WEEK SEVEN ESSAY
- This topic has 112 replies, 34 voices, and was last updated 5 hours, 12 minutes ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
-
My ideal learning environment experience: In 2005, I took a Mindfulness-Based Stress Relief course. It was 8 weeks, 2.5 hours each week. It was a small group, about eight women, and the teacher was very gentle, funny, and wise. The space was the upstairs room of a bookstore called Breathe Books, very cozy and good vibes.
My less than ideal learning environment experience (ooh, is that an understatement!): In 2013, I signed up for a 10-day Vipassana retreat. We weren’t allowed to speak or even make eye contact with anyone. The schedule was grueling. The lodgings were such that I became severely sleep-deprived, to the point where on the fifth day, I was practically hallucinating, and I decided I needed to leave. They had taken our phones and car keys upon arrival, and when I went to tell a staff person that I needed to leave, she told me that I had to get permission from the teacher before they’d give me my keys and phone back! This colored my experience of meditating to the point where I took months before I was willing to sit again. (I know that many people have wonderful experiences with Vipassana retreats, and find it very valuable. It just wasn’t right for me.)-
Hi Rosie. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I’m glad you had such a “good vibes” experience and enviroment with your MBSR course. With your vipassana experience, I’m thankful you were finally able to get away, and return to a space & place of feeling safe. And despite it all, your heart was, apparently, still open..that you could return to meditation and our training here. So glad to be here with you, and our co-participants.❤️✨️
-
Rosie, so sorry you had a bad time @ Vipassana. I know those retreats well, and try to do 1/year, or at very least to assist me with big transitions. There are definitely differing opinions, and recently some very bad stories about them. Very good to hear you found your way back to meditation in a way that does suits you, and that you may now go ahead and Teach others as well. Win! 🙂
-
-
Hi Rosie, your bookstore venue sounds like a lovely place to learn with like-minded people. On the other hand, your retreat scenario made me think of the instinctive drives Susan outlined today, and in that situation it seems none of them would be met for anyone. I don’t think I could tolerate that environment either!
-
-
-
-
-
-
- Ideal Learning Environment:
Hands on…being taught by my mother the foundations & principles of old-school, home-cooking & baking (i.e. stove, no microwave; no dump & mix process); good old pots & pans & the reasons behind the process. My mother’s teaching was simple, practical in the how & why, as well as it related to daily living, such as measuring (as one example).
I can hear her now, teaching me that 2/3-cup was just a little more than 1/2-cup. This came in handy when we didn’t have an official 1 cup measure with markings, but we had a cup we used that = 1 cup, but with no markings (hope this makes sense) ; so.. it was easy to see 1/2-cup, and if recipe called for 2/3-cup, it was easy to see that adding a little more would be 2/3-cup (but not quite 3/4-cup).
This type of came in handy whether we were talking about measuring for baking, cutting a a sheet cake; (or on another note, her teaching that a yard (36 inches) of fabric was “basically”.. the measure from the tip of the shoulder to the edge of the fingers (of a teenager or adult), when a measuring tape was not available.
My mom knew how to make things relatable, and teach the nuances of cooking, baking, sewing, caring for plants & flowers…as well as the thoughtfulness, compassion & her generous heart, because she loved it… and she loved sharing what she knew, and made. My dad was the same way with his woodworking, carpentry, inventiveness, and gardening. This created an ideal learning environment!
- Less Than Ideal:
Decades ago, working with a specific professional organizer a few times to try & get myself organized, to declutter, the aim to get into a daily rhythm at home, after the work day and handle all responsibilities in an orderly, peaceful way; to not be daunted by it all.
We organized papers & put things into like-categories, filed things away, made an index of where things were; and she left me with a spreadsheet i.e schedule, each 15-minute block filled-in with a task. I was in a greater & different kind of anxiety after she left, than before she came. As she explained my assignment, it created constriction in my throat and heart and felt like there was something wrong with me that I couldn’t do it….
At the time, neither of us didn’t know, what we didn’t know. I have since learned & garnered much self-understanding, and I keep that in mind, foremost, before getting on board with anything from hobbies, social gatherings, to classes & other means of learning.
… It wasn’t until years later through my ever-evolving spiritual journey and passion for it, that I became aware that it was not my nature to do things that way; as well as other areas of living, too. I became more aware of what was my nature and began to honor that!❤️✨️
-
Hi Cheryl, thank you for your lovely description of learning from your parents, and how their love of life made their teaching such a gift for you. I had been thinking back to my classroom memories to pull out relevant anecdotes, but your essay pointed me toward my own family learning environment. So much of my life has been built on what I learned from my dad – working with metal and wood, plants in the forest and in the garden, cooking and particularly baking, sewing, learning to learn … I feel this comment turning into my essay. Thank you for sharing a little of what you carry forward from your mom and dad.
-
Hi Colin. Thank you! I am delighted that you enjoyed the my sharing, and the beautiful way you described my experience, and my parents’ love of life…and teaching. I’m so glad that it has pointed you toward sharing of your own family learning environment. And. how uncanny that both of our dads share the enjoyment of the same, and similar interests! That makes me smile. Thank you, Colin, for your open heart. I look forward to reading your sharing, via your essay. 😊🌻
-
Cheryl, your appreciation of learning how to cook & bake from Mom made me laugh about how opposite my lived experience is right now. My son is Autistic and needs to be precise. I am a very good baker and somehow mostly succeed by “winging” a lot of things. When he & I bake together and I ‘toss in’ a pinch of this or that… or sub 1 ingredient for another, he almost has an anxiety attack. It makes us laugh. We can appreciate our differences, and luckily most things turn out yummy, so we are fine 😉
-
Hi Dawa… I definitely relate to being precise, I am a precise baker to, one more way to practice mindfulness. Her tips were really foundational teaching, so that even though I was measuring precisely, I knew the crux of what the measurement was based on. Even though, as a child I didn’t know that, but it sure came in handy throughout life. And anything in between, was to get a good estimate until measuring was possible (like the yard of fabric example). I admire that you are a good “winging” it baker. My my was like that too in many things. When I asked her to share her recipe for pizza dough, it took her a while..because she didn’t measure.. lol!
I think I can relate to your son’s reaction when you toss things in without measure. Just reading that, and imagining if I were next to you… I’d want to know the exact, exeept for a pinch.. I can handle that. 🙂 Thank you for sharing.. I do appreciate it.
-
-
Cheryl, I could feel the beauty and love of your childhood home in your description of learning from your parents. What an amazing gift to learn that practical magic about baking, sewing, and tending to a garden. I can imagine that your home now–despite the efforts of your rigid organizer–is probably a welcoming place because of your learning inheritance. There is something so sweet and tender about cooking a recipe or cutting cloth and feeling our parents working through our eyes and hands. Thank you so much for sharing this.
-
Hi Melanie 🙂 Thank you so much for your response. I cannot tell you how wonderful it feels to hear your response, as it allows me to experience what I shared, in a unique way that I cannot yet describe. Maybe, it’s because through your feeling and appreciation of it, I’m able to pan-back, and feel and see it from a witness point of view. And, I agree, re: the sweet, tenderness of feeling our parents’ presence through our eyes and hands in something that they’ve taught us. My heart is warm and glad that you know that experience as well. Thank you so much for sharing. 🙂 :>
-
-
That framing and context of learning with your mom is, well, delightful! I was right in the kitchen with you. Thank you for sharing.
-
-
I love the lessons from your mom! This is also how I learn / learned to cook and bake (although not from my mom – from friends). It took me forever to figure out that videos just don’t do it for me. I need to be present with the person, watch them, have them talk to me, etc. I was briefly a professional organizer and that “lesson” sounds less than ideal. There are so many emotional factors involved in organizing and so many different styles. I wish she had gotten to know YOU instead of imposing her own style.
-
Hi Elizabeth. 😊 Thank you so much. I’m glad you could appreciate the lessons from my mom, and the experience of learning in person, or at least face-to-face (possibly video from teachr’s you/I feel in touch with.)
As I reflect, the wonderful thing about being in-person is, it’s an Intentional Container, a cocoon of sorts, away from the pace of life outside of it (and, thankful that there are teachers, like Susan, that know how to capture this via video. If not for her videos each week all those years ago, my experience of meditation would not be the same. I had been searching a long time; nor would I be here, now. Thank you Susan!❤️)
As for the efficient, good-hearted professional oganzier, it was not, at that point, a part of her orientation to a new client.. to check-in on those points. Over the years I began to learn and be awake to how I learn best, and stop trying to fit my nature, into someone else’s idea that worked for them. I knew none of this then, and thought there was some deficiency within myself. I’m grateful for the spiritual journey, and all the ingredients that it contains, and I do my best to abide in these learnings. They are infused in my engagement with others, and allows my ongoing learning and its integration, as well. — It has been a joy engaging with you!
P.S. I agree. There are so many emotional factors regarding decluttering organizing, etc. And I am grateful that through another friend, I eventually found someone sensitive & wise to all of that.
-
-
Cheryl, I enjoyed reading about the way that your mom taught you practical, but important things. Very hands on! My paternal grandma was somewhat like this. I still hear her voice and directions when I am cooking or baking. 🙂
-
-
Cheryl, thank you for sharing such rich memories and experiences. I think your observation “My mom knew how to make things relatable” sums up what it is to be a great teacher. Thank you for sharing your this story with us.
-
-
Cheryl, thanks for your share! I’ve so much identified with your ‘declutter’ experience and how much this has taught myself also that I’m not a ‘spreadsheet’ your time and your interests and your ‘values’ type of person. And now, I’ve become curious how you do ‘professional’ stuff… more in the way of teachings of your mom? I’ve really enjoyed reading about those… and realizing how just reading this is also a beautiful learning experience for me.
-
Hi Glenn. Glad you could see yourself in some of what I shared. I’m thankful that you can appreciate it.
Oh, what an interesting question re: how I do the professional stuff, more in the way of teachings of my mom. Hmm….
…I don’t have any professional stuff at the moment, but I think the answer is… my mom had a way of making things relatable, practical.. a way of thinking and looking at something to help me grasp the idea and foundation of things.
