Week 1 Essay
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What came to mind after the first class is that I really need to take care of Hinayana business in my home practice. I have a small altar, but it’s tucked away a bit. It’s time to rethink the space and how it figures into my daily practice. I do live with the intention of bringing precision and thoughtful priority to an honorable life – to me, the needed foundation for any practice. How can I work for the well being of others if my small life is in disarray?
The Mahayana is, for me, what Buddhism is all about. What’s the point of existing if it is not to open to others and how to love them? My daily practice is usually shikantaza, a Zen practice, which seems to be all about the intention to be a bodhisattva, saving all beings (quite an aspiration, no?). I am currently reading a thought-provoking book, How To Be Perfect by Michael Schur, which explains a wonderful African concept called “ubuntu.” The idea is that “A person is a person through other people,” the essence of which seems to be something like doing everything we do to improve the entire community. That rang a bell for me since it dovetails with the Buddhist view of interconnectedness, a very Mahayana concept.
And the Vajrayana – hoo, boy, I cannot even get a handle on that. (My mind always pictures the amazing and eloquent Crystal Gandrud as sort of a Vajrayana priestess.) To quote Susan, “These teachings focus on what you might concern yourself with once your personal life and your heart are in a settled state….” To imagine that my personal life and my heart could ever really by in a settled state is a stretch. The daily coping with samsara does not seem to lend itself to feeling settled, in my experience. Or perhaps that is the point: navigating the storm tossed sea of samsara could be the very state of being settled, riding the waves.
There is a part of me that sees the Hinayana as the 101 course, foundational and basic, with the Mahayana as the 200 or 300 level courses, and Vajrayana as either the 400 level or grad school. And here I am figuring out Kindergarten!-
Dear Sue Ellen,
I appreciated reading your response and am happy to join you in the Kindergarten sandbox 😀
Thank you for sharing a little about the African concept of “ubuntu”. I’m taking away that it’s only through our interconnectedness, with each other and all of life, that we truly ARE anything at all 🙏🏼
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All present in my practice, I just need to notice.
I see the Hinayana as the part of my practice that honors the simplicity and discipline of my practice. The Mahayana allows me to be vulnerable and feel the things I need to feel to be able to open my heart. The Vajrayana allows me stay open to whatever I am experiencing without judgement. -
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I am currently reading Chogyam Trungpa’s teachings on Hinayana, The Path of Individual Liberation. One thing that has really struck me in the reading so far is the idea of seeing things as they truly are, that the dharma of every thing is just what it is. (I’m paraphrasing, and hopefully not misconstruing things too terribly.) This idea has really been sticking with me lately beyond meditation, trying to see things just as they are and not attaching stories or reactivity. It’s also really heightened my awareness that I’m barely able to take in much of what’s happening or present at any given moment. I’m very unaware. I find the idea of seeing how the world really works fascinating. I have no idea how to do it.
I think I find Mahayana in sangha. Both in our Saturday meeting this morning and in other sanghas I’ve attended, there’s a sense of commonality of human experience and also a real felt sense of compassion and open heartedness that is amazing and transcendent. Also, Susan said in the reading, “On the absolute plane, love and compassion manifest as emptiness.” I find this simultaneously terrifying and liberating. It makes sense to me on some level I can’t articulate.
I have less of a sense of Vajrayana, but I am very intrigued. “To walk this path requires continual letting go of concepts, ideas, judgments, and thoughts and plunging yourself into a state of groundlessness and, somehow, stabilizing yourself there.” Yes! Groundlessness, the middle path. Neither here nor there, but not not here and not not there. (Again, paraphrasing, and perhaps badly.) This too, yes.
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I love Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche’s writings and teachings as well! You will likely enjoy Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism as well. I love your phrase “I find this simultaneously terrifying and liberating.” Beautiful perspective, funny how that is how reality is; seemingly different and similar at the same time. Simple and yet complex. I am happy to be in this class with you!
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Intellectually I understand all 3 are encompassed in meditation practice. I feel the elements of the Hinayana in my sitting with whatever is…my various thoughts and feelings and not judging. Just staying with whatever my life is…not wanting another “now”. Mahayana: I feel my heart softening and opening as I wish to be of benefit to others. I’m delighted to have taken the Meditation Teacher Training course and look forward to leading the sitting in a few days. I see that as a direct way to hopefully be of benefit to others. Vajrayana: The more and more I take to heart Susan’s teachings, I feel myself letting go of needing “objective” reasoning and more opening to “not knowing”.
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In my personal meditation practice, the Hinayana feels very present: I have relatively strong habit energy around discipline and I find the idea of – and usually the practice of – container and ritual very comforting. I’m highly imperfect of course and I actually find that imperfection in myself fascinating now that I’ve had even (only!) a few years of observing it through the lens of the dharma. Where I struggle the most is self-compassion. I guess that means, cue the Mahayana..?
The Mayahana is my growth edge in my current practice. I know that the only time I ever really feel at peace is when I am connecting with other human beings, and yet it’s difficult and not historically my go-to. Strange, isn’t it. With the support of my kalyanamitra Marisa Viola, I feel much closer to this yana, and yet lifetimes to go!
