Compassion fatigue and being loving while also angry: it’s possible.
October 14, 2024 | 14 CommentsMeditation begins at 14:59
Audio only version is here
I hope you are well and safe. If you are in a region impacted by recent hurricanes, my heart goes out to you and I hold you in my practice. I know that doesn’t change or fix things, but it’s true nonetheless.
This morning I got an email from one of you asking for some thoughts on compassion fatigue. First thought? It’s real. There is so much strife and sorrow and so many people, it seems, who hold tight to beliefs and wishes that we know are ridiculous at best and dangerous at worst. How to keep caring when all of this is true? How to avoid cutting people out of our hearts while also remaining true to ourselves? What is self-care in a time of rage? We are all exhausted right now–now what?
These are among the most important questions you can ask right now. In this video, I offer some thoughts (including a story about my own ridiculous behavior) that I hope will help you.
TL;DR: the antidote to compassion fatigue is sangha. Community. You. Me. Us. I’m offering a free month in the Open Heart Project sangha, beginning right now and lasting through election season. There are many opportunities to practice, discuss, and just hold space together. This is the best way I know of to stay sane, balanced, honest, and energized–without cutting others out of our hearts completely. All the details are here. If you run into any problems registering, just email us.
With love and faith in the three jewels,
Susan
categorized in: compassion, meditation, open heart project, relationships
14 Comments
Thank you for this; both your ( all too identifiable personal story) and Tara’s response to your compassion fatigue question are supremely helpful.
Please never doubt your positive impact❤️
Thank you, Lisa–and so glad this was useful. With love, S
Perfect reflection for me as on my way home to practice I was jackknifed in my recently upgraded van. Boo. I had a similar experience – immediate cursing and then softening when the driver emerged with worry.
Thank goodness for this practice. Thank you.
Yes, thank goodness! Hope you are okay!! Sending much love, Susan
Re: Compassion fatigue
Hi Susan,
Welcome, timely advice, and very relevant to my experience. I do my best to support my 94-year-old mom who lives in the next town over, but she can be demanding and difficult to be around quite often. So thank you.
Just one thing, I found “effing” really distracting, especially when repeated. To me, your message stands just fine on its own and doesn’t need that particular emphasis.
Hope you are well!
Peace,
Steve Hunt
So glad this was timely and relevant. Wishing you well! Susan
PS Thank goodness for distractions–they give us something to work with.
Early in my life, ideas helped me to focus. I can see that a person can get attached to supposition.
<3 S
As always, perfect timing, and a much-needed reminder about the strength of Sangha. Specifically, I recently experienced towering rage (with yelling, gesticulation, etc.) with my husband who seemingly is defying me by buying insane amounts of groceries that I then have to deal with, and that we do not need. At one level I know that he has cognitive gaps, and that he is stimulated by being in a store and bringing home bargains. I also know that we have discussed this behavior ad nauseum and that each time he apologizes and swears to be more circumspect. Then I face the absurdly First World situation of a small refrigerator stuffed with marked down bounty that I need to use pronto, and usually things that I would not buy. I feel angry that I (once again) have to deal with all this, frustrated that “here we go again,” and much put upon. I watch my face and throat clench, my vision constrict, my voice sharpen, and words that I don’t normally use spring to my lips. I feel so ashamed. And, then, Sangha. Specifically, my Circle, folks who have known each other for 4+ years. I do feel compassion for my husband, much harder for myself, but they help me soften.
Sue Ellen, I am endlessly glad we practice together. Much love, S
Thanks for sharing. I’ve started to assume that something must be wrong for the person to be driving like that so I say: May you be happy, may you be healthy and may you be safe. It’s feels much better than what I used to do. This is a simplified version of loving-kindness meditation I think.
Loving kindness is always a great thing to turn to! <3 S
Susan, I’ve been meditating with you for some 12 years, since you first taught me how to. I’m not always able to listen and follow, but I always return (like the awareness of breath) and I notice how constant and true you are to yourself, to your fellow practitioners and to the message of goodness and integrity.
With gratitude, deep respect and immense fondness from across the many miles.
So happy our paths remain connected, Jane. Your kind words are so appreciated. Sending much love, Susan