WEEK NINE ESSAY
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To the core of this question, offering the instruction to another person: yes. I feel I have absorbed the technique myself and can guide someone else to the same understanding. For me the key piece was finding the language in myself to be able to set the container for someone else, and guide them through the steps; to create the conditions for the technique to work its magic. The practice breakouts, deepening context around my own practice, and processing of our group’s experiences and insights has added up. I feel I can call on that internal language to meet another person and respond to them in the moment, to give them what they need in order to learn.
Missing? The confidence is growing but not complete. I feel there could be questions I might not handle as well as I’d want, that there are things I don’t yet know. I can’t anticipate all that might arise in this connection between myself and a student. But balancing that, I have come to trust that feeling solid in the instruction itself, sensitive to the possibility of what might arise between teacher and student, and approaching the teaching role with clear intentions will help me navigate it all to create an experience that works for someone else. I’m sure working more times with more people will let me relax into it, develop that confidence more.
Am I prepared to put myself out there to offer 1:1 instruction? This feels much less certain. Trying to unpack the feeling a little – I think there’s more I need to gather before I can step into that. Like it’s a threshold to cross, where you declare yourself to the world. Not just the commitment piece, which doesn’t seem out of reach, but can I be that person really? Can I give enough and maybe more than that, do I have enough behind me to give others confidence in me, to trust me? That if I say I can teach meditation there’s a real basis for people taking a look and saying, yes I trust this person to do that for me. History, track record, credentials, time in lineage? Maybe those feel like they’re missing.
I heard the comment in class that you never feel ready and it resonates.
I sense that there may never be a moment when I feel okay, I know everything I need, I’ve got my diploma, I’m ready, but I feel close to ready to embrace that and begin anyway.-
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Colin, so much of what you have shared resonates with me. I too feel that there is “more I need to gather.” But I also appreciate the sentiment that you’ll never feel ready…and like you, I will place my trust in the technique to help me take the leap of faith. Really appreciate the way you’ve expressed all of this: )
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Yes, but if I’m being honest, that was not a concern for me.
I’m far from perfect and always have more to learn, but with more than two decades of teaching everything from middle-school theater to graduate level courses in tax law (plus a degree in education), I feel pretty good about my general ability to teach lots of stuff. My goals in taking this training were to further improve my ability to give meditation instruction, to better understand what I may not already know, and also to have the legitimacy of being able to say I completed a formal training.A few thoughts came up during class this week, so I’ll share them here in case it is of benefit to others. These are a few nuggets of teaching wisdom I have picked up from my teachers and my own experience over the years:
* You don’t need to be an expert to be a good teacher. Your students probably can’t tell whether you know 1% or 1000% more about a topic than they do and the best teachers will admit that they are still learning. I like to say that you don’t know what you don’t know until you try to explain it to another person, and in a good teaching environment you will learn a lot from your students.
* Admit when you don’t know something or are unsure. I have smart students that ask me lots of things I don’t know. There have been many times that I have to say “I don’t know, but let me think about it and get back to you.” Similarly, admit when you are wrong. No one knows everything and we all make mistakes. Your students will be forgiving of your ignorance and your imperfections if you are open and honest about them.
* Don’t expect that the nerves/fear will ever go away. The college professor who taught my education courses was the best teacher I have ever known. She taught thousands of students of all ages for decades. She was a true master and watching her teach was something to marvel. But she admitted to us that before every single class she ever taught, she was still nervous and secretly wished the fire alarm would go off. This isn’t a flaw; it’s a feature of a good teacher because it means you care.
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Thanks, Stina~ I appreciate your teaching nuggets. I especailly loved and have expereienced the truth of the fact that we will learn so much from the students. I have felt that in parenting, and in all the classes I have taught: the students are a blessing to me and help me to grow so much! I also really liked your nugget about the nerves/fear not going away being a feature of the teacher’s caring. I think that’s true – my nervousness always calls me to be ready, to bring my best, and to clarify to myself my intentions for the class.
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I really resonate with your essay, Stina, and I love your teaching nuggets. Thank you for sharing them. They reminded me 1) of how I learned early on in teaching a cadaver-based anatomy lab to medical students in a high-paced, high-stress environment, that it was SO much better to just say you don’t know, even though it felt scary and uncertain as a young teacher. However, I found a trick that worked especially well for anatomy lab, where I could just say, “You know, I actually don’t know that either off the top of my head, let’s look that up together!” There were so many benefits here: I deepened my relationship with the students by taking the time to look things up with them, I showed them it was ok not to know, and they got to see how I would go about finding the information myself. I remember it feeling like a huge breakthrough at the time. And 2) I’ll never forget a fellow teacher coming up to my AFTER a lab and telling me she didn’t know an answer, so she made something up, and she’d realized now she had gave the student the wrong information. She asked me what I would do. I said I would go to the student and tell them you’re sorry and give them the correct information. We’re all human, and I felt the student would respect the teacher more for owning up to the mistake rather than not and having the student (god forbid) go on thinking something that was incorrect. Btw, I don’t know how it turned out, but she did approach the student and explain.