The Vajryana feels very mysterious, and like it isn’t part of my current practice except as part of my aspiration to wake up. I occasionally notice a gap in my conceptual thinking, is that waking up?
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So glad to be part of this circle.
Some notes on “Where I see the 3 yanas in my personal meditation practice” at this moment, with brand-new understanding of the concepts:
Hinayana – I have set up sacred space, objects and intent. Morning ritual, not always in this order: 2 cups of tea during 3 morning pages, meditation, Yoga with Adriene (daily for 4+ years), walk the dog following her lead, feed the dog, engage in correspondence. Catch up on the news. Trying for awareness in the moment, through meditation and beyond. Very elusive! During meditation, returning again and again to now; that’s working. Habit, discipline, container. What can I give up? That almost daily can of cider? . . .
Mahayana – Ten years of sitting with Pema Chodron on audiotape in a walkman, 20-minute lovingkindness meditation. Ten years of Heartmath practice with biofeedback, heart focus heart breathing heart feeling. Singing “may I feel safe, may I be happy, may I be healthy, may I live in peace,” and “may we all . . .”, while walking with my dog. Emotions: Having an open heart allows suffering to enter. Meditation practice has increased my range of emotions and my vulnerability. Enneagram studies, practices, film & literature group are heart-opening to self and others. Is it Mahayana practice?
Vajryana – Living in a sacred world. I recently moved back to the Bay Area after 40+ years here and 4 years away, because I longed for the vivid sacredness I experience in this place (and some others, but this place also offers old friends). The Bay is sentient. The sparkles. The sky, the tree, the horizon. My soul leaps up. Magic. (Figuring out a way to live here also requires magic. So far, friends and what seems like great luck have provided homes.)
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I am attracted to evolving through a process, i like the idea of the slower the better.
Ive taken the long way and the short way getting to places I have no idea how, and not getting to places i thought i knew how. Ive heard that a long walk into the forest and finding yourself lost as i did, requires a journey. Ive been very alone in the dark woods at times , however I’ve not felt alone on this fantastic, mind blowing journey, really blowing up habits of thought and actions I felt i had no control over. Most the time i hated myself and felt shame about certain thoughts and actions.
I was and always will be attracted to the beauty of the woods and can now allow myself to be more curious and marvel at what’s presently around me. I have a certain place in my house where i meditate. The discipline is there and i love being part of a sanga and sharing honestly without shame, because the sanga supports me.
I’m becoming more and more aware of my need to consume as much as I can from a situation without seeing the little stuff that blocks my view. I want all my things around me at once and I’m unable to feel my breath! -
Quick notes on the three yanas-
Hinayana: I am present in my sacred space during my first tea of the day and doing my meditation. Since I combined my first tea with meditation and set up a visually appealing spot in my house, my meditation has been consistent and an open-awareness practice and acceptance.
Mahayana: I struggle with this one. I’ve been meditating online with koans, and that has helped a lot. It gets me to feel open-hearted, as these older stories and “zip files” resonate with me.
Vajrayana: Tea feels sacred and magical. How is one plant able to be cultivated and processed into so many different flavors and somatic experiences? I don’t know. It could be magic.
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For me, Hinayana is the essence of getting to the cushion. It’s the self imposed discipline to make the time to meditate, to sense the breath in the body, to follow the out breath into the ether. But Hinayana seems to concentrate on “me” and how I’m doing the meditation. After many, many sits, I felt ready for allowing the broadening (I prefer broader vehicle to “greater” which seems to have a judgmental aspect to it) of my practice to other beings besides myself. Although I have taken the Bodhisattva vow, I have a long, long ways (perhaps many lives) to go toward progress of finding/giving compassion to other sentient beings. And as for vajrayana, I enjoy the mental exercise of reading Chogyam Trungpa, but admit I have a very superficial understanding, but look forward to discovering more of the magic!
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Wow. Essay #1 is inviting me to dive right in and open up to creating a whole new framework for my life. Honestly, I have been a meditation “dabbler” my whole adult life, starting when I was 21 and I told my religious studies professor that I wanted to learn to meditate and he suggested a Vipassana retreat. That was definitely jumping in the deep end. I have come back to meditation again and again over the years.
I see Hinayana as a way for me to create a dedicated meditation space in my home, which I have yet to do. I have a place in mind, and I have a lovely meditation bench which provides good support. I understand the need for creating this intentional space in order to give me a foundation to grow from.
My work place in the hospital allows me to practice love and compassion, Mahayana. In the hospital we see patients and families at their most vulnerable. I have so many opportunities daily at work to practice and be present for people.
At this point in my journey, vajrayana feels very elusive and mysterious, so I’ll just stay open to its possibilities with an “empty cup” attitude.
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Hi Karen, I love how you keep “coming back” to meditation throughout your life. It seems it has a deeper meaning for you that wants to be expressed in your life. It’s like the practice itself, continually “coming Back” to the breath. I am glad to be in this class with you and on a similar journey. I too started meditating in my 20s, but left only to come back years later.