I guess it’s breaking things down, the same way we know that four quarters = $1.00; and that we know our multiplication tables. once we know the principles or working ideas around that…it can be applied to many things in life in a practical way…
…With that in mind, and letting it settle there, and even plant a “seed-question” to your self, i.e. asking: “how can I apply_______ or learn_____ in a practical way (or whatever the case may be); and then let it go from your mind, and do other things of .. and gently ask it again whenever you think about it, then let it go. It’s possible that, in time, a response will meander into your mind. “but don’t take my word for it”, as Susan reminds us. This is simply what I do, whenever I have questions, and know answers won’t come if I try to wrestle them out of my conscious mind. Eventually (and often right on time) I receive an answer, sometimes in the way of problem/challenge being solved; or an idea; or an opportunity.. etc.
I hope I understood your question correctly, and that some part of this is helpful to you. Please let me know how it goes. You might even get the idea of another way to handle it. Hope you enjoy the process! It has served me well since about age 12 or 13; again from my mom. 🙂
-
-
-
My first ideal learning environment experience was when I entered my PhD track at the University of Groningen. I was assistent to a professor, who was the one who wrote the research project I was contracted to work on. When I arrived at the department, I was surprised that there was almost no support for foreign researchers at the University. I had travelled with my young family, a 2 week old daughter, from Aruba to live in The Netherlands in Groningen. I was just shown the room I could sit in, was given access to the library and a computer and was told they had not expected me to already show up. But when I expressed how I needed guidance to get to know my way around the research infrastructure of the University, promptly another young researcher who was 1 year in his PhD track, was assigned as my sponsor to guide me in every way.
As I was conducting the research, there was a notion that if I applied a different research approach to the research subject then was proposed by my promotor, I may gain a more detailed and nuanced insight about the issues I was researching. I was conducting research about investigative powers by police and prosecutorial authorities in criminal cases in the different countries within the Kingdom of The Netherlands as a member state to the European Convention on Human Rights. My promotor was surprised I may think I could have an approach which may yield more insights than his approach but was very open. He said that if I wrote an article with my approach and get ik published and could convince him the added value of the results following this different approach, he would allow to determine this direction of the research. I wrote an article which got published and the professor allowed me to conduct the research according to my own approach. This was the first time experiencing a learning environment where there was true interaction where all involved were learning from the process of learning. This was very uplifting to my self-confidence also. Then I discovered that the whole department was functioning in a rather open manner which was geared towards the support of learning from each other.
Another example that stuck with me during this time was a series of meetings we had at the department to solve an international criminal justice issue. The UN had requested a professor of our department to help solve the question of a fair trial to the Lockerbie bombing (PanAm flight 103) suspects. I was invited to a think tank session about how to solve this issue. That meeting had an impressive list of criminal law professors at the table, legal minds with the highest regard and authority. I sat in awe in the meeting, listening to the options and perspectives debated to solve the challenge on how to offer these suspects the best guarantee for a fair trial according to Scotch and International criminal law. After the meeting my promotor came to my office and asked me to join him in his office for a talk. After we sat down he asked why I was quite in that meeting. I told him I was in the presence of great professors, me being just a beginning PhD candidate, just being happy to have been able to attend. I did not think I should have had the audacity to speak and offer my thoughts. He looked at me and said: this attitude borders to false humility. I was shocked. He told me that the fact I was invited to this think tank session was because they see, appreciate and value what my mind has to offer and by remaining silent I am witholding my fresh thoughts to be included in the collective wisdom of that meeting. After this, I did always listen with more care to notice where my contribution may add to the contribution of all others involved This was to me an example of how an ‘ideal’ learning environment for a collective may be created.
I’ve also experienced many ideal learning environment situations growing up. I had the blessing that my parents and grand parents were always willing to seek for answers to my questions. They went to great lengths, according to them buying encyclopedia series to have these meters of books in the house to answer my questions before I could read to offering me to read once I could. My grand parents bought my subscriptions for National Geographic for me until I was beyond my teenage years and also always supported my learning in all the ways possible. In this sense, I was being supported in my learning as the questions were arising.
Less-then-ideal learning environments were many. Particularly in formal schooling. Me and my fellow schoolmates were being schooled in programs and schooling tracks geared towards what industry or society demanded, not what may have us flourish best. When I was in primary and secondary school, there was hardly any ‘wiggle’ room in our educational system to ‘tailor make’ the tracks. This has changed much since then, but the experience our children have show that the flourishing of the mind of the person is still not a priority. The ‘system output’ is. Also, once I was working and getting leadership roles I noticed that the guidance and learning environment there is als less-then-ideal. I’ve experienced environments where there is no room for mistakes and a culture of immediate retribution for anything resembling a mistake. This is particularly the case in high profile positions, but I notice it permeating in almost ‘layers’ of organizations. This creates an environment where learning by mistakes is not only not primary, but creating the illusion of impeccability is best rewarded. I’ve experienced first hand how leaders suppress learning by mistakes by not being willing to acknowledge mistakes happen. The consequences usually are very harmful for those in the field of the effects of the mistakes. My personal experience with this go back mostly to the position I held as Governor of Bonaire. I’ve addressed many times to government officials and civil servants on ways to address poverty, but the unwillingness to learn from mistakes in determining a minimum level of income and cost support for those under that level have kept a large portion of the population under poverty levels.
These less-than-ideal learning environments seem to keep all involved hostage and frozen in a less than ideal reality. When this can be transformed into a more open and more interactive learning environment where the reality can be examined without the need to pretend to be perfect, the hostage situation can be overcome and new learning could be achieved. I’ve experienced this when I was asked many years after starting to address this issue to preside on a committee to determine the level of income and cost which can identify the line between poverty and dignified participation in society. Openly observing and discussing reality instead of pretentions, seems to help in the learning environment, may be an indication from my experience.
-
-
Glenn, what an interesting life you have led! And you write so beautifully about it. I was particularly struck by the experience of staying quiet in deference to the “experts”, and being told that was “false humility”, withholding fresh thoughts. I find this inspiring and encouraging. Thanks for sharing your stories!
-
Glenn, it was so wonderful reading about your ideal learning experiences during your PhD. I’m so glad you had these experiences of feeling included and valued. I had the exact opposite experience during my PhD in America (as well as many of my colleagues) where we were ridiculed and often shamed/blocked if we ever dared to provide an idea outside of our mentor’s “way they’d been doing it forever.” How refreshing and wonderful that you had these experiences, that I’m sure shaped you immensely from there. Thank you so much for sharing!
-
-
-
My parents valued education very highly and they taught me that what I learned from any situation was mostly about what I brought to it.
My ideal learning environment is one where I can feel the warmth, magic, and clarity. In order to feel it, I also know I have to bring it. I have felt this feeling in most of my learning environments- I consider all of life to be a learning environment. My favorite places of learning and feeling the warmth, magic and clarity have been at Grateful Dead concerts, where I learned how to let music move my heart, body and mind, and I felt the sparkling kindness and love of the community of Dead Heads. I loved that magical experience so much, I try to carry it into all areas of my life.
Often when I am tired, stressed out, or feeling hopeless, I struggle to feel that warmth, magic and clarity of an ideal learning environment anywhere. The reason I joined this class was because I was struggling with the loss of American democracy, feeling frustrated and angry and lost. When I started really searching to expand my spiritual life again and grow spiritually, I found Susan Piver’s podcast, and the first one I listened to was on the Enneagram. I immediately started reading her book about it, and suddenly I was in the magic again. When this class started though, I found myself wanting to get an A in the class, wanting to be a perfect performer, knowing that I wanted more than that and also struggling with my own rebellion to everything in the class and the world at large. For me I know that it’s my own mind that creates the least ideal learning environment, so I work with myself until I find the breakthrough. Although I usually do find a breakthrough, the one thing that cuts me off from the process is when I feel I am being controlled. Without the freedom and spaciousness to try and find my way, I will have to step out (or just pretend long enough that it is over). I am grateful that our class is one where I did find the freedom and spaciousness to work with myself, because I now deeply feel that warmth, magic and clarity again: feels so good.
-
Kat, you had me at “in order to feel it, I also know I have to bring it.” And then I got to your experience of Grateful Dead concerts and laughed out loud. I’ve been to countless Dead concerts and share your sense of the warmth, kindness, and magic there. (My house at the beach is named Grateful Dunes.) And I really appreciate the insight that “it’s my own mind that creates the least ideal learning environment” – this is something I will be working with. Thank you!
-
What beautiful, vulnerable, sharing Kat – and a nice written addition to some of your spoken thoughts at the end of class the other day <3 I love getting a little more of a window into your mind 🙂 I can relate and think it’s perfectly natural to have those thoughts at the beginning of the class, and I’m so glad you’ve found the “warmth, magic, and clarity” again (hooray!).
Although I missed out on seeing Grateful Dead live, I have come to love their music as an adult (through my husband) and totally experience the warmth and kindness there, although in different ways (I know it never will be/can be the same!). Through their music is how I, too, “learned how to let music move my heart, body and mind” – love this so much! Thank you for sharing. -
Dear Kat,
A wonderful share of how our mindscape is in a way the container for the learning environment. Thanks for shining your light on this factor I often overlook. I’m feeling some FOMO about the Grateful Dead live events… and imagining and wondering how you carry that magic and clarity from those experiences into daily life. I’m feeling inspired by this. -
Kat, I love the words you use to describe aspects of your ideal learning environment: warmth, magic and clarity. I have a desire to connect with more environments that encourage these things in my life. I am also inspired by the idea of expanding my view on what a learning environment is to include such things as concerts. Thank you.
