Balancing Kindness and Self-Protection with Difficult People
January 12, 2026 | 9 CommentsAudio only version is here
Meditation begins at 8:40
Dear, wonderful Open Heart Project,
I received a thoughtful question about how to offer loving-kindness to people who feel toxic, while still honoring and protecting our own boundaries. Before today’s sit, I wanted to share a few reflections with you.
If you have a question you’d like me to explore in a future video, please feel free to send it along. I’ll always keep your name and any identifying details private.
With love,
Susan
categorized in: dharma, open heart project
9 Comments
Thank you Susan for this meditation. I am going to add the loving kindness meditation to my daily routine.
Thank you Incredibly much for these clues to not alienating myself when I am noticing things I disagree with.
It has SO helped me learn how to approach a past disappointment that violated my values, and also addresses my current concern for the country and planet. This helps so much!
wonderful response today!! It helps me be OK with seeing that not responding to someone may be better than being NICE
Great response and helpful framework for a very common question!
I am wondering if there is some nuance to offering loving kindness that includes the intention to do so. There are times when it feels like turning a battleship to get to the gentle state of metta practice, but when it is also possible to see that this is the direction I’m going. Maybe right now I am too agitated, or perhaps in an environment that makes it more difficult, but I know that this will pass. When I intend to engage in active loving kindness practice, following through on the intention at a more steady time, it seems to be that is being halfway there.
Thank you for this reply, it’s very helpful. I also tried to listen to hear how this might work when I’ve been the one to unintentionally and unskillfully misunderstood and hurt someone else. It’s seems all I can do outwardly is nothing. Inwardly, be gentle towards my self and work with what’s happening.
This is really helpful. Thank you so much. I’m relieved and delighted at not have to strong arm myself into trying to muster up kindliness to people when I’m really not feeling the love! If I start with myself and can extend it outwards from there to all beings, that will go a long way already. And maybe that’s enough.
Wow – this was great clarification: start with loving kindness toward myself and others who are feeling what I’m feeling! That helps.
Great wisdom regarding this timely topic for me. I am grateful for your work in making the country and world a better place.