So much to contemplate and unpack in your essay – thank you! -
Stina, these are helpful nuggets. Yes, we can’t know everything about what we are teaching, and I agree that it is good to acknowledge this. Telling a student, “I don’t have the answer to that, but let me get back to you” is honest and helpful. So true that nerves don’t ever really go away! Yes, they certain lessen over time, but all of a sudden a unique teaching experience can make them show up. Thanks for sharing!
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Hi Stina,
Deeply appreciate your perspective on trusting yourself to know enough to create a space of inquiry and also being comfortable saying “I don’t know”–we’ve all gotten (or asked!) one of those questions of a teacher. I always admire when someone calls in another resource or perspective and we can sort of collab to come together for an answer. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective -
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Do I feel ready to offer one-to-one instruction in meditation?
Hmmmm….
Yes – I can give the instructions we’ve practiced to another, and I have reviewed the FAQs, so I feel mostly ready to transmit what I have received from this class.
No – There’s a part of me that wants to be perfect before I take such a step, and…I’ll never get there.
Maybe – if I can just be another human, acknowledging to myself that I know only a little. If I can be willing to be vulnerable and imperfect, in order to be helpful to another and pass on what was given to me. If I can be on my own journey of self-discovery, while I offer instruction to someone else who is on theirs. If I am allowed to make mistakes and learn. If I am able to stay true to keeping it simple, while at the same time extending my personal warmth…. then maybe I could…-
Kat – all those “ifs” in your last paragraph – from what I’ve seen of you in class, all of those things are manifested. Especially your personal warmth – that’s so strong that I feel it, even through the little square on my laptop! I think anyone who is lucky enough to receive instruction from you will absolutely feel all of that, and feel welcomed in.
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Kat, yes, I agree, we have to acknowledge that despite our study and intention we are still learning, too. As a student I would appreciate having a teacher who sees their teaching as a journey of learning and growth. This would make me feel more confident of my process, and that I don’t have to be perfect. Thanks for sharing.
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The question I’ve been asking myself is: Do I feel ready? I feel ready, in the sense that I have been preparing, i.e. learning and practicing. But preparation is by definition something we do beforehand. Readiness feels more like willingness to go ahead and do it, knowing that there’s no such thing as complete preparedness/mastery/competence.
It reminds me of how I felt as a new therapist – so strongly aware of my inexperience. I was really looking forward to having been a therapist for 10 years, so I’d have the confidence in my competence/abilities/intuition. Now, 20+ years in, I have that strong confidence, as well as the accompanying curiousity/humility that feeds it.
So I’m ready and willing to begin offering instruction, and looking forward to increasing confidence.-
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Rosie, I resonate a lot with your comparison, i have similar feelings to when i first took on a leadership role and started coaching others in their own growth and development. it took time, commitment, humility and trust in the process to grow confidence over time. and most of all, it helps to remember that teaching/coaching anything is not a one way process – transmission depends on the openness and trust of the receiver. thanks for your pointers.
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Hi Rosie, I enjoyed reading how you looked forward to the confidence ten years in your therapy practice might bring! I have been in my role for three years and I am grateful every day for each experience that brought me to this point. I have so much appreciation for the growth that comes with time and being able to offer the benefits to others in many small ways each day.
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I do feel prepared to offer instruction to another person if asked. The weekly practice sessions have helped me feel comfortable giving the instructions, and Susan’s advice and experiences have helped me feel more at ease with the idea of sharing this with other folks. I have been receiving the instructions for so many years that it kind of feels like an extension of all those times when I share them with another. I find myself speaking from a place that feels beyond my own words, and I guess that is part of the transmission piece. It feels good to be able to pass that on.
The one thing that may be missing is my understanding of how teaching meditation will be implemented in my life, though I do feel this will come with time. I have been trying to let go of the idea of any certain outcome to this course, and just be in the moment and enjoy the weekly assignments and classes. Without any goal in mind, I can allow what is meant to be to unfold. I have only just begun to accept this idea. It takes some of the pressure off of having to know how I will use this training.
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Elizabeth, I can so relate to your second paragraph! Even though I have had ideas/visions of how I might teach and in what context, I really tried to push that aside for this course and just focus on being in the moment, as you wrote. Letting go of the maybes and staying in the present, letting the course be a standalone for now. I gave myself permission to put any planning aside and just see how the course goes. Once it’s done, then I can start to contemplate what may be next (if anything). Thank you for sharing your perspective and reminding me of this intention for myself.
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Elizabeth – thanks so much for naming the tension of goals & outcomes. I have always been extremely goal oriented and find that visualizing tangible outcomes motivates and drives me. I am finding myself loosening my grip on this through the experience of this training. And i feel letting go of that itself is a practice for life … it will take me a long time to come to terms with it and make it my default setting!