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How I see the Three Yanas in my personal meditation practice and my life is an amazing question to explore. I don’t really see them as showing up separately in my practice and life, they are inextricably bound together in my practice and life, but I will endeavor to separate them for the purpose of examination. It is a wonderful characteristic that things are both separate and not separate at the same time, I believe that is a part of the magic.
I see the Hinayana in my practice and life as the foundation of everything, where it begins, without this foundation, it is very difficult to move forward or make any “progress” on any path you are on, both in sitting and in life. In my meditation practice, I see the foundation in my personal discipline to meditate daily in the morning and the evening, at least 20 minutes each time. And spend a few minutes after meditation contemplating my practice and some aspects of Buddha’s foundational teaching of the Four Noble Truths. I also practice morning and evening chants as part of my foundation to ground my meditation into my Lineage and protect my practice. This also goes along with my life beyond the “cushion”, in that I have a daily routine or foundation so that I can best try to have a day that is “good” and “productive”, whatever that means on any particular day. As well as a night routine to have a good sleep as much as possible to help my body be as healthy as possible (doesn’t always work, lol).
The Mahayana shows up in my meditation practice at the same time because I am not only practicing for myself but to show up as myself in service to others. My practice, I hope, allows me to be more me, so that people I interact with can relax and do the same. On the “cushion,” I do practice Tonglen regularly and Loving Kindness meditation practice to benefit others. My practice always starts with me, but also always emanates outward to benefit all sentient beings. At the closing of my practice, I dedicate the merit so that whatever comes up in my practice can have some benefit to all beings, which is very important to me. In my life the Mahayana shows up in my life purpose, my mission, to be the best coach I can be and to help as many people as I can. In my coaching business and my life, I am always trying to be awake and of service to others, it is a way of being for me, and I do my best to help those who want my help. The Mahayana shows up in my mission to reduce the amount of depression that is showing up in the world today, especially in men.
Finally, not finally, the Vajrayana shows up in my practice and my life “off the cushion” in indescribable ways that I, most of the time, do not notice until after the fact. That is the magic of it really. I know that my day seems to go “better” when I meditate in the morning and not as well on the odd day that I do not. I don’t think that is a coincidence at all. During my practice I have had rare times when something “different” or “magic” happens, not sure what it is or how to describe it, so I won’t. I have had insights during my meditation practice which is awesome and likely comes from being open to it or being “empty” to whatever comes up. In my life, I am certain that the Vajrayana has and will continue to show up. I am certain because I know that this “magic” allowed me, in some unknown way, to heal from depression. And I came across the practice in a mysterious, coincidental, not coincidental way. One day I was delivering flyers and saw some monks practicing walking meditation, and for some reason, it sparked something inside of me to reach out to them later that day. The Vajrayana “magic” is real and in my life. -
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When I bring to mind hinayana energy what surfaces is being consistent with practice, diligent about the form/posture and the commitment to return to the object of meditation. It’s core, a steeping in the greater heart-mind.
When I bring to mind Mahayana energy what surfaces is the four divine abodes (or tea bags 😉 of lovingkindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity. If I am consistent and diligent, my experience reveals that I can return to a sense of embodiment and from this place of embodiment my actions off the cushion are more likely to carry the flavor of those abodes.
When I bring to mind Vajrayana energy what surfaces is essence and touching the beauty of the mysterious process that is me. It’s that energy which reminds me that I am awake.
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What do the three yanas mean to me?
hinayana – I NEED this vehicle. The discipline, simplicity, consistency of practice. Honesty. The dedication to the container that produces the magic.
mahayana – compassion, the sangha. A connection with the sangha makes the road meaningful and simultaneously eases the road.
varjayana – Vajryana is the most elusive for me at this point. Yet, here I am, and I think there is a deep reason for that. I was drawn here somehow and feel more and more at home in this sangha.
My intuition is that vajryana tugs at my heart and brings me alive. The paradox and the mystery mystery gives me the energy to practice and to be. -
Hinayana: For me, I think of the Hinayana as just doing the task. Putting in the work. Simple, concrete follow through. For example, sometimes it is hard for me to just get to the practice of meditation. I tend to wander and putter around in the morning, Hinayana for me means just getting to it and knowing the sit doesn’t have to be perfect, but I do have to actually do it!
Mahayana: This is the place where I see the greater aspirations of my work, my intentions in taking this class (through a more focused study to see more clearly) and the way I show up for the people I love in my life.
Vajrayana: I think I only see this vehicle in flashes and very rarely in my practice. I remember when I first started practicing how alive my senses felt, I particularly remember eating a delicious summer peach and really paying attention to that experience in a very profound way. For me, I think the Vajrayana flashes come up more in my life experiences — or more like I can sense the edge of the Vajrayana sometimes. I remember during the pandemic when I lived in New York City, taking walks around my neighborhood and really looking at the plant life, esp the Spring flowers on the trees, I could *see* their magic — and they looked very different on those walks even though I had walked by them for years. I often get a sense of this vehicle (I think?) when something cataclysmic is happening in my life or the world — the outer serious circumstance wakes me up to the ordinary sacred in daily life. I think the idea is to bring the Vajrayana into your life even when the cataclysm is not present. I am not there yet!
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