-
-
The retreats I have attended with Susan in Austin provided an ideal learning environment. I have no doubt that every element of the schedule and environment was intentional and reflected Susan’s consideration of and caring for the group’s diverse personalities and needs. Reflecting on one retreat that included meditation and learning about the Enneagram, the whole of our time together–both the formal content and the lived experience–was instructional. When Susan was talking this week about the importance of creating an environment for learning that was safe and comfortable for all students, I was visualizing her home in Austin. There was just the right spot for each of us to land and settle. Everything was bright, and clean, and comfortable, and welcoming. Great care went into maintaining balance, between interaction and introspection, dialogue and silence, work and rest. The sunrise swims at Barton Springs are magical. I am incredibly blessed in this life to be able to break from routine and spend time in such a lovingly and intentionally constructed container for growth with other seekers. I learned so much about the dharma, the enneagram, myself, the power of curiousity, and and the immeasurable value of attention to the present moment and life lived intentionally. Could go on for pages: )
Less ideal learning environment? Flash back to returning to school when I decided to change lanes from working in publishing to working in health care. I enrolled in Columbia’s post-bac premed program, where we were in classes with the pre-med undergrads. Hello, forced curves and cut-throat competition. I remember leaving my first exam thinking, “I definitely got a D on that.” Yup, got a score in the 60s, but that was a B+. Crazy town. Everyone there was marinating in anxiety and coffee. Good times. I did learn a lot, no doubt. Many brilliant professors, and thankfully I did find “my people,” mostly other slightly older students, who enjoyed collaboration. But there was very little joy in the experience, and every step felt like a hurdle between us and “winning” the race to grad school admission.
-
Hi Melanie. 🙂 Your description of retreats with Susan, at her home make me feel like I was right there. Your every word painted a felt-sense experience. And, including the details of what Susan taught on Saturday, allowed me to be re-minded, and learn again of the details and their importance. — Regarding, the less-than-ideal learning environment. Wow. Glad you survived, and learned a lot, despite not very much joy. 🙂
-
Melanie, wow, I have ALWAYS wanted to attend one of Susan’s retreats, and reading your essay has just solidified this even more! Thank you for sharing these reflections! Honestly, I don’t even really picture retreats when I think of learning environments, so thank you for opening my mind to this! I have been to many retreats, and of course they are learning experiences! Interesting how I go right to the classroom…something to ponder for myself. I have been to many less-than-ideal retreat environments, which makes me always really hesitate before taking the leap on one (especially monetarily), but now I am confident that if ever the chance comes again to attend one of Susan’s retreats in Austin, it would be very worthwhile!
-
-
Ideal learning environment?
Well, I think this one’s not bad. Clear container and expectations, framework for exploration and self-discovery, opportunity to be seen and learn from others. Caring teacher and a cohort of beautiful, supportive people. Not bad at all!
I can’t really remember an environment that felt more ideal to me, except Cheryl’s recounting of learning by her mother’s side widened my view beyond class experiences, and led me to consider all I learned from my own father, and the way he taught me.
As I commented to Cheryl: So much of my life has been built on what I learned from my dad – working with metal and wood, plants in the forest and in the garden, cooking, baking, sewing, learning to learn. I think of the patient and methodical way he taught me to drive, use tools safely, read a map.
He taught me more than just know-how, of course. Setting me the task of removing the quack-grass from our allotment garden, he showed me how the rhizomes grew and which tools to use, how to use them. That was a very unwelcome challenge at the time. Exhausting and never-ending. But I may be one of the most persistent, tenacious people on planet earth now when I have a task to get through, and I believe my dad planted that seed right there in the quack-grass.
I would sum it up as his creating an environment where curiosity was directed toward discovery rather than simply giving answers, where every process was an opportunity to examine how to approach problems, what materials and options are available, how to break big problems into a series of smaller ones. How to acquire skills, and find information. Always with consideration of my comfort in the experience, balanced with a confidence in my capacity to grow.
Less-than-ideal environment: my 6th form pure math class comes to mind (6th = college prep level in the UK back in the day). I joined late, due to a rather confused process of deciding on career goals, which dictated what classes would be open for me. My advisor “strongly suggested” a path that would be solid professionally – architecture – when I wanted to pursue art and design (precarious and unemployable!). I caved and took classes that did not interest me and stretched my aptitudes. That math class was impossible for me. The teacher had no interest in accommodating my late start in any way. I could not make up for what I had missed and simply did not understand any of what I was faced with, which came in a torrent of cryptic equations to solve. I felt completely unsupported; that it made no difference to the teacher whether I sank or swam. I did sink, quickly, but was able to substitute another subject and survived it well enough to get back on a track toward design.
-
Hi Colin. Oh, what treasures you’ve shared. The depth and breadth of what your dad taught you through hands-on experiences of such a variety, from the metal, wood and plants, and the biology of the forest (wow!); and which tools to use. I can see that all that he taught you equipped you with essential ways of problem solving, and ways of thinking & processing that became unique to you. Your appreciation of that shines through radiantly in your “I would sum it up..” paragraph, as well as your entire essay. It’s all so very rich!
I agree, re: this training as an ideal learning environment for me too. An established, sensitive teacher, a container of safety, pacing of learning & assignments, opportunity to share, to be heard in class as well as to share here. All good.
Your less-than-ideal learning environment presented many layers of challenges. I’m so glad you got through it, and that all of the multi-faceted learning from your dad were a solid foundation for that. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. 🙂
-
-
-
-
-
Hi Colin – Your recounting of a less than ideal math class with an unsupportive teacher brought me back to my own experience of high school math class. It is such a tragedy when young, bright, people are forced to spend time “learning” from a unsupportive and unkind teacher, in particular for subjects that are challenging and also so interesting. It took some time for me after high school to get my enjoyment and confidence in the subject back. For me this happened with my upper division undergraduate and graduate level classes when I could see how the math that we were learning would be practically applied to population statistics and species distribution models, which is what I do now and love. The practical, hands-on learning in an environment created that confidence again, despite being paired with some less than ideal teachers from time to time. I have discovered about myself that I can absorb subject matter in a classroom setting, but I need to get out and apply it for the matter to stick and for the lightbulbs of learning to come on for me. Thank you for allowing me to prattle on here. – Jodi
-
-
What comes to my mind is trust. The trust that the teacher has competence in the subject matter. Trust that the teacher has the skills to manage group participation in a group learning environment. Some humor. Some kindness. Time (the clock) is well kept. Comfortable seating! A sense one can settle in and focus on learning. Lighting matters too! I will go back to my previous two examples from last weeks question:
Ideal learning: one on one dokusan with teacher: the physical environment fit the reason for being with a teacher. A clean, well lit, private, two chairs with just the right amount of distance between them and the clock attended to by the teacher. Less than ideal dokusan: the teacher noticeably in over his head to skillfully address my question (as the student) and noticeably no skill at handling himself at realizing he was in over his head. So, I think in general my ideal learning environment includes, trust I am safe in an environment to my liking! And trust the teacher has competence. Less than ideal: the absence of those qualities. Though I also will say I have at times learned the most when none of these qualities were present. For instance, camping out in a Himalayan village hospital (in Nepal) in a pup tent on the ground. And, waking up to the village children surrounding the tents doing their homework while they waited for us (the foreign volunteers to their village) to wake up! Nothing was less than ideal at that moment: not even the lack of clean water or western toilet……-
I love this, Susan! Well-lit – yes. Nothing more annoying and distracting to me than bad lighting, either too bright or the tone is brash, etc. I also appreciate when people start on time and end on time. As a therapist, I naturally watch the clock. But oftentimes it’s a relief to not have to do that; to have someone else take care of it. And I love your description of Nepal. I often want the ideal environment physically but learn through hardship!
-
-
Reading the essays already posted, I realize that I immediately took my thoughts to classroom experiences and not the expansive landscape many of you have shared.
Whenever I feel safe, have trust, and where vulnerability does not bring judgment, that is ideal for learning. From my lived experience, that was always true with my late husband Terry. I learned SO MUCH from him. He opened my heart, my eyes, he never judged; he accepted and guided.
I’ve been fortunate to have good experiences in ‘classroom’ settings as well. A 5-day spiritual formation retreat in Nazareth KY was special – silence was practiced from dinner to breakfast, teachers were wise and compassionate. I had one of my few direct communications from/with Spirit during that retreat.
Peter Block has written extensively on building the ideal container for learning environments and I recommend his book, “Community: The Structure of Belonging”.
Less-than-ideal learning environments have often been in education, even as far back as primary education and on when I had teachers who relished embarrassing students. “There’s no stupid question” is often not the case!
In my career where I was in corporate training classrooms, I strived to provide welcome and connection, however, I was often placed in the worst room in the building for a training seminar. One time I was given a room, more like a warehouse with windows, cement floor, no decor and the floor was littered with dead bugs because it was basically a deserted area of the building. Another time a training session at a conference was set up in a corner of the dining room where dinner was to be served and all we could hear was the clanking of dishes being set for 300 people and then suddenly, a test of the sound system that blared rock music. Oh, there are many more, but I accepted the unexpected challenges and out of it, used humor (and a broom) to soften the harshness of a venue.
-
Hi, Mary Beth. Your words “Whenever I feel safe, have trust, and where vulnerability does not bring judgment, that is ideal for learning.” You describe in a nutshell, the way I feel also. Yes! (Thank you for the book recommendation.) — And, how precious that you had that with your late husband, Terry; and that you learned so much from him in a loving, caring, environment of acceptance. My condolences to you, on the passing of your husband.
And bravo to you for making-good… for you and the students, in a less than ideal learning/teaching environment. And, bringing acceptance to the unexpected. What an admirable environment (intention) and gift to bring to that situation. Thank you so much for sharing your rich experiences, insight and wisdom. 🙂
-
-
MaryBeth, I wrote my essay before reading any others, and also was taken upon reading afterwards that I had gone straight to classroom for learning environments and never strayed in my mind from this narrow tunnel. At the same time, I am so enjoying reading all the other essays and having my mind expand to these possibilities! Being a part of this group is so wonderful.
I chuckled at your less-than-ideal learning experiences because they sound so unfortunate, almost not possible (because – corporate), and yet I am totally not surprised (because, well, corporate). I’m glad you were able to take a lense of humor in those unfortunate situations. Sounds like you really made the best of it (and I’m sure your learners appreciated that!) -
Marybeth,
I loved how beautifully you described the ideal learning environment; “Whenever I feel safe, have trust, and where vulnerability does not bring judgment” and I honor that that was what you had in your wonderful relationship with Terry.Your less-than-ideal example feels like it needs to be banished in a separate comment thread; in my experience, and likely in more than those in the forum that have already commented and resonated with you, continues to live in more traditional education programs, particularly in grade school. Sigh.
-
Hi MaryBeth, I can so relate to an ugly (what felt like to me from your description) and unkempt room can make all the difference. For me that’s key. It also shows the value that an organization puts on learning, in my very opinionated opinion :-). Thank you for the book recommendation and for your sense of humor.