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The short answer to this week’s question is that I do feel prepared to offer one-on-one instruction to another person. I feel like I have a good understanding of the meditation technique and I feel comfortable offering guidance. The practice sessions during our weekly teachings have been very helpful. I’ve also picked up a lot of tips and tools from both the formal teaching with Susan as well as what others in the course have shared.
Where I feel some reticence is when I imagine questions that might be asked following a meditation session that might be beyond my expertise. For example, if someone asks more detailed questions about meditation practice within the context of Buddhism or about Buddhism in general, I feel a bit of worry about how best to respond. While I have some knowledge of Buddhism and Buddhist practices, I certainly am not qualified to offer any kind of teaching. I think my response would likely be to direct the person to qualified teachers, books, and other appropriate resources. I’ll want to be a bit more prepared to respond to these types of questions.
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Hi Erin — you raise such a good point in your second paragraph, and I agree with your planned approach to people’s questions about Buddhism. For me, Susan’s approach is so helpful — she’s incredibly knowledgeable and experienced and shares that, while also conveying the immensity and bottomlessness of the Dharma that we are exploring. It gives me a feeling of comfort, in a way, that we are capable of sharing what we understand, while being held by the teachings that have persisted over millenia, and if we can support others in connecting to that tradition, then we have really been of service. Thank you!
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Erin, I share your reticence around more in-depth questions around the dharma. I like the idea of directing people to other teachers and communities. That gives me the idea to put together a few good ones to have in the back of my mind. Susan’s book Start Here Now (I think that’s the title) is a good one for beginner meditators. It will be a bit of a challenge to ‘forget’ what I’ve read and learned about Buddhism and get into what the person asking needs. But that’s one of the roles of the meditation teacher, so with practice I hope I’ll get better at that.
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I do feel prepared to begin offering one-on-one meditation instruction and also to continuously learn for and from my students. I am forever a student too, though when I am in the role of guide or facilitator or teacher, I am responsible for maintaining the appropriate orientation and boundaries of that role. I’m grateful for everything we’ve been discussing over the past few training sessions about orientation and boundaries. For the past dozen years I’ve worked one-on-one as a coach and teacher and guide, and with groups as a facilitator, and this course has helped me make sense of and see through-lines in my experience across time.
Regarding meditation instruction specifically, it has been lovely to listen to many of Susan’s daily meditations and hear the variation across sessions. Sometimes her language is very straightforward and to the point, other times it contains more imagery. Sometimes there is a little more psychological distance and other times more playfulness and (inter)personality. However, competence, respect, and warmth always come through, and that’s an appealing and effective combination. As I contemplate working with people as a meditation teacher and guide, I can imagine how my instruction will vary and evolve with my students, depending on them — their situation and condition, their style and type, their experience — and on our relationship working together over time. And of course, this is in parallel to what has taken place and continues to take place, as I work with people in my various roles.
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Hi Nikki,
I really appreciate your discernment in noting that you are forever a student, but when in the role of facilitator or teacher, it’s important to maintain that orientation with all the boundaries that go with it. I can relate to feeling like a “forever student.” Your essay was a good reminder that I need to be aware of the role I’m occupying and behave accordingly.
Thank you!
Erin
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Yes, I do. Despite a critique during my one on one that included multiple corrections, I now feel like I have a very basic script that I can use that doesn’t have any flowery language and no buddhist concepts mixed in. The study guide has good answers to basic questions. And I learn along the way with my students and will try my best to adjust accordingly. I’m very comfortable saying, “I have no idea” when asked something I don’t know. The discussions around preparing the environment and keeping psychological boundaries have been helpful.
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Over the last few weeks my confidence and comfort offering instruction have increased. I think back of Susan’s words “how can you do it right, how can you do it wrong?”, just like the dharma, it feels expansive… I think I feel permission to just do it my way and not feel the constraints of a narrow definition. Not narrow, but still precise. How much freedom there is in that! I hope I’m making sense – but yes, I do feel ready and eager to offer instruction to others. And to hone my style, to change and evolve as I learn and practice over the years. I’m excited for the topics we’ll be covering the next two classes – bringing our practice outwards. I’m also looking forward to staying connected with this amazing cohort of aspiring instructors, in whatever capacity we bring these teachings to life.
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Even though I don’t intend to offer 1:1 instruction (if I do teach, I plan to do so in a group setting), I do feel prepared if I did want to offer this. In my mind right now, I think I would only consider offering 1:1 instruction if someone from the group I was already teaching approached me and asked for this option, and then I would only say yes if it felt right to me at the time. I think I feel prepared because when I think about teaching, I feel at ease in my body. It’s hard to describe, but it is really mostly a feeling for me. A sense of peace, a wave of comfort washing over me. It just feels right, and I take that to mean I feel prepared. In addition to this feeling I have in my body, I have felt extra reassured from partners in class as well as Susan, which has helped solidify my feeling of preparedness. I feel confident in the instruction, and at ease at the same time, in that I’m really just also sitting there doing the meditation and instructing myself. So even though I may be teaching, I’m also a student at the same time, if that makes sense.
