominic, I really appreciate your response. I feel exactly the same way. True egolessness, except for brief monuments, is for the most part beyond me. Ann

[Ann Harmon]

That was lovely Gwen. I have always liked the idea of hope and have quite a few things wrong with me yet I hope. Thanks you.

[Ann Harmon]

I was reading “The Three Basis Facts of Existanct” on egolessness. Is is something I strive for but have found impossible so far in my life, except for brief periods. Maybe the fact that I used the word “strive” is not appropriate. I care about myself and what happens to me. It took work to care about the self. I have had brief periods of egolessness with my children trying to keep them safe and happy. But I’m afraid in examining that that I’m grasping for their safety and happiness so I am happy and have them with me. I will continue my study of Buddhism and help people and perhaps along the way I will discover true egolessness. It for the most part is a yet.

[Ann Harmon]

Thank you Christine. I loved what you wrote. Yes, inner wisdom. I must listen to that more. I too struggled to make a choice of a painful experience. I tend to focus more on the joys of life and the inner happiness I feel most of the time.

Ann

[Ann Harmon]

Dear Susie, how beautiful your words are. I loved your exploration as well as questioning how you could’ve fell for joy at your wedding and at the same time deep grief from the loss of your father. Thank you for your words.
Ann

[Ann Harmon]

When I was married to my first husband, I learned he was having affairs with previous wives (yes wives) and girlfriends. My first reaction was tears and anger, as well as fear. I decided to ask for a divorce. I had met him at 18 and was eight years younger than him. He slowly let go of his control and I began drinking after work with people from the office. Slowly it became the focus of my life. It helped me avoid feeling. I could imagine I was happy most of the time. It was only when I came into a twelve step program that I was able to shed the tears, and feel compassion for myself as well as to look at my past with real understanding and sadness. And find true happiness as a human being among fellow humans.

I still react with anger, but with meditation and learning how I think, I can move past the anger to tears, and compassion for myself and also to make space to have compassion for others in my life, and in the world. I’m learning another way.

[Ann Harmon]

Betsy, I really love the ritual of tapping the light shoulder for your living lineage and your left for the ones no longer here. How beautiful that is,. Where did that come from? I like the idea of a song or mantra. Thank you.

[Ann Harmon]

Allison, thank you for your lovely response. I love and identify with different lineages coming up, perhaps each time you meditate. Self-compassion is a tough one for me also it is good for me to keep that in mind. I am hardest on myself. Thanks

[Ann Harmon]

I have been lucky enough to be in other classes with Susan and try to make my requests of blessings from a lineage that includes Thick Nhat Hanh, The Dali Llama, the Buddha, Diane, my energy healing teacher, Colleen, Rodney and Jessica, my primary yoga teachers, BKS Isengar, Deshikachar, my mother. I ask for blessings in the form of what I need to be a better person, a happier person, be it may I be satisfied with my good life, may I forgive those who have wronged me. Etc. My lineage changes according to who comes to mind as I begin to meditate. There are so many in my lineage because I have many different lives.Yoga, Meditation, Buddhism study, energy healing, 12 steps and friendships, my marriage,etc,. I believe all is okay. There are no wrongs.

[Ann Harmon]

Kelly, you are not alone. I struggled with the article also. Maybe I haven’t studied long enough to have the comprehension of what he was saying. But I felt the deep caring of Tulku Thondup Rinpoche Sometimes I have to read something like this and then when I learn more reread it and gradually things become clear.

[Ann Harmon]

Betsy, I identify with you. Thank you so much for making yourself vulnerable. I means a lot to hear your struggles with health and aging. I feel the same way, although I am lucky. I have my soul mate. I just want to change him all the time. Haha. We go on and we seek ways to be content by studying Buddhism, etc.

[Ann Harmon]

There is definitely self-inflicted suffering in my life. Because of my devotion to my meditation practice I am learning how I think. My go-to thoughts are “why don’t I have that?, If I do this or that it will fix me and I will be content forever, Why is my friend, husband etc, thinking so differently from me because I’m right? Why is the driver ahead of me going 20mph below the speed limit? Etc, etc, etc.”.
I believe part of that is the very humane negativity bias, and partly because my focus goes to what is lacking instead of the incredible abundance I have in my life.
So I continue to sit on the cushion day after day and study the four Noble Truths because there is a solution. Bringing my focus back to the next breath, or what I am doing, I am content for a while. I love this quote
“A Zen master is nothing more than someone who has repeatedly screwed up and eventually learned something. We can do the same.” Mark Van Buren.

[Ann Harmon]

Dominic, I loved your response the the question this week. I feel the same way. It is all about love and compassion. I also learn from teachers of the past as well as many other teachers of Buddhist Dharma. Thanks for your lovely comments.

[Ann Harmon]

I loved your response Allison. As a yoga teacher also, I loved my primary teachers, but I also loved learning different aspects of yoga or dharma from many other teachers. They taught me about the Teacher within. Thanks for your lovely words.

[Author]

Posts