-
Hi MaryBeth,
Thank you for your essay. I really appreciated your inclusion of your experiences with your husband. I also immediately thought of the classrooms I’ve been in when I thought about this question. Your essay helped me realize that I’ve learned so much from my partner over the 17 years we’ve been together. Thanks for that!
I also chuckled in recognition at your description of truly terrible environments where you’ve had to provide training. I’ve experienced this as well – so many bland rooms where the temperature and the acoustics are never right. It’s not a good situation for the trainer or the people attending.
-
-
-
When I think about a personal experience with a less-than-ideal learning environment, two examples immediately come to mind. Interestingly, both involve male, in my opinion inappropriate, sometimes even aggressive teachers. I went to a semi-private high school, known for its great education, and in ways I am very grateful for this education, but when I think back on some of these examples it makes me sad and even a little mad. The first example involves a chemistry teacher. The main reason I think of his class as a less-than-ideal learning environment was because of his demeanor and the way he made us feel – always inferior and like we weren’t good enough. He would often call out students in front of everyone, quoting something from their homework or essay that was incorrect and explaining why, rather than making his point more generically without name calling. He would often, when he was lecturing, say things like “As I’m sure you all know…” or “You already know this but…”, just making me feel constantly like I was behind or didn’t know but should. He once caught the girl sitting next to me in the front of the class staring off into space, and he stopped teaching midsentence to ask her, in front of everyone, “Is he naked?” I’ll never forget the look on my classmate’s face. I basically always felt uncomfortable, anxious, and like I had the heebie jeebies in this class.
A math teacher I had evoked similar discomfort, but for different reasons. It wasn’t really his words but more his actions that made me comfortable. He was known for walking around the classroom while we worked on math problems, silently strolling from desk to desk, and occasionally marking an “X” on your desk in chalk, for reasons he would never explain. He also once picked up and flipped a girl in her desk when she answered a question incorrectly. Uncomfortable chuckles would echo throughout the class – it was clear he was trying to do things like this as a “joke” and yet made everyone uncomfortable. To make matters worse, this was a well-known characteristic of this teacher, even among other teachers, so there was no one really to “tell”. It was made clear that everyone knew this teacher was like this and at the same time that there was nothing to do about it.
When I think of ideal learning environments, two examples also come to mind. One had to do with a specific professor, but it was more than that. She also ended up being my undergraduate teaching advisor and taught many of the courses in my major. From her I discovered my love of Neuroscience and the brain in undergrad, leading to my major and eventually my PhD research. Not only did I love her teaching style, she was also a mentor and a teacher of the subjects that lit me up. I worked with her in the lab and in the classroom, and I consider all of these experiences under one ideal learning umbrella. I can see now that all of these components mix in to why I think of this as an ideal learning environment.
Another ideal example is a college chemistry class. After the horrible experiences I had in high school with example number 1 above, I had written off chemistry as a subject I simply couldn’t learn, would never be good at, and I was surprised at how easily the subject came to me in college. Looking back, I feel I have to credit the teacher, but I also don’t have specific memories of her the way I do of the not-so-ideal examples. I don’t so much remember how she made me feel or much about her teaching style, more that I was just so happy that a subject that had seemed impossible at a younger age was now coming so easily to me.
I’m realizing in reflecting via this essay that the less-than-deal teaching situations for me involve the way the teachers made me feel, and the ideal examples were less about how the teachers made me feel and more about the environment they created (although I guess the feelings I felt from the less-than-ideal situations were sparked by the environments created by the teacher).
This has been a very interesting topic to reflect on!-
Hi Liana — oh I cringed at your descriptions of the (much!) less than ideal learning environments and experiences with your high school chemistry and math teachers. Such mocking of individual students is so unacceptable, and it is also so sad that the math teacher was just sort of accepted in the culture of the school. What a helpless feeling to have no one to talk with about it!
And happy day that you had college experiences that were at the other end of the spectrum! I agree that it’s interesting that you don’t remember so many specifics about how you felt about the teachers themselves, but that you know you thrived in the open and respectful learning environments they created. I wonder whether part of it was that those lovely college teachers somehow made everyone feel worthy and cared for, with no (sadly) memorable cruel and spiky encounters with particular students.
Thank you! -
Liana, I felt anxious reading about those negative environments. How impossible it is to learn when we don’t feel safe! Your thoughts about positive experiences resonated with me, because I too wrongly believed I didn’t have the aptitude for certain subjects, only to find out otherwise when I experienced them in a different environment, with a new instructor. How quick we are to criticize ourselves, when it may be more constructive to explore the “why” behind our struggle. You’ve got me thinking! Thank you: )
-
-
My ideal learning environment is in person in a small group environment. I did a couples workshop with about 10 other couples in 2025 and it was lovely having the support of everyone in the room. It was a mix of slides/learning concepts and processing emotions that inevitably come up with questions that could be asked at any time. The leader was really tuned in and present and i could feel that. There was also small group breakouts which was helpful to get to know people more and explore what was happening with ourselves.
Less than ideal – I take CEUs for my license online pretty regularly. For many of these, you have to be present the entire time no matter what. There aren’t any free flowing questions and questions can only be asked in the chat and will be answered typically at the end. There’s no actual back and forth interaction with the teacher or with other students. I learned pretty quickly not to sign up for ones over about 2-3 hours because (1) I’ll get a headache and (2) pretty much no matter what kind of seat I choose my back will hurt due to lack of movement. Very occasionally there will be one where we can ask questions as it goes and I like those much more.
-
Hi Elizabeth — wow, I don’t know if I can imagine a situation with more emotional complexity than a retreat with 10+ couples! Kudos to your leader, and to you and all the participants for co-creating a brave and supportive environment.
And I love how your self-awareness comes through in the less ideal conditions offered by many CEU courses. It makes all the sense in the world that you’ve become more discerning about which ones will be most pleasant and productive for you!-
Hi Elizabeth, I agree class size matters. That’s something I didn’t think about, but it makes a big difference. I tend to think more about the physical environment. And duration and movement are also key factors. I’d love to run workshops some day and I’d love to be one of those teachers that can make it an enjoyable experience to everyone, as much as possible. Thanks for sharing!
-
-
Hi Elizabeth,
😊 Your description of the ideal learning environment, echoes my own; as does the less-than-ideal example. I’m glad that your ideal learning environment resonated with and nourished your senses, your heart, and your learning.As you’ve described, learning involves the curriculmn/education, plus so much more. It’s a multi-sensory experience (beyond 5-senses) and your ideal example seems to describe just that…
…and your less-than-ideal experience describes the lack of of that. I cannot imagine having to endure that. It doesn’t even sound like a human element was in involed. Whew! I’m so glad you got through it. — Isn’t it wonderful to be aware of how we learn, and to know/learn, what is ideal for us? I hope your future CEU courses provide a user-friendly, user-sensitive option for you. 💞☀️😊 Thank you so much for sharing the story of your experiences!
-
Hi ELizabeth, the CEU’s on line are enough to deaden any interest in learning in my experience! I have all the symptoms you have after spending time in this way of learning and my remedy is to try to find CEU workshops/retreats/courses that have some focus on Buddhism (James Baraz offers one thru Spirit Rock), mindfulness, meditation, mind body – anything that might have some aliveness to it. Thank you for mentioning this post covid way of learning which I find so deficient!
-
-
I have completed two yoga teacher trainings, a 200hr one and, nearly two years later, a 300hr one that included Thai yoga bodywork. I had the same wonderful teacher for both, Will Brashear, but the settings were completely different. The first training was held at Trihealth Wellness Center in Cincinnati, a very corporate gym facility with pools, classes, bros lifting weights, running tracks, a smoothie cafeteria, and more. It was bright and spacious but also had that smell that large-scale fitness facilities have! Will did his best to carve out space for our circles and teaching and class sessions, but the space made it difficult to feel much intimacy within our group or connect with spiritual energy of any kind. I do remember many of my fellow teachers with affection, though, and the training was clearly enticing enough that I wanted more!
My second training took place in a very different setting called the Lotus Yoga Temple, which lived on the second floor of a former Masonic temple, up creaky stairs into quirky spaces with tiered levels around the main open space, and all carpeted in vivid blue with gorgeous tall windows, colorful wall hangings, and statues all around. Just going in there took your breath away and made you wonder what might happen next! There was a preschool on the first floor, a swingset in the yard, and overgrown trees and bushes surrounding the noble but crumbling building and its inadequate parking lot. I’d never spent time in a building like that before, and it was much easier to drop into a space where our circles for chanting and meditation, our mysore practices, and our lesson sessions felt natural and organic and a little trippy. Will arranged for a famous teacher to come for two evenings (a very special guest!) and I’ll never forgot how all of us students were assembled on the floor, cross-legged and excited, and then how I burst into tears as he arrived and walked up the aisle between us to be seated — a frail yet graceful elderly Indian man with a long white beard, wearing a colorful robe and white tube socks (!), accompanied by his swarthy attendant. Talk about a new experience for me.
Of course, I was in a different place in my first vs. second training too. My dive into yoga training (and Ayurveda and Chinese medicine and Thai bodywork and more) was happening as I was newly divorced, moving to a new home, dating again, an empty nester, you name it. I doubt I would have been ready for the Lotus Yoga Temple in early 2015, but I definitely was by late 2016 and beyond. I can still see and smell and feel the experience now, including a couple of fellow students who lived on a farm and came to class with dirty bare feet, sometimes with their little long-haired kids in tow.
Reflecting and writing on this topic is making me consider the settings I work in now and even what I offer/show to individuals and groups that I work with on zoom. In person here in Santa Fe, I volunteer at a hospice house where (gratefully) a lot of energy and effort is put into the space and environment, and into offering beauty and positive sensory experiences for the residents — open windows, plants and flowers, bedding, hospital gowns (we just got a donation of some soft polka-dotted ones!). And of course this is an ongoing challenge given the sights and smells and sounds of hospice too… And when it comes to my online work, how does my workspace feel to me? What setting am I inviting others into when we connect online? I’m getting ready to move to a larger home in a month, so I have the opportunity to be intentional about the answers to these questions, not to mention about setting up a special meditation space.