If anything makes me feel unprepared, it is really just all the “unknowns”, but this is a feeling I’m well aware of now in my life, and I’m used to working with it. Meaning, it’s almost second nature now to have doubts/feel squirrely about the unknown, and to just tell myself that these feelings are normal and they don’t mean I have to shy away from something, especially if that something is really important to me. I can have the confidence in myself to know I won’t be perfect and yet have the trust in myself that I can handle any situation as it arises. My heart warmed this week in class when Lauren was sharing her vulnerable feelings at the end about not feeling ready, and Susan shared that she almost always feels that way when she’s about to do something really important to her. I can 100% relate to this. Despite all the doubts/thoughts that may arise, I feel ready and called to introduce others to the instruction.-
Hi Liana, I really appreciate your comment about having doubts and feeling squirrely about the unknown. I feel that every time I’m about to do something outside my comfort zone and sometimes the feeling is strong enough to keep me from going through with things. The nice thing for me about this practice is the confidence I have in my teachers and my lineage and the trust that if they think I’m ready, then they’re probably right.
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In that our training has been thorough and robust, and I’ve been meditating for upwards of a decade now, I do feel prepared to offer instruction. At the very same time, I am increasingly aware of my own very limited abilities and need to grow in wisdom! I take comfort in two things: the technique is straightforward, and this is not about me. As long as I can impart the technique accurately to my student(s), my own insecurities and inadequacies can take a back seat.
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Hi Toni,
I love the idea of my insecurities and inadequacies taking a back seat! Even while acknowledging our limited abilities, we can rely on what we’ve learned about providing instruction and staying true to that. Very well said!
Erin
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Yes, I do feel ready. I believe I have the instructions down, and I just need to get more comfortable saying it out loud (with repetition) which I have started to do in my own practice. The funny thing is I had no intention to teach even when I signed up for this course, but now I kind of feel like I’d like to…. So I need to see what happens with that. Of course, as others have said, I am also nervous about answering a question incorrectly or not knowing an answer, but I trust the process and that it will all work out if we are rooted ourselves and only want what is best for our students.
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I do feel ready. I’ve been teaching inmates in a group setting at my local jail for a year now, and I have always incorporated the practice in yoga classes that I teach too. One-on-one teaching will be newer for me, but it doesn’t scare me too much. If asked a question I will readily admit what I don’t know (which is a lot) but if I can I will pass along what I have been taught if the setting is appropriate. If I get any kind of question I might also ask the student, “What do you think?”
I will make mistakes if I’m not mindful, but I hope not to repeat mistakes. Like anything else, I expect it will become easier with repetition and continuous learning by me. I’m convinced of the value and importance of the practice, and I plan to bring that sense to any class I end up teaching.
I’m planning to ask the owner of the yoga studio I attend whether she’s interested in adding a meditation class to the schedule. Hopefully she will give me the opportunity to teach it often.
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Hi Mike — I hope it works out for you to teach meditation classes at your yoga studio, and really appreciate your self-knowledge and intention — “I will make mistakes if I’m not mindful, but I hope not to repeat mistakes.” Applies everywhere in life, doesn’t it? : ) I expect you will find one-on-one teaching/guidance really fulfilling too — it is a gift to focus on and deeply listen to just one other at a time, and to be able to explore the “what do you think?” with them. Thanks!
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This question is simple, but not easy. At a fundamental level, yes, I feel prepared to offer instruction. Every week I grow more comfortable with guiding a student through the practice. In thinking about this, right intention and right speech came forward in my mind. I am clear in my intention for offering instruction, which is to be of benefit–to share the beauty and alchemy of this profound practice with other seekers. With regard to right speech, I think that our meditation instructor training has helped open my awareness to how much more I have to learn and how much work I have to do to be a better listener. I trust that my awareness of my limitations will help me stay within the bounds of what I can confidently offer to a student. I can offer the foundational instruction on how to meditate, and respond to the FAQ that we have spent time reviewing and discussing. I am also aware of my own novice status in the grand scheme of things, and I am totally comfortable saying, “that’s a great question, and one that is beyond my ability to answer.”
I am so grateful for having encountered this practice and having the opportunity share it with others. I am at the beginning of what I believe will be a lifetime (many lifetime?) journey of exploring the dharma, and I do feel prepared to help someone else dip their toe in these waters. I am confident that I understand my limitations and trust myself to honor them and to offer what I am able, for the right reasons. I also know, from teaching in other capacities, that teaching will teach me.
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I think I am mostly prepared. I understand the practice and have a general order and wording. I have to make sure to fine-tune some of the words and then will need to put in a lot of time and repetition. I would say that practice is what is most lacking for me. I hope that the more I do it, the more I will be able to give instructions in a way that sounds more natural rather than rehearsed or scripted.
