This suggestion is taken on something called “The Work” by Byron Katie. (http://www.amazon.com/Loving-What-Four-Questions-Change/dp/1400045371/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-7611492-4283859?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188142697&sr=1-1.)

It involves working with painful thoughts one by one and asking yourself 4 questions, ending with what she calls “the turn around.” Here’s an example:

Say you think “my heartache will never end.”

1. Is that true?

Perhaps you’re think, why yes, it certainly feels that way. It might be true.

2. Can you absolutely, positively be sure that it’s true?

Can you? Ask yourself this as honestly as you can.

3. When I think this thought, how do I feel?

Some responses could be: despairing, exhausted, panicky.

4. Who would I be without this thought?

This questions asks you to take a moment to imagine who you would be right now, if you didn’t have to do battle with this thought. Some answers could be: relaxed, focused, playful.

The final step, the turnaround, involves coming up with a few opposites to this statement and asking yourself if there is anyway these statements could be just as true as “my heartache will never end.” Some examples: My heartache will end. My heartache never began. My heartache already ended. Etc. You can be very creative with this, just so long as it’s the opposite.

The Work is a wonderful way to create that most precious commodity in the mind of the heartbroken: space. It creates space around thought and this is the first step in the healing process. It’s also a killer way to stop talking to yourself. It kind of truncates the whole process.