-
Niki, your descriptions made me feel like I was in the spaces with you! You spurred me to think about how optimal learning is a magical combination of right teacher, right place, and right point in our own evolution. I too will be much more intentional about the learning environment I create, where in the past I think I have focused almost entirely on the content/material. Thank you for sharing in a way that helped me see that!
-
-
When I was in college I had opportunities to learn to golf and scuba dive. They were very different learning environments, for many reasons. My golf instructor was my romantic partner. They provided me with the equipment I needed and took me to their favorite golf courses. They were patient and allowed me to learn at my own pace, without judgment for my lack of poise or familiarity with the etiquette. We enjoyed our time together and cheered one another’s successes.
We enrolled in a scuba certification course together as well. One significant aspect of this learning environment was that a lot of it took place in water. I was very anxious in water. One of the instructors was loud and impatient. I felt shamed by them for my lack of confidence and experience. I cried a lot. The worst part was when my partner and I broke up, the lead instructor told to come to the shop to practice the exercises with him after hours. It was just the two of us and my nervous system told me that he was taking advantage of my position as a young student to engage in activities that brought us in close physical contact. It was a bit of a disaster. It has come up in my mind repeatedly over the years as a very unpleasant experience.
Writing about these different learning environment experiences makes me think about the importance of trust in my relationships with teachers, especially when I am lacking confidence or feeling vulnerable. I went on to golf for years after learning in a comfortable, encouraging environment. I have not yet returned to scuba diving. This could be due to many barriers; however, it is possible that the unpleasant experience with the teacher prevented me from developing more of a desire to engage in that activity.-
-
Hi Natalie–
Your story brought up some long-forgotten memories of when I learned to scuba dive (and made me angry too). Talk about an environment where trust is crucial! I was apprehensive about learning to dive even though I’m comfortable in water–but I was putting my trust in someone else to set me up with the proper equipment, take us to a safe place to dive, and understand each of our limits. So to have an instructor take advantage of a vulnerable student is just so, so wrong. It makes sense that you didn’t pursue it.
-
-
Like many of you my life has been filled with a multitude of learning situations from formal schooling to learning on the job. When I think about my best experiences with learning it was when I felt acknowledged, heard, and valued. My most recent positive experiences with learning have been from one of my daughters-in-laws. She is an early childhood educator and an all around wonderful human. I have learned so much from her about validating what a young child is feeling and helping them to understand their own emotions and reactions. One time I’ve shared with her a problem I was concerned about with one of the boys and she said, “what are thoughts on what to do?” This blew me out of the water! It was an invitation to collaborate which most grandmothers don’t experience!
Difficult learning experiences have been when the “teacher” doesn’t seem invested in me as a learner, thinks they know best, or uses criticism rather than feedback or questioning. A few years ago I was involved in a Master Birder training program. I was so excited to be included. Unfortunately it was one of the worst learning experiences I have ever experienced. We were assigned mentors and my mentor was pretty harsh. Comments included, “You aren’t answering the questions correctly, or you seem like you are not invested in the work.” The strange thing was that I was doing the work as outlined, and I even felt I was going above the expectations. Needless to say I left that program. I may not be a Master Birder, but I am a happy birder!
-
-
Virginia, thank you for sharing. I resonated with how you pointed out the importance of the spirit of honest collaboration in learning. And a sense of humility, that we can always learn from others, no matter their difference in station such as age, experience, etc. That perspective leaves us with doors open rather than closed.
-
-
For me, the best learning environment is a combination of social learning and a relatable, student- centred instructor. That can be hard to find, but luckily it’s exactly what I get at my Tai Ji Quan
school right now. I go to a small class, and a lot of us started out as total beginners about two years ago. We joke around, and at the same time try to help each other, keeping it a bit light while we’re working pretty hard.Our instructor Eduardo uses a strengths-based approach, which is great for me because I don’t do at all well with harsh or punitive environments. He notices even the tiniest bits of effort or progress and always seems actually pleased by them. He’ll often invite questions and asks us where we want to focus during the class. Despite 20 years of intense training, he talks openly about still being a student, the mistakes he’s made, and what he’s working on now. I think his honesty and humbleness makes him so relatable and for me is encouraging, because it shows that he gets how hard everyone is working because he has to work that hard too.
I either get fearful or resentful with instructors who are controlling or use their role to pump themselves up at the expense of students’ learning. At this moment I can remember a couple of
bosses who acted that way, but I think I’ve blocked out any specific memories of teachers or instructors who did.-
Djuna – i admire your frankness in relating the not-ideal situations. I have had bad experiences with punitive and controlling teachers and bosses and it really hinders personal growth or any progress. Also, i resonate with your point that group camaraderie can be very supportive for collective learning. At the very least we need to ensure that there are clear guidelines for group interactions even when people are not familiar with each other – some guidelines i have appreciated during meditation classes or retreats are around keeping personal space organized, switching off phones, quietly taking leave during walking meditation session if one has to leave. Thank you for pointing to this important aspect of holding learning environment for a group.
-
-
Hi Djuna, I also really enjoy it when teachers are honest, humble, and open about they ways in which they are still learning. It’s a big turn-off for me when a teacher (or boss) is extremely controlling and takes the attitude of someone who knows everything and isn’t open to questions or disagreements.
-
-
Please describe a situation where you had an ideal learning environment. Please describe a less-than-ideal environment from your personal experience
Reading your reflections have added so many layers to how I’m connecting to this topic. I hadn’t thought about early childhood experience until I read Cheryl’s moving essay, and then Colin’s memories with his Dad and Glenn’s with his parents and grandparents. I felt such resonance with Melanie’s reaction to Cheryl’s account when she wrote “there is something so sweet and tender about cooking a recipe or cutting cloth and feeling our parents working through our eyes and hands.” It brought up a memory from my 20’s, a few years after my Dad’s death. During slightly tipsy meal prep with friends, we up- ended and dislodged part of a kitchen cabinet and after some minutes looking at scattered utensils with some dismay, I knelt down and said ‘I think if we do this…’ adding actions to words, and figured it out. Tom asked ‘how’d you learn to do that?’ and at 1st I said ‘I don’t know’ then I looked up at Howard, my tweenhood friend, smiling and tearing up, said, ‘I think I’m channeling my father.’
I’ll always remember a walk down a country lane with my grandfather and how he taught me about individual relationships with the trees.
I certainly shared Marybeth, Colin and Glenn’s negative associations with early formal schooling, although sometimes we lucked out with teachers sometimes and I do bless the friend groups.
Initially, I was planning on centering this essay on my experience in my 4 year analytic training institute because in so many ways it provided the safety and trust that supported the vulnerability for growth (to paraphrase Marybeth’s beautiful comprehensive ideal learning environment description) and also contained that less-than-ideal experience. The way the program was structured and the fine human’s carrying it out provided the container that nurtured development with both compassionate empathy and challenging demands in our work as psychotherapists and as developing psychoanalysts working in supervision, analysis and academic rigor as well as developing a kind and supportive bond among the 7 of us in the training class as we engaged in our work. We 7 traversed a dizzying array of crossed over relationships; my case supervisor conducted a class on Freud and a class on Intersubjectivity, our Object Relations teacher was K’s analyst and G’s analytic case supervisor and so on. We were acutely aware of the triggering opportunities, which I think contributed to how careful we were with each other and how we developed a culture of boundaried closeness which framed the richness of the learning environment. It wasn’t until we were closer to the ending of our time there that we had THE CLASS that was catastrophically less-than-ideal. As experienced and smart and old and analyzed a group as we were; as close and familiar we had become with each other; as surrounded by experienced and concerned institute staff became, nobody figured out how to understand it nor what to do about it until it was well behind us. It cost us one of our number who left for “other” reasons. We learned later that the manner and content of the class and the teacher triggered a history of sexual abuse/abuse of power trauma in one of our number and she and the teacher engaged in a kind of sexualized verbal exchange in which she was so defensively dissociated that identifying it was confusing to all of us and the dissociation was completely catching. I watched each class as we fell like dominos and every damn time I thought, this can’t happen again, this is absurd, and then an energy drain just knocked me out like we were under some spell from a really hostile fairy.
I’ve noticed a through line in some of our accounts; the importance of support and community. I certainly value and delight in it here. Yet I also remember my utter delight in one of my 1st college courses where Professor E would walk in, stand at the lectern, and deliver the class content, in flat, contained and continuous monotone that seemed to hold a whiff of derisive regard. At the end of class, he would close the folder, tuck it under his arm, turn away from us, and walk out. Once I got the hang of listening to him and taking notes, I found, to my surprise, that it felt relieving to be solely engaged in content and have no fawning pressure to “relate.” I think of the experience with amused pleasure these many years later. It makes me realize that there is no one way to understand what is an ideal learning environment. Each of us is different, we respond differently, and our own capacities vary and change, sometime hour to hour. I vary my therapeutic stance depending on the needs of my patients. Sometimes that changes even within a session. On my good days, to quote Susan, I get it (mostly) right or at least pick up where it’s not and open it to inquiry. And now here we are considering how to deeply listen to be best able to provide meditation instruction to whom we may be teaching. Will connecting here to our experiences help us connect to how we might better understand another’s human experience, a starting point perhaps, that might help us make our way into their shoes so we can connect to their experience and best support their discovery? On our good days?-
Lauren, thank you for sharing your experiences. I love how you closed with the sentiment of connecting with others based on this understanding of different lenses and experiences. Reading through these essays, I see so many different “ideal” scenarios with beautiful lessons each. Perhaps there are some throughlines: mainly, an environment of safety and trust, and treating others like the humans they are, and meeting them wherever they are. But again, our understanding of these different ideals, these different desires, histories, passions and pains, that we all contain, leads us to empathy and compassion. If we understand that someone may be different in possibly monumental ways, we can listen rather than putting our mark on them. We can offer something in the aim of meeting them as a middle. That staggering realization that we may never, never truly know the other person, and yet in some ways we are inseparable and one. The concluding words you offer make me reflect too on our role and responsibilities as meditation teachers, hell, on our role to be humans.