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Sure do. I don’t intend (for some time anyway) to lead any big groups, just solo one on one sessions. I intend to add this approach to meditation to a larger toolkit I have collated over time. I know I need some practice, as with so many things, I can always be better. As per feedback from Susan, I can inject more ‘form’ or ‘order’ into my instruction. Got it.
Insomuch as what’s “missing” I would say making the delivery my own. Again, I don’t feel like this is a problem per se, and it’s something that is in perpetual development. I would also cater to the individual in front of me, as necessary.
I do believe continuing to learn from others, in our own group as well as outside of it, is going to continue for me. -
I do feel that taking this course has provided me with the skills and knowledge to be able to teach mediation 1 to 1. Yet I think that I would like more time under my belt being consistent with my own practice. This technique that we are learning is new to me, so I want more experience with it before I start to teach it. Additionally I need the space in my life to do the teaching. Right now I’m pretty busy, so it’s not something I can add in. However, in time I do see being able to provide some 1 to 1 instruction with my therapy clients in the future. I appreciate all that I have learned in this course!
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I have two distinct experiences to relate from the OHP meditation teacher training program, while practicing giving instruction with fellow participants. In one instance, I was very distracted by my own overwhelming thoughts and feelings that I carried into the session. I was so distraught that I thought of begging out of having to instruct and explain my state of mind. However, I remembered Susan’s teachings about simplicity being key while instructing, and that gave me courage and I went ahead with offering the simplest instruction for mindfulness of body, breath and mind. Getting through the 10min session was hard for me, but every time I felt the waves of emotions crashing on me, I repeated the instruction and felt steady. An image, of a small boat held by an anchor, rose to mind. I realized that is the power of simplicity of instruction and the teachings transmitted through our lineage. I was able to pull through the 10min session and I myself felt more settled afterwards. I will reflect back to this experience in future if/when I feel challenged or apprehensive about teaching in future.
The other experience of note is when my fellow participant, who I was giving instructions to, was experiencing some physical distress during the session. I found myself conflicted about whether to stop the session so they can take care of themselves or ignore the obvious distress and stick to my practiced lines – I found myself distressing over what is the “right thing to do” in this situation. I wanted to “do the meditation right” and I also wanted to “help my fellow participant”. The latter instinct won, and I found myself gently cueing to accept whatever is happening and attend to the body while maintaining and guiding the attention back to the breath – its all part of meditation. Something shifted – I felt a deep connection with the student and the process and the space between us felt sacred. I do not recall the exact words of my instruction after this – it somehow happened on its own. As if the teaching was flowing through me and I was just there to hold the space. It was a profound experience, and I feel humbled by it. I do not know what caused this or whether this experience will repeat itself – but I do know now that in order to teach meditation, I need to get out of my own way – set aside the self-doubt, the striving to get it right and to intellectualize and problem solve in the middle of a session.
I joined the meditation teacher training to deepen my own practice as it has been a refuge through a lot of turmoil in my life currently. I did not intend to teach. I thought, who am I to be a meditation teacher – I can hardly hold my own mind together. Through this experience though, I have started thinking, who am I to NOT be a meditation teacher. I am but a link in a long lineage to have the privilege to transmit the teachings for the benefit of others. So if the opportunity arises, whether I feel ready or not, I am committed to show up with sincerity and put my trust in the teachings and the lineage.
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Hello Ankur, Thank you for reminding me of your boat analogy, which I loved when you described it a session or two ago.
And thank you for working through (afterwards and now in writing) what happened last week in the breakout room. I think we were all rooting for both of you and I know that I am grateful for you exploring this “critical incident” that we might all face, as you did together in plenary. -
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This week, I feel ready to teach meditation 1-1. On Saturday, though, we witnessed the distress of one of our sangha members who didn’t feel in the same place. As Elizabeth W pointed out, both these feelings shall pass.
These shifting attitudes to personal competence or aptitude reminded me of a metaphor. Here’s a story, or you can scroll down two paragraphs for the message!
At some point on the long residential English courses I used to teach on, a business person who had been using English in international business for years would often say “I don’t know what to do. I just can’t speak English any more”. They had reached the so-called “crisis day”. Their confidence just fell apart.
What we trainers used to employ was the analogy of a ski course. We’d tell the story of a generic student, Matthias, who is a perfectly good skier. He’s probably been skiing all his life. And then he meets a potential romantic partner – who happens to ski very well. Matthias wants to take them away on a winter weekend, but realizes he needs to brush up on his skiing skills to impress them, so signs up for a course with personal ski instructor Bernhard. After a couple of runs, Bernhard says he notices that Matthias does this odd thing with his sticks, then he asks him to try putting more/less weight on one ski, then gets him to practise some other micro move to correct some other issues … Matthias starts to panic, then to despair…
The point is that we have probably all been practised and “fluent” in some skill for a long time. But if we start unpacking the moving parts to investigate each separately, with feedback, then the analysis might feel very unsettling … “I didn’t know I did that!”, “Why did I ever think I could ..?”.
