A Viewpoint on Heartbreak
November 6, 2007 | 1 CommentI was talking to my friend Michael Carroll today. We started discussing the nature of heartbreak. Here’s what he said. Check this riff:
The defining aspect of our nature is vulnerability. Vulnerability is the precondition for compassion. The foundation of vulnerability is uncertainty. The seed of the open mind is tenderness…this is what allows us to fall in love, cherish our children, and so on. But when we feel our tenderness, we panic at its very nature. The hypocrisy of pretending that we’re not vulnerable means we have to be checking our situation constantly to make sure it hasn’t fallen apart. This checking is the basis/trap of anxiety. The truth is we’re not okay. We’re wounded. It hurts. It takes bravery to be that open. Leaning into that not-okayness fully is the enlightened state. The ability to open to that which wounds us is the path. This is how non-duality is experienced.
It’s good to have a friend who says things like this.
categorized in: dharma, relationships
1 Comment
Hi Susan,
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. I’ve been working on not hiding or covering up the pain, not being ashamed that life isn’t “perfect” – and just being me!
I also think that sharing our vulnerabilities and fears with others is incredibly powerful, since I’m finding that as I find the courage to talk about it, so many others can relate!
And it’s such a relief to realize that you’re not the only one – even when it’s just some silly little thing! I actually wrote about this at http://www.iwasthinking.ca/2007/10/23/thank-goodness-im-not-the-only-one
Thank you for sharing the way that you do on this blog and in your book! I come here often to see what you’ve been writing and you always make me think and feel. You inspire me!
Take care,
Heidi