-
-
An ideal learning environment for me is one that feels I can relax in. Tidy, inviting, luminous (preferably). And where the host tried to anticipate some basic needs – water, comfortable sitting, maybe some writing supplies, and even better if there are some “unexpected or non-critical” items, like flowers… Aside from the physical aspects, it needs to be safe for questions and feel inclusive. The teacher should be prepared and be intentional, and be ready to actively moderate the group if the need arises (making sure everyone has an equal chance to comment, for example). As I write this, it feels like I’m being “demanding”, but on second thought, these are just basic behaviours that show respect for those who are spending time with us. I think there is some overlap between creating a good learning environment and being hospitable hosts, something that can get forgotten in our busy lives.
A non-ideal environment is probably just the opposite of everything I mentioned above, but by far the thing that I find the most distracting is a teacher who is not prepared. I want to leave a class feeling like my time was worthwhile and respected. Aside from that, I can adapt pretty well to different styles, but I want to leave the time together feeling like something in me, even if the tiniest piece of understanding or awareness, shifted a little. I think (again, going back to the very beginning of the Forum questions) a teacher’s Presence can do that. All the rest – the water, the flowers – maybe are just a way to calm our nervous system and make both students (and teacher) know that we are serious about the work, kind to each other, and ready to embark on something special together.
-
hi Ana – i love the specifics and details you shared. I also like your pointer about good learning environment and being a hospitable host – there definitely are some overlaps in offering a supportive environment. However, you got me thinking that there are difference too – as a host i feel “responsible” for the guests having a good time and also, as a host i can choose the guest list and invite them in. As a meditation teacher, the student has to ask to receive the teachings and we can only help them in their discovery process. Thank you for providing this lens that we can examine through to create the ideal environment for the setting.
-
-
-
The ideal learning environment I encountered was during a meditation retreat in fall 2021, led by Gaylon Ferguson at the Drala Mountain Center (DMC, then Shambhala). This was my first foray into meditation — until then, I’d considered myself incapable of sitting still or meditating. In fact, I prided myself on my endless store of restless energy, believing it fueled my “productivity” and “success” – outwardly that theory seemed to hold.
But, my life was getting increasingly complex and unmanageable and I was finding more and more unwholesome means to “keep pushing through”. When my motivation lagged, I relied on anger to push myself forward, which left me feeling burned out. Eventually, this caught up with me: I stopped sleeping, was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and faced a choice between medication, meditation, or both. That’s when I stumbled into the DMC retreat. It changed my life.
I share these personal details because they reflect the jumbled state of mind I brought to the retreat. I had no expectations or understanding of what I would experience. I simply showed up and fell into the healing environment of DMC and the expert guidance of the teachers and every little detail that went into that retreat that I did not have the capacity to appreciate at the time.
Looking back, certain moments stand out: quietly crying on the cushion, walking to the stupa, the group silently watching the sunrise together, feeling the cold morning air, and experiencing deep, restful sleep—without nightmares, restlessness, or medication. For the first time in ages, I slept soundly and woke up naturally. What I remember most is the unraveling I felt at the end of the retreat – I can’t go back. And the realization that I didn’t have to – what I had learned, I could carry with me.I realize I haven’t shared much about the environment, teaching methods, or specific details that made this setting ideal. Perhaps, though, that’s the key: an ideal learning environment is almost invisible, offering each person just the right amount of support and gently holding them in a space where genuine discovery can unfold. It takes great skill and precision on the part of the teacher and environment—and for me, DMC provided exactly that. Since then, I’ve returned every year, and often revisit the experience in my imagination; it remains my refuge.
In contrast, the less-than-ideal environment I experienced was in another retreat a year prior. In fall of 2020, I purchased a “yoga-hiking-wellness retreat” package online. The retreat was everything the brochure said – but nothing more. It was a mash up of disparate activities and people and their preferences – no cohesiveness. It was not a container for the collective gathering. It was logistics for the individuals who happened to be sharing an itinerary. All I remember from that retreat is – sitting in hot tub, drinking a lot of wine, and chatting up snooty people. I never went back.
-
Your description of this life changing retreat is beautiful. Watching the sunrise with your retreat-mates sounds really special. I attended a retreat at Drala and this brought me right back there. I also had the fortune of having Gaylon Ferguson as my first meditation teacher at the Boulder Shambhala Center in 2014 or so. It was wonderful experience!
-
-
I don’t think I can describe one particular ideal learning environment, but I know what physical environment works for me. It’s a biggish room with a wooden floor, chairs in a circle and an arrangement of something beautiful and natural in the middle. The temperature is pleasant, there is good light, and outside the room there are spaces to drink tea and go for walks.
We’ve had breakfast, lunch and dinner look good, and there is a programme that has been shared beforehand. The day is not too packed with input, and involves reflection, interaction and laughter (maybe tears, too). There is time and space around the programme for both solitude and company.
A less than ideal learning environment generally makes me sad, frustrated or angry. It’s not usually the physical environment that triggers these feelings; they arise when I become aware that a teacher has zero interest in interacting with their students. The audience exists as a block to project at while delivering the same old script. This builds a lot of resistance in me. As a rule, this type of teacher is generally not to be found anywhere near the circle in the room described above.
-
-
When I think about an ideal learning environment and experience, I immediately think about my experience as a doctoral student in Psychology. I was part of a cohort of 8 students. Our classes were generally small (20 people are less) and we dove deep into subjects that I was passionate about. When I reflect on that experience, I realize that what I loved the most about it were the relationships that I formed. I became very close not only with the other students in my cohort, but also with a few professors who took a special interest in me as a student. The combination of small classes, the shared experience of going through a doctoral program among my classmates, and the passion for teaching from some of my professors made this one of the best experiences of my life.
I’ve experienced less than ideal learning environments each time I’ve been in large classrooms/auditoriums or conference rooms where I don’t know anyone and there is little to no engagement with the instructor/speaker. These experiences have been made worse when the focus or topic is of little interest to me – sitting in an Organic Chemistry class among 100+ students during my undergrad years comes to mind.
Prior to thinking about and writing this essay, I would have wagered that my predominant instinctual drive is self-preservation. I realize now that I’m actually more inclined toward the social drive. I feel truly at my best when I am connected with others and have a sense of belongingness. It’s helpful to understand this about myself.
-
Hello Erin, How nice to be able to celebrate that time you had!
What you say resonates very much with me; I’m also feeling pulled in various directions as regards the instinctual drives (toilet paper, teamwork or tête á tête?). From your first paragraph, it sounds as if you thrive on good one-to-one relationships, too. Sorry to suggest there might be a third drive for you to investigate! -
Hi Erin,
I completely relate with your thoughts on learning environments. I also found out that I am probably predominantly social drive, as I find the learning environments enhanced by the relationships with students and teachers. I had a similar experience in my upper level undergrad at a small university. Those seminars with 10 or so people were very impactful on my life. I also find disconnection difficult in the learning environment. Thanks for sharing! -
Hi. Thank you for sharing your experience – I love the part “I realize that what I loved the most about it were the relationships that I formed.” This really resonates. The intimacy we can develop in the relationships of a class or learning experience are contextualized or related to the journey we share. It enhances the “lessons.”
A favorite Indigenous American quote seems to point to this “we were together, I forget the rest.” It’s not that we “forget” the lessons or the point of the class or experience, but we realize that it is the “being together” that makes the journey and learning worthwhile. The intimacy (in-to-me-see) is the glue that makes the learning stick and offers the deeper lessons and practical application in our relationships.
Thank you. 🙏
-
-
-
I agree with many of the comments that an ideal learning environment is based on a sense of some physical comfort and safety. The teacher must set the container in which the students can explore their own thoughts and absorb the facts and principles being taught. However, there must be a sense of willingness on the part of the students to go beyond what they already know and meet the teacher in that vulnerable space of learning something new.
There have been many times that I stretched myself out of my comfort zone, when the excitement of the subject matter or teacher helped me to really learn and grow. I remember my first real job after college. I was assistant to a dynamic sales manager of a garden statuary company. My job was to help keep the office organized and book his travel schedule. I liked the environment of the office, the other salespeople, who were all young adults like me, and the work. However I was not at all interested in becoming a salesperson myself. My boss had other ideas. Slowly but surely, he introduced ideas and strategies of being a successful salesperson. He was never too demanding, but kept suggesting I take part in trade shows and calling on clients. I began to see that I could possibly stretch myself and do the more well-paying job. Funny enough, sales has been a large part of my entire career, and I owe him a lot of thanks for my success.
On the other side, I have been in several very uncomfortable learning environments. Often if I’m bored by the subject matter or not engaging with the teacher I check out and sometimes even drop out. I have started a few online programs and failed to finish due to the austerity of that teaching environment. Without feedback from fellow students or the teacher, it’s easy to lose interest. However, involvement with others and feedback from the teacher helps keep the excitement going through the learning process.
-
-
Hi Elizabeth. Thank you for sharing this – I have a similar chapter in my business career (I was a reluctant “sales” person (smile)) until I realized that it was THIS position, with THIS company, with THIS boss that I thought, oh this is something interesting and unique, and “oh, yeah. It happens to be a sales role.”
I love that you point to a mutual willingness and “offering” of that willingness by teach and student (teacher may be circumstances) to make a successful start and path together. So important. Thank you. 🙏
-
-
For me the ideal learning environment includes connection with other students as well as the instructor. I find that being together in a classroom, meditation hall, or online with others who want to learn the same thing and to engage makes all the difference. (I have so many online classes saved on my computer that I’m just waiting for the right time to get back to!) The environment makes a difference–organized, comfortable, supportive–but the feeling of community can turn a good experience into a magical one.
On the flipside, one or two people who clearly don’t have the same goals can really break the energy for everyone else. I once worked for a company where I did software training for a product that we sold. Most often, I had a core group of students who felt the software could truly make their jobs simpler/more effective/etc. and were very receptive. Occasionally though, someone would be told–usually the night before the 3-day training began–that they were required to attend. Understandably, they were resentful and sometimes surly. At best they simply tapped away at their keyboards or phones, ignoring me and their colleagues. But the ones who made it clear this was a waste of their time or asked lots of irrelevant or “gotcha” questions made it difficult for everyone. I was an outsider so it fell to their co-workers to deal with–and they usually did a stellar job of it! Once or twice though, it felt like the whole class went off the rails, and I was Charlie Brown’s teacher going WAH WAH WAH.
-
Luckily, I am a pretty flexible learner, and can succeed in a variety of learning environments. However I would like to describe two specific environments that were ideal, or close to ideal, for me.