Once the business students start conversing in English again, or Matthias gets back on the slopes, or if we take our meditation teacher training to the cushion every day, the fluency begins to return, but with a stronger foundation. These are results that come from looking purposefully at the internal workings and incorporating tweaks or updates or insights into our practice. We begin to notice the micro moves more not because we are bad or suddenly worse at what we do, but because we have woken up, studied them and are are starting to see things from a deeper place.
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At Week 9, I am noticing that learning how to teach this practice has made me take a look at the space I am and have been willing to take up as a teacher and facilitator, which feels connected to my readiness. I have worked very consciously to acknowledge the space I take up in a room–not just as a super tall person!–but this class has helped me see that I may have overshot the mark of that. When I receive instruction during class, I am inspired by the confidence of the teacher. If she believes it, I believe that. That has been true for me across many different learning settings. Recently, I reluctantly went to a puppet making workshop with my partner and I was so moved by the instructor’s authenticity I was asking about prolonged study options…but I haven’t thought much about ways I can reflect my confidence in the subject matter I am teaching/facilitating. The connection to something greater, the invoking of lineage, the community of inquiry and practice has invited me to develop confidence, which I know is something that builds more AFTER we try the thing we’re scared of! This may have been a long way of saying “let’s do this.”
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The short answer to this question is yes. The long answer is that I don’t have any plans to give 1 on 1 instruction or serve as an MI at the moment. I have led meditation in a number of group contexts and I plan on continuing that work. Being an MI for just one other person actually sounds pretty intense, but I trust my training and trust the practice, so I think I would adjust and adapt to that setting once I started. One of my favorite things is noticing how speedy and/or scattered we can be before practicing meditation and then observing how settled we are afterwards. I am totally drawn to this phenomena – it keeps me coming back to this practice and to my sanghas.
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This question is a key question for me as a participant to this course. I’ve read the essays of some of my fellow participants and many resonate. And to start with the answer to the question; I do feel confident enough to offer the instruction to another person 1 on 1.
The breakouts and the 1 on 1 with Susan have really given met both a mirror to see my own doing and a ground with traction to move upon. This helped me to see where more precision was needed (a bit too loose) and where too much precision was adhered to (a bit too tight) and how to move towards a more useful balance. Finding the middle way, so to speak. I’ve also learned that this is a moving practice, sort of like a dance when one is in a 1 on 1 situation.
To me, I now feel the technique is becoming familiar within my being. The meditation practice and increasing the meditation time during the duration of the course helped me familiarize, become one with and gain confidence with different aspects of the practice. This helps in addressing question I had and students may have also when starting and maintaining a meditation practice. I’ve grown to trust in the wisdom of both the simplicity of the technique and the experience of applying this in daily life. The magic has grown on me and enveloped my own meditation practice, with thanks to the instructions, the context and the practice together in our little course sangha. This I now understand as part of the magic of the container.
At the moment I feel confident enough to invoke this container of technique within a 1 on 1 context to guide myself as teacher and the other as student into a meditation session. I’ve learned to take responsibility as teacher and to not confuse the roles, not being too distant and also not too close, caring for but not taking care of, to honor all who have brought this technique to life, our teachers, so it can be shared with me and through me and apply all of this with integrity and the buddha at heart (bodhichitta?). And let’s not forget, playfulness within seriousness (authentic humor) and with an uplifted and uplifting attitude 😉 All of this, with an approach which is not too tight, not too loose. Pfew… when integrated into oneself, this flows, comes naturally and feels this way in a 1 on 1.
As may be noticed by my text… I have a tendency to be (over?) analytical. From the course up to now I’ve learned also to not enter into analysis of the meditation session with the student. Allow the session and what it brings to reveal itself to the student and be open to answer questions, maybe more in a way of offering safe space (container) for reflection and guidance instead of (definitive) answers.
I’m very thankful for Susan and everybody in the course for supporting our and my journey and development on this path.
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When we began giving 1:1 instruction to each other, I was delighted to find that I felt grounded and that I felt a sense of spaciousness. I did some stumbling around the words; sometimes feeling too wordy, sometimes aware that I was using other’s words, yet to my surprise, I did not feel too fussed. I trusted, that, with practice, I would find the pace that would be useful and that I would develop words that I could offer that came from a genuine place. I knew I had a lot to learn and would continue to learn, but I really felt like I was in process with “my student” from the start and that felt exciting and affirming. When I had the meeting with Susan, her feedback was useful and kindly given; she told me to slow down the instruction because it didn’t leave her time enough to follow, and later she asked me if I was doing the practice while I was offering instruction. What I heard was “you are not present in the experience nor are you facilitating a space so your student can be” and I found myself re-encountering my tendency to forget, to doubt and assail myself with aggressions. I recognized the spiral and felt some frustration and despair over being back in “that place” but let myself stay with the feelings. Giving instruction in class 9, I was more self-conscious than I was at the start, and while able to settle a bit with my partner, I still felt uncomfortable with my process. I’ve given this a lot of thought. Listening to the replay of the class, I was able to really hear and begin to integrate some of what we’d discussed, I was able to trade judgement for curiosity and regain some humor and perspective. I needed the reminding that the importance of this journey and the vulnerability of the role will bring up all kinds of baggage. And that going into deeper territories usually ushers me through a passage of “I don’t know anything.” In this round, I noticed a greater ability to be with my discomfort, and, as I did, a greater ability to be with my non-discomfort and hold both at the same time. I find I’m feeling a deeper awareness and tender connection to this process and what it can become for both teacher and student and I do feel prepared to begin to offer 1:1 instruction.
