Only non-aggression defeats aggression

Hello, excellent Open Heart Project practitioners.

I’m reflecting on a time I posted this message to social media: “What if we never chose sides? What if we chose to care about each other?”

I knew as I was posting that this would make some people mad because nothing angers people more than suggesting non-aggression. (The blog post I wrote that received the most negative and enraged comments ever was called “Compassion for our Enemies.”) People immediately think, We should, ought, must takes sides against and fight. how can I have compassion for Hitler or child abusers or puppy kickers? These are things we should, ought, must takes sides against and fight. Of course, they are right. But they are wrong to think that compassion means I am condoning these things or pardoning them from some navel-gazing woo-woo new age (bullshit) perspective. Or that I’m simply a coward, a big baby, or both. Compassion is for suckers, they believe.

Actually, compassion is a weapon of power. I mean, enemies are real and we must fight them with our whole hearts. However, when we fight what we hate by trying to summon more vitriol and hostility than our enemy, we always, always lose. The entire scope of recorded history is my witness. It takes far more courage to work with our feelings of rage than it does to hide from them by acting them out.

When we look underneath rage, we will find a wall of sadness and grief.

There is so much to be sad about in this world. Because it is so uncomfortable, we immediately want to turn sadness into what we imagine will hurt less: anger, hopelessness, helplessness. When the wish to help is rooted in anger, it will only create more confusion. And of course, when we feel hopeless or helpless, we take refuge in non-action, which also creates confusion.

When we allow sadness, action arises from love.

I believe that sadness and the willingness to feel altogether are the antidotes to the hatred and degradation in our world. All the things we abhor were committed by people who were hurt and didn’t know what to do next. They may have been unable to feel their (very, very justified) pain. Some pain is too much to bear. We need help. It may sound trite, but it is true. Therefore, when we develop some capacity to feel, we also develop the capacity restore our world to sanity.

Be brave. Be sad.

Please practice non-hatred. Please practice solving rather than winning. Please practice taking the first step toward love. You can do it. I know this because it is what you practice each time you sit on your cushion (or chair!!) to meditate, each time you pick up your journal, and each time you allow your heart to break open to this world.

Keep me posted.

Love,
Susan

categorized in: compassion, dharma