The first was when I was on field study for a semester in Namibia. The parameters of the learning environment were: we were a small team of 12 students, 3 TAs, and a leading professor, either working all together or split into 3 teams. The small group became tight knit, both based on the fact that it was small and that we spent all day together for weeks. There was a lot of outdoors and experiential learning–we discussed a paper on a species or ecological dynamic and then we went into the field to see it. There was a lot of physical activity and motion. We always had notebooks on us and a small collection of other essential things–water, compass, watch, sun protection, binoculars. Despite certain difficulties that did arise during this program, I thrived in this environment. To summarize, a type-knit, deeply connected small group, based in experiential learning, supplemented by ‘book learning’, and framed with physical activity and motion. I think the ‘container’ in this instance was the physical journey and the limited 12 students, each of which I will never forget.
The second learning environment I will describe was on retreat with Susan at a center called Kripalu in Massachusetts. The parameters were – a group of about 30 people who spent a lot of time together. Wonderful, healthy, and fulfilling food was provided by the center (which was decidedly NOT a strength of my Namibia field study). There were learning sessions framed by the practice of meditation. There was a discussion element for feedback and self expression. Additionally, there was free time in which to reflect, write or read, and explore the facility and exercise, as well as participate in yoga classes. To summarize: a medium group size (still spending lots of connective time together), the practice of meditation, time for personal reflection, framed by a healthy diet and regular exercise. I think the containers here were the particular physical space of the center and the regular practice of meditation (and, for me, I would say yoga as well).
I feel that I succeed in an environment of balance. Balance of the mind, body, and heart. As well as being led by the experience of creating knowledge or wisdom, taking precedent over the study or reception of knowledge or wisdom.
Any experience that was not a good learning experience, in my view of hindsight, boils down to people in the learning group not being engaged. Success of the learning environment and sangha depends on the intention, respect, and engagement of ALL members. Even one person not engaging or being disrespectful can harm the energy and success of the group. More than, let’s say three, and the whole thing is off the rails. Worst of all, if your teacher/leader/guide is not engaged, well we all know the pains of that experience I am sure.
-
Hi Jake, thank you for this thoughtful reflection on your experience, especially those spent within a small-group setting. I, too, spoke on the special quality of the small group in my reflection (within the context of my writing group), and have really come to appreciate how valuable this container is for learning. I agree that deep connection and learning is fostered with time spent together, time that is imbued with intention, respect, and a commitment to working with—and for—one another. I also agree that the energy and success of a small group setting is dependent, in large part, to each individual showing up with the willingness and intention to engage. Thank you!
-
-
One of my first optimal learning experiences didn’t feel like it at the time – it was an opportunity to run a fitness center in a famous ski resort town. The owner and I worked closely together, side-by-side, in turning around an aging facility and developing a strong local following, with relevant and responsive programming, and facilities (we installed the first rock-climbing wall in the valley). The containment of the magic was a shared focus and passion for the facility itself, the members, and the Colorado ski town vibe and life. We were in it – the practical aspects were the “practice” (I see now) of cleaning, steam room mechanics, sump pump and electrical repairs, hiring/firing staffing and relationships, and being ultimately fully immersed in the experience. The struggle was my own “ego-identity” about “if I am the manager, why AM I scrubbing the toilets!?” My relationship with my business-friend, and the warmth and collaboration we shared, transformed the daily, mundane, and chores into something more with meaning and purpose. It was a magical chapter of learning and has informed me since.
Less ideal? There have been a few (smile). Mostly the common themes have been a lack of establishing a container, lacking clarity AND connection in the outcomes of the “learning journey”. How can magic happen if there is no container, or often the case, the container is not an agreed upon or defined (explicit) container between teacher and learner/class? We achieve through relationship.
One of my most challenging learning environments was at Upaya Zen Center in their chaplaincy program. There was a firm structure – assignments, calendar, program, mentors, reading lists, etc. But there was an absence of relationship from the Teachers. Now, part of that might be Zen (smile). But the “warm hand to warm hand” transmission (often cited) was missing for me. That was incongruent and ultimately, not sustainable for me. There was also a clear hierarchy, which was said to not exist, but clearly did. So, there was a “gaslighty” feel to it. Where the container is not established, or overly established as to one side (teacher or student), where these is no meeting of hearts and minds, then learning cannot happen. What is the shared journey? There is a need to “keep it light and tight” as a colleague-collaborator has named it.
-
Hi Clif, I really connected with your reflection about the challenging learning environment you experienced. Your words had me nodding in agreement. I, too, feel that true learning and deep exploration are difficult when there is no space or opportunity to connect with others–no meeting of hearts and minds, as you so beautifully stated. It reminded me that this quality of connection has always been a constant in the spaces where I felt learning and growing could thrive. Thank you!
-
-
I experienced an ideal learning environment at a 5-day retreat: The schedule was clear, expectations were set, there were opening and closing sessions, we were in silence when we weren’t in session even for meals which took all social pressures away, they provided great food, and opportunities to stretch, do yoga, or walk each day. I wanted to never lose the feeling I had when it was over. Talk about grasping lol.
For my less-than-ideal learning environment, I guess I’ll go way back to high school. I didn’t know or trust the people running the school, they had extremely high expectations, we were in competition with other students, and there was a lot of pressure and stress.
What a difference.A small story: Recently I went to a sound bath. It was deeply relaxing and very nice but after it was over the teacher simply sat there, and then a few people spoke, and then one or two took Tarot cards and a then a couple of others walked out, so we did too and I just thanked her on the way out. I was so bothered by the fact that she never formally closed the session. It was so strange…
-
I am currently enrolled in a program that embodies one example, from my perspective, of a learning environment that bends toward the ideal. It’s a fiction writer’s workshop that meets in small groups every week. Each week, we rotate through writing excerpts, submitted the week prior by 2 members of the group, for our reading and evaluation. By the end of the program, we will all have submitted multiple large excerpts from our work for critique and guidance. Our small group of six writers stays the same throughout. This fosters connection, accountability, commitment, and support as we work through our stories. We know how hard each writer has worked to create their manuscripts, for we have each done the same ourselves.
In my group, we’re all in the early stages of revising our completed drafts, and therefore our work is far from the shiny, polished gem we hope it eventually becomes. Instead, it exists in a fledgling state, testing out its wings, vulnerable and delicately held. Just as with a real baby bird, there comes the day when the fledgling must be coaxed to take a courageous leap from the nest. In our critiques with each other, we work to find this balance between being constructive with our words and advice; while providing honest feedback for areas we feel their novel could be strengthened.
Fiction takes universal truths and experiences, and filters them through an individual’s (or individuals/society/culture’s) unique perspective. As a group, we honor this process as an unfolding and awakening that is unique to each person’s story. We commit to helping and supporting each other through this process as best we can, and bring our own unique perspectives to the reading experience. When we meet, we engage in a form of deep listening that honors what each voice brings to the table. Inherent is the recognition of our own vulnerability, our own search for truths in the words and stories we write.
In this open and receptive state, I feel it is almost impossible not to learn from and about each other as we workshop the excerpts. We see each other and our stories better. We see ourselves in our stories. This openness naturally allows us to notice and hold the feelings that can come up during critique, the tendency to cling or reject. There is both a tenderness and a “toughness” at play here. A space which allows us to go deeper in the exploration of our own work, navigating uncharted waters that hold treasures just beneath their murky depths, if we only choose to look. But there is one truth we all know and hold. We are not alone in this process, and there is great comfort in that. -
For me, ideal learning situations are those characterized by one-on-one settings, where teaching and learning happen in a judgement-free environment that is accepting of errors and hare-brained ideas, not just brilliant answers. The inverse or absence of these conditions, for me anyway, creates an environment where learning requires much more effort and has a lower probability of long-term success.
In my more recent experience, a teacher has consistently created a positive learning environment where he offers me alternative perspectives to the stories I have created about people and events. These perspectives have almost always helped me see things more clearly, pushing away delusions I had created for the sake of my own emotional comfort.
Having the time and space to reflect in this learning situation is critical, as is the understanding that there’s no humiliation in admitting an error or seeing a delusion for what it is.
So I try to incorporate these positive conditions in my own teaching situations, and I look to see if they’re effective – or need adjustment given the learning style of the person I’m trying to help or teach.
-
In my view, an ideal learning environment provides the space to figure out how to solve problems independently. While I value guidance from a mentor or teacher, I prefer having the autonomy to research different methods and decide on the best approach myself. I appreciate a mentor who takes the time to explain their thinking and methodology; once I understand their approach, I like to apply it and then refine it to find even better solutions. I thrive under leadership that is open to new perspectives rather than expecting blind execution.
Conversely, I find it challenging to work in an environment where I am expected to follow detailed instructions without context or the ability to improve upon the methodology.
-
My ideal learning environment is a small group where everyone has a chance to get to know each other and contribute to the discussion. My favorite experience in college was during a study abroad program where 80 students from my school went to live and study in a Dutch castle that the school owned (yes, it was a real castle with a real moat, so cool!). I was in the honors program, which had a required class that semester, but there were only 4 honors students at the castle so our “class” turned into a cozy seminar that was taught by the director of the program in a small meeting room on one of the upper floors of the castle. Our teacher was this beautiful, brilliant woman who spoke 7 languages and lead us in fascinating discussions about sociobiology each week while we sat around this old wooden table drinking tea. I wasn’t particularly interested in the topic initially, but the learning experience was so magical that it became my favorite class.
My least favorite learning experiences have been most of the corporate training programs I’ve encountered in my adult life. The absolute worst are the web-based learning modules with poorly-acted short videos and multiple-choice quizzes to make sure you actually watch the bad video. I also had a particularly bad experience during my first in-person training session when I started working in the tax group at EY. I was the only lawyer in a room full of accountants who were all far more familiar with accounting terminology that I was. I felt completely lost and the session was so fast-paced that neither the instructor nor the people at my table had the patience to help me get up to speed. My level of stress and feeling overwhelmed ballooned during the two hours and the only reason I passed the quiz at the end was because the instructor felt bad when I was the last person in the room retaking the quiz for the third time, nearly in tears thinking I was going to fail and lose my job, so they fed me enough right answers to get a passing score.