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I feel prepared enough to be a beginner teacher/instructor. The one on one meeting with our teacher, Susan, provided feedback that helped increase the logical flow and the impact of my language use of my instruction. This feedback was exactly what I needed to build on my understanding of the instruction. I am also aware that giving this simple instruction over and over again will build my confidence over time. Equally important to me is the opportunity giving the instruction provides for deepening my own practice of Buddhism. We are “rousing the aspiration to be of benefit” not just for students but for ourselves.
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Yes.
What’s missing is deep thought, or probing investigation into why it’s just so quickly “yes“. You all go much deeper than I do. I admire that. I guess my “yes“ comes from years of pathway preparation. Where this will unfold and or blossom in my life will be fascinating to witness.
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MaryBeth, I think there is as much worth in your simple “yes” as a response filled with reflections or justifications. I believe in you and I believe we can trust ourselves. In this practice and tradition of a sense that through experience, we cultivate the ability to make compassionate decisions simply and without overthinking. They are the right decisions because they come from us, and we are inherently good, and each contain buddhanature. Cheers to where this will unfold and blossom in your life!
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I feel that I’m *mostly* prepared to give individual instruction. Each week in class it feels a bit more comfortable, but then something new comes up to rattle my confidence. But I know that only by doing it over and over will that ever change.
I wonder if I should wait until I’m a better teacher/Buddhist/human to step in, but that day won’t come without experience. A few more practical worries linger in the back of my mind–what if I can’t answer questions? What if I come across too strong? Why should anyone listen to me? But even just typing those out, they sound overly panicky. All I can do is have the right intention and prepare as best I can.-
Mary, I agree with your conclusion. You are already a good human, so there’s no worries. And you can wait if that feels right, but also we will always have room to grow, so that’s no reason to not start. The same goes with knowing the answers–there will always be answers we don’t know. In some way your sense of reflection in this matter is encouraging to us all because it shows your care to the practice. Good luck!
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Yes. I have found that I do feel prepared to offer 1:1 instruction. Before this class, it wasn’t really something in my field of experience. But throughout I have discovered and/or realized a simple sense of confidence. I am confident in the technique. I am confident that I can teach it based on my experience, and the thought that I can’t see any reason why I wouldn’t be able to teach it. Not that I have any grandiose ambition or pretend to any great wisdom, but simply that I feel confident in the technique and my ability, now, to teach others. If any wisdom comes to me or others in some way as a result or process, then that is a blessing. I understand my youth, but I also already have a sense that we cannot predict or judge competence or wisdom or truths or anything based on someone’s age, so there is no reason to discount myself here.
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If I were to give 1:1 instruction, being prepared would require me to stay open, flexible, and receptive. I’m not planning on giving instruction at this time, but if I were, I’d say I feel ready to give the basic instructions. I would also be open to how things may unfold from there. The practice sessions throughout this training have been very helpful, a safe container for me to explore both giving and receiving instruction. The workbook questions give additional shape to this teaching container, informing my intentions in guiding a practice, and how I can respond to questions that may arise.
Part of being prepared is following the practice guidelines while also inhabiting a space of active learning and responding. This means I need to be invested in my own practice as well, where much learning and exploration take place. -
Through taking inventory of what I have to offer a student seeking support with their meditation practice, I have determined that I feel prepared to offer one on one instruction. I hope to offer examples of how I have worked with challenges in my own practice, as well as methods I have seen others use to navigate questions in ways that have led to increased awareness and understanding. I would like to listen with curiosity, perhaps suggesting readings that provide opportunities for students to achieve a different perspective. Most importantly, I would like to encourage students to trust their own knowing and avoid fighting against themselves in order to attain someone else’s version of what a meditation practice is supposed to look like. I will encourage gentleness and kindness toward body, breath, and mind. I hope to be someone they trust and feel comfortable with when sharing vulnerable topics. I hope to create an atmosphere of mutual respect with humor, whenever appropriate.
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I do feel prepared to teach meditation – while I have been offering meditation instruction in my coaching work with caregivers, cancer survivors, teams and executives for years, I am always practicing/learning/teaching. While I may gain some mastery, the first step in knowing, is to recognize my own not knowing. So, I feel with this training and technique, I am more prepared with new tools, practices and techniques, to offer meditation instruction. Nothing is missing, and there is always more to learn in each experience.