-
Oh my gosh Stina, the feeling of not understanding something that everyone else seems to be getting is hard. But I think I’d be pretty discouraged to not be able to find a way to catch up (which I think is part of the instructor’s role to help learners with). It’s a nightmare scenario, and I’m sorry you went through that.
-
-
Best learning environment:
My current Japanese language instruction is very intense, but organized so well. Expectations are very clear, the Instructor and Assistants are very available, there is community among students that is highly supported, and content builds week on week. We are celebrated for every success, and perfection is not necessary. I have been trying to learn Japanese off & on my entire life, at several times making more strides than others. Now, planning to retire here, I feel I must finally learn, and it just so happens I have finally found the best approach for me for this particular endeavour. If it goes well, I’ll seek similar style learning for other languages too!
Worst learning environment:
This is controversial and may offend/upset some people. When I was just out of university, I moved from home in Canada to work in LA in the film industry. As a side, for my own well-being, I was doing a lot of what was then called ‘Bikram’ yoga. I came to know that training to teach Bikram classes was done right there in LA, so I signed up, very excited to add ‘Yoga Instructor’ to my resume, and get classes in at the same time. The training was expensive and exhaustive, in a huge room with mirrors all around, Bikram himself on a pedestal, mic’d up, mostly barking at us, 100’s of student yogis. (*In hindsight, wasn’t that a red flag?) The environment was over-sexualized, especially for the women. There was no real encouragement, and at times, degradation. Suffice it to say Bikram was not a generous or kind Teacher, and to be honest a megalomaniac and what would now be referred to as a Narcissist. He has since been put out of business, sued repeatedly for sexual assault and there is even a Netflix documentary about him. I went on to teach “hot yoga” in LA & back in Toronto in a non Bikram identified studio. I vow’d to never “follow” anyone like Bikram again, and to choose Teachers who show their humanity. Luckily, despite the ‘cult of personality’ being alive and well, I have had some great Teachers since, in and off the mat. I feel like my Bikram experience taught me amply about how to choose safe spaces for learning, and I dodged a bullet, not falling for his star power!-
I want to add (having trouble editing the original post in the forum) that in hindsight, and now with training in harm reductive and non-oppressive frameworks, Bikram created an environment that was psychologically and physically very UN-safe. I now know this can be the behaviour of self proclaimed ‘Guru’ characters and even cult leaders. It can lead to indoctrination and even radicalization. My exposure (pun intended very much) to Bikram had long-lasting ill effects in my life that ranged from a deep distrust of all men to my questioning my own choices. I said I now seek Teachers who display humanity. I should add humility as well. The upside? My reckoning with that experience has led to me becoming a great helper, first as a physical Therapist and now as a mental health professional. I am determined to be better and do better, and create safe spaces for learning, walking beside my clients — not barking from the podium.
-
-
-
My ideal learning environment involves interacting and understanding over a period of time. I think the interacting part is key. If I could add safe space to ask questions and seek clarification that would add to the experience as well. I learn by doing, but I am not a learn by doing alone unless I have instruction to follow. I think that is why the container concept is so appealing to me. In person learning is my preference as I struggle with insecurities that seem to creep in when I’m home alone. I like to interact with others, and the energy of a group is helpful to me. That said, I prefer that group to be small and the lessons individual. I attended a ten-week leadership training workshop through the county where I started my business. There was a workbook with an outline and weekly lessons, a presenter each week and then time for interaction and discussion. It was just the right balance of interpersonal communication and independent application. I have referred back to that experience quite often over the years.
My less-than-ideal experience(s) are impersonal. I can easily find myself lost in a crowd, so I don’t take to environments where I am simply a number. It’s not that I don’t learn in that type of environment, but what I learn isn’t necessarily the key points on the syllabus. I am motivated, but I am not competitive. The mere thought of highly competitive or strictly rote learning environments makes my stomach knot and my brain freeze. Upon reflection, impersonal environments make me very uncomfortable. I keep coming back to a class in high school. The teacher was unapologetically focused on her very select group of students. I LOVED the subject, but all I remember is embarrassment and this teacher’s lack of care. It was a great example to me of what not to do and after thirty plus years remains an experience I will not knowingly subject myself to ever again.
I am grateful that there have been far more positive environments and opportunities for learning. I think my most valuable lesson was taught to me in a parking lot by my sister. We were headed to a meeting and met at a central location to finish the drive together. This was before GPS and I was adamant that my way was the right way. She looked at me and said something like – Why does it matter? There is more than one way to get there – It was a lightbulb moment for me. YES, there are many ways and mine wasn’t/isn’t the only way, best way, etc. We made it to the meeting. We kept the client until they no longer had the work for us. I have kept the lesson as a reminder, and it has served me well.
-
Hi Kimberly,
I smiled so big when I read that part about your sister! I actually often miss pre-GPS driving, just for moments like the one you describe. When you or two people are figuring out how to be and how to go somewhere together. I also appreciate your reflection that impersonal learning spaces aren’t always supportive–when I’ve enjoyed those spaces, it’s been because I want to hide and I appreciate the invitation to reflect on spaces where I can both participate and feel seen.
-
-
Please describe a situation where you had an ideal learning environment. Please describe a less-than-ideal environment from your personal experience.
Ideal Situation: My best learning experiences with respect to my spiritual practice have been on retreat and the time near after. I enjoy being immersed on retreat. The presence of a trustworthy teacher who I am inspired to work with creating a container for focused practice and learning accompanies my best memories. I love being able to set aside the time, to steep in the retreat, choosing to remain as close to the retreat mandala as I can while there, knowing that the rest of life is there for me when I return. I also love collaborative learning, when there are some group aspects to what we are doing and shared experiences with Sangha. I also need sufficient alone time on retreat and in a learning environment to absorb the material, insight from practice, to process, rest, and recharge. Comfortable accommodations, if at all possible I get my own room, delicious and healthy food, a beautiful environment, are also so helpful to me as this creates an ease of mind for me to be on retreat. Over time, I have learned that I need to take what I have learned with me when I go and apply it relatively soon post retreat in my own practice, and teaching others if this is yoga, to make-it-stick by developing my own personal experience of it in my day-to-day life. I just returned from a yoga retreat near Sayulita Mexico in February, so a retreat setting as an environment for learning is top of mind.
Less-than-ideal Situation: I have a less than ideal memory that comes to mind, occurring about 20 years ago. I was 27 and so motivated to attend this in-person retreat with my Geshe that I put the entire cost on my credit card in order to travel from SE Alaska to N Germany. He was offering the Highest Yoga Tantra Empowerment of Vajrayogini with detailed instructions on the practice of self-generation and a new edition of the accompanying text. This was my first HYT empowerment and I was so ready that I didn’t want to wait until he was closer to my location – not likely ever closer than England as he was getting older and no longer traveled far from his home in the UK. So, I was ready. Several NW Sangha mates and our ordained teacher were going, too. To keep it short, basically. . . the retreat location, selected by the local Sangha, was out on a beautiful lake in a wooded area, but the accommodations were like an institutional dormitory, concrete, cold, sleeping on metal cots, and with near zero bathroom or bathing privacy. The food was all the same color, beige, and almost completely composed of starch and dairy. My sleep was off, my digestion was off. With respect to supporting learning, the environment was totally off. Still, I was so happy to be there receiving this direct teaching from my Geshe, in many respects nothing else really mattered. There is more that I won’t get into here and now, other than saying that it was the last time that I spent time with my NW Sangha teacher before she disrobed and left the tradition to be in a relationship with one of her students. So, this example of a less than ideal learning environment comes to mind with humor, tenderness, and also sorrow. Although it’s been years, the latter aspect took me years to process. I met one of my closest friends to this day in that Sangha. I love the photograph that we took together in our young at tender 20s near that lake in Germany, smiling in the sunshine with all the potential of the teachings we had just received on our hearts and much of life still ahead of us.
-
Hi Jodi,
I loved reading these reflections of best and less than ideal experience back-to-back as I can really feel the growth and depth of understanding of someone who has committed themselves to a life of practice and growth. I completely empathize with wanting to charge the whole spiritual experience at get to where you’re called to get immediately, and then getting the realization that the people there are human beings and flawed and complicated, etc. I also like the way you reminded me that after a retreat, I get to make my own relationship to new practices by making them a part of my life. When I don’t do that, I really end up romanticizing retreat space as the “only place” where that type of growth and attention is possible.
-
-
My less than ideal learning experience is trying to rigidly achieve a perfect experience at any given moment.
It’s only in recent years that I have understood that I am attending (even when speaking) at a conference to both be of benefit and also to receive benefit. I used to take a work conference schedule as Biblical and show up to EVERYTHING, even when it meant that I was not showing up as my best self (irritated, impatient, hungry).
Ideal Experience: Last year in Seattle, I chose a few sessions to attend at a work conference, gave my presentation, and spent the rest of my time either a) at the aquarium or b) eating the best apples that I have ever had and reading something non-conference related. I work at the intersection of storytelling and public health, so these conference spaces can be very trauma-intensive. I am more aware, now, of my threshold for intake including: just because I *can* take that in, doesn’t mean I have to.
I look back at that Seattle conference with so much fondness. I was very attentive at what I attended, and I enjoyed the in-between spaces immensely. That experience has actually inspired me in my day-to-day life in NYC as I began to want to feel the way I did just taking a break with an apple and a book. I love to read about Quantum Physics and as someone who approaches that topic without any training or background I got a great tip right in the beginning: I will never understand everything, so I don’t have to try. I can pay attention to what feels fascinating, curious, flag things I need more information about, and try to enjoy the experience in the best way I can. The same can be true for other learning environments. It’s impossible to achieve mastery–maybe ever–but especially with fraying or triggered attention. So I’d rather have a better quality experience than a tick-every-box experience.
-
This is a difficult one for me to answer because my idea of an ideal learning environment has changed. I used to think I needed quiet, stillness. Now I think that I learn the most in situations that make me uncomfortable. For example, this class has many moments where I feel uncomfortable. The discomfort is in the intimacy of listening to people’s shares. Being envious that people are able to express themselves to freely without fear of judgement, or with the fear but pushing through it anyway.
I think what I have learned most from this class is that everything is impermanent. My preferences included.
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.