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At this moment, not really. Which is a little strange because offering meditation instruction during this class feels reasonably good. I feel comfortable with the basic instructions, the mindfulness of body, breath, and thoughts. But somehow offering it outside of class feels intimidating. I think there’s safety and structure that the class provides, that doesn’t exist out in the ‘real world’. I worry that my personal practice isn’t strong/consistent enough, and I’m sort of faking all of it. My anxiety here feels a little fragile, and possibly overly self-centric. An idea from earlier in the course, that I’m just here to help someone discover a practice, feels simpler, less fraught.
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Like most people in the forum have said already, i do feel ready to give 1-1 instruction to someone, but know I am new to this, so still lots to learn. What is missing is the confidence that can only grow from doing something many-many-many times over. Also missing would be the feedback from the student, either verbal or just by looking at them. I think if I were to give guidance to someone I would be able to detect if they liked it or not, and what was missing to take it into account the next session.
I honestly think the best part to get us comfortable is the fact that you (Susan) “forced” us to give instruction every session to someone else. This proved invaluable to me, as practice makes perfect (or at least not too bad!). Thanks! -
I’m more ready now than I thought was possible as I didn’t sign up for our class to become a meditation teacher. My goal was to deepen my practice and learn more about our form of meditation. I was relieved on our first day that “we are not here to teach anyone anything, but to help to discover something.” I’ve discovered a deeper appreciation for lineage, technique, form, container, etc.
I am still not certain how what I have learned here will develop once we complete class. I am certain that I will continue to discover and perhaps I will be permitted to share the technique with others who wish to experience this “practice of wakefulness”. More shall be revealed, this is something of which I am certain. I am delighted with what I have learned thus far; the exciting and the uncomfortable. Thank you. -
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Question: Do you feel prepared to offer 1:1 instruction? If not, what do you think is missing?
The answer is yes…”and”…I’m still in process. The seeming-missing part is practicing: 1) the items on the Checklist, and 2) responding to FAQs.
I do feel prepared to give 1:1 instruction. Practicing in class, and aloud and silently to myself when sitting alone has been a fruitful experience, and it’s always a new beginning, a new experience.
I am now, discovering and practicing my responses to the FAQs.
I will begin practicing, to the best of my ability and with self-kindness & gentleness, the Checklist points as if I were giving instruction 1:1 (or small group). Beginning with consciously preparing my heart and mind ahead, to the best of my ability to be a loving-kind, compassionate presence and container for the experience of the instruction to unfold, as well as preparing the physical the space (be it online or in person); and the other checklist items.
Practicing coordination of the points on the Checklist, and the FAQs will allow me become more familiar with, iron-out any wrinkles…(i.e. remembering to start the timer/ Insight Timer bell…) and let it become integrated as naturally as possible, while making shifts, and learning from mistakes and awkward places, which in themselves provide another context for practice.
Of course, it doesn’t mean that it will go flawlessly, whatever that means. That’s one of spiritual parts for me, the spiritual journey… that things have a way of working out (even if it might not look like it at first). My experience has been that Grace provides; and I will be listening, heeding, adjusting…and practicing.
I am grateful for this journey. ❤️
All of this being said, I’ve never taught meditation to someone I didn’t know, let alone someone (or a group) I’m meeting for the first time. This returns me to the spiritual principle (for me) of trust.. and that the reason I’m called to do this now, is for a reason beyond my human reasoning, or description, and to trust that. Trust is my Container.
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I’ve had my doubts about whether I was ready to offer meditation instruction. I expected that this training was going to involve learning exact steps and detailed dharma. I think that might have been easier for me to learn (and totally in my comfort zone).
The role of MI is complex and nuanced in a way I didn’t expect. But the focus on simplicity and the precision of the technique, and the importance of a clear container have helped me feel more grounded in the role. At the same time, the view shows how to hold ourselves and others in such a spacious and gentle way, I find myself willing to cautiously step into the open-heartedness of it all.
Reflecting on what I’ve learned, I do feel prepared and ready to offer 1×1 instruction, with mindful preparation of course, including meditating before-hand. Maybe even a small group after some practice with 1x1s.
The sacredness of stepping into the lineage of countless teachers and practitioners, doing my best to transmit their teachings, will always keep me feeling a bit vulnerable, which seems right.
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When I did my sit with Susan I had a deep sense of calmness. I felt ready to lead someone who, at times, intimidates me. Not due to her demeanor, just due to how much I respect and value the teachings of her heart. To me, that was the ultimate test to see if I would feel ready to teach 1:1.
I have grown more into acceptance that it does not need to be “perfect” to be valuable. That I do have an inner knowing that I can tap into. That I can be comfortable in the silence.
I may not have been a vocal participant during our classes, but I got so much value out of being present during the vulnerability of others. Which is hard for me. But I did it, and it helped me be open and able to listen to the vulnerability